I can't make her talk to me, and I'll stop trying. But I can post here where she might lurk. I can leave her words of encouragement and love, even if she shows up to tear me down.

You're not alone Chanchan even if it feels like it. You're not alone to suffer with whatever demons/traumas you're wrestling with. You're not alone in your battles. I'll be waiting steadfast for your call to arms even if it never comes. I'll be ready to assist cus I'm a Channing Knight.