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fucking best buy Nanonymous No.1699 [D][S][L][A][C] >>1715
>girl says she's a nerd
>ask what kind of computer she has
>macbook air
>turn 360 degrees
>walk to the exit
>open the door
>there's a bear
>become a dinosaur
>engage in combat
>bear punches me
>makes me vomit spaghetti
>roundhouse kick it
>bear bursts into treats

Nanonymous No.1701 [D][U][F] >>1702 >>1715
File: 2db7766b575cbc247dd24bf820f5ed8299f72f430ff370e7e84669594cacd923.png (dl) (638.19 KiB)
>confront nigger at school because he stole my calculator
>nigger throws a punch at my face
>I dodge at the speed of light, perform a 540 degree kotatsu swing and watch the nigger's decapitated head sail across the room
>I bow deeply
>everyone starts clapping
>stacy comes up to me, kneels and starts sucking my dick
>everyone does a hitler salute and all the black people kill themselves
>I march into the white house and declare myself president
>order the police to kill all niggers
>order the military to take over the world
>establish the white ethnostate fourth reich
where were you when I became supaaman?

Nanonymous No.1702 [D]
>>1701
>became supraman
*slave
ftfy

Nanonymous No.1715 [D][U][F]
File: ca64d8c7db017d43b41afdc9482da03cefc30c7ed1debe44863fd7fab67ca262.png (dl) (119.46 KiB)
>>1699
>guy on imageboard says he's a nerd
>struggles through K&R
>proceeds to attack mainstream PL plebs
>writes shit with buffer overflows and 10000 line make file
>complains that SJWs ruined tech
>creates 5 clones of himself
>pic related. its basically him
>>1701
what capeshit is this from?

Nanonymous No.1735 [D] >>1736
>Minding my own business and installing OpenBSD on my router
>Mama starts yelling from downstairs
>"What is it mama?"
>"SERGIO! EL COMPUTER NO WORKO! NO GUSTA!"
>Go downstairs, find that there is taco sauce on the monitor, tostadas on the keyboard, tortillas in the optical drive, salsa in the heatsink, guacamole on the southbridge, burritos in the case fan, beans cooking on the fermi, and tacos in the PSU.
>Fuck it, I'll buy her a Mac
>Go to Apple store
>Considering purchasing an iMac
>Steve Jobs is there
>Talks to me about the iMac
>I get really hyped for the iMac
>Decide to buy it on the spot
>Reach for my wallet
>Suddenly, spaghetti spills out of my pocket
>There's spaghetti on the floor
>Everybody walk the dinosaur
>Try to clean it all up
>I look down
>There's fur in the spaghetti, leading to the realization that I am a bear

Nanonymous No.1736 [D]
>>1735
>SERGIO! EL COMPUTER NO WORKO! NO GUSTA!
¡Sergio! ¡El ordenador no estoy funcionada! ¡No me gusta!
fucking stupid gringo doesn't know how to speak the official language of USA lmao @ gringos

Nanonymous No.1757 [D]
>be on /g/, using my Gentoo rig powered by 4 RTX 2080's and an i9 9900k, when knock at cave door
>OPEN UP WE'S THE POH LEASE
>push a couple old Pentium 4s against the door (those things are just so damn handy)
>begin waddling towards escape hatch
>BANG BANG BANG
>cops shooting the door, screaming MURIKA FUCK YEAH
>be Canadian, quite confused
>continue waddling as fast as I can
>cops break door down
>they begin sprinting towards me
>one gets caught in my intranet
>fuck that was an expensive cable it's hard to get them that long
>whatever
>cop begins shooting me
>dive behind Fermi pile
>Old Fermis burst into flames, buying me time
>grab my Thinkpad
>escape hatch blocked by cans
>prepare for final stand
>cop comes around corner
>nail her on the head with my Thinkpad
>Thinkpad 1 SWAT helmet 0
>another cop comes around the corner
>shoots me
>absorbed in my fat, bounces off
>this angers me
>release the bear
>Guardian Neckbear leaps from neck and begins biting cop
>throw GNU/Hurd kernel DVDs at him
>he dies from disgust
>cop jumps through can pile
>falls onto my pile of dragon dildos
>runs back out screaming
>jump in my get-away pedovan
>mom runs out of house
>SERGIO COMPUTER NO JUST WERKO, NO GUSTA!!
>NOT NOW MOM I'M BUSY
>rev up car
>cop cars begin coming around corner
>speed off
>they chase me
>they have no drivers and crash into poles
>an entire polish parade
>1.7% of the parade survive
>more cops behind me
>NO TIME FOR LOVE, COPPERS
>helicopter appears above me
>it's rotational velociodencity begins to degrade as it comes closer to my giant dog-shapped pedovan
>it bluescreens
>jump out of door
>hit the floor
>everyone do the dinosaur

Nanonymous No.1758 [D]
Plot Twist - Girl was a Loli
>Proceed to shove cock in her ass like she's Cat Goddess

Nanonymous No.2528 [D][U][F] >>2542
File: 7c96931ec5f856c5c962f20dd0b7ecb2b7b7f947362a05f17fcfd1a899ad18cf.png (dl) (87.81 KiB)
>grandpa calls up, computer is fucked
>he drops it off
>10,000 toolbars
>reformat
>install Arch Linux
>compile everything from source
>get superior rolling release minimal system
>force all daemons and proessces, x windows, etc required to be manually started (like they SHOULD BE)
>return laptop
>he calls up
>WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT WHAT DID U DO TO MY COMPUTER FUK U KID
Fucking old people, just die already.

Nanonymous No.2542 [D] >>2545
>>2528
>old people
Install xfce

Nanonymous No.2545 [D]
>>2542
I've even gotten boomer relatives to use openbox. I just make sure only the programs they need are in the right click menu and descriptively named, plus a terminal. If anything goes fucky I can tell them to click the terminal and exactly what to type.

Nanonymous No.2559 [D][U][F]
File: b281315421435493f4e020ed8d3fa2b2ea205c91f5a459c8231fd637cc7169fe.png (dl) (117.34 KiB)
>brother calls up, macbook is fucked
>he drops it off
>the only mac os trojan in existence is installed
>reformat
>install Arch Linux
>compile everything from source
>get superior rolling release minimal system
>force all daemons and proessces, x windows, etc required to be manually started (like they SHOULD BE)
>return macbook
>he calls up
>WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT WHAT DID U DO TO MY MAKBOK FUK U
I told him that Arch is even more hipster than OSX, after that he shut up.

Nanonymous No.2560 [D][U][F]
File: 4c86c4f5ba76bdccfb2c55f9f6358b4537c4607e2eaa3b2f9a51a58cb91322bf.png (dl) (223.74 KiB)
>be me
>be in IT class
>normalfags start coming and turning on their compooters
>windoze everywhere when suddenly
>a girl
>starts crying
>turn around, look at her screen
>windows update
>thetimeisnow.ogg
>adjust my fedora and with one swift jump i'm at her desk
>look at her
>"don't worry m'lady, i'll handle this"
>using my lvl 99 autism i telekinetically remove the hdd from the compooter
>pull out my thinkpad, stored safely in my fat rolls
>connect the two and dump my custom lfs netboot image onto the disk
>put it back in
>hear some noise from the back
>don't care
>thetimeisnow.flac
>start the thing
>initramfs loads and starts to download root from my openbsd server
>"should be ready in an hour, ma'am"
>turn around
>put on sunglasses
>rolls flapping
>feel the wind
>it's the bear
>saved the day once again