All I really want is to be understood. Everyone intentionally I think misunderstands me and takes literal the masks and personas I portray online. Chanchan knows exactly what I'm talking about. It's all very Jungian. We all wear masks. Online, IRL, whether we realize it or not. Integrating your shadow and doing shadow work puts you in control of these masks so that they're not in control of you.

The person I am in my waking life isn't a carbon copy of the personas I use online. Some of the beliefs are the same, perhaps exaggerated to a degree to emphasize a point, but anyone who actually knows me among the FTL community knows this.

It's part of why your insults don't faze me. You're insulting a mask, a persona. You don't know the real me. You have a head canon about who I am. Sure you may know some things about me, but you don't know me. You make up things to fill in the blanks so that you can justify the heinous things you say about me.

I'm guilty of doing this to. I've done it to Channing. I took things I know and filled in the cracks with my best estimates, and that's not a nice thing to do to someone. I truly am sorry for all of it. I will never give up on one day being able to reconcile with her. She's one of the rare individuals that just gets it. When I talk to people it's rare for me to think "Oh yeah this person gets it."

It's why I won't give up. Reattaining her friendship means everything to me.

She knows the closest approximation of the real me that the internet can allow, and I her. I want her to know the real me. And I want to know the real her.

>>178839
You're the one acknowledging the cp. I ignore it. Do you click on it? That's fucked up. I wouldn't be sad if this whole site got canned for cp. Why the fuck would bots or anyone think advertising that here is alright? Must be an audience here for it among the agatha2 incels.