The year is 2004.
Your rich daddy has once again taken you and your German mommy, whom he met as a jarhead stationed in ol' Krautland, back to Europe to spend some time with your mom's family.
Your days are bright. Each day is a playground.
You are yet to be exposed to the world and its dangers.
Impurity has not yet influenced your flourishing imagination.
Innocence is your natural state.
Your virginity is still intact.
Your anal virginity is still intact. "Semen" has not yet entered your vocabulary, or your mouth. It will be many, many days until you figure out the functions of sex organs other than to secrete waste.
Mom is around, dad is not a loony. All that smoking and all that drinking hasn't yet affected their respective immune systems.
Your entire family loves the child you. A blossoming new life, full of possibility and hope.
But you're not concerned about that. You cannot fathom the idea of expectation, and if you did, you simply wouldn't care.
Your only concern is playing World War with your toys in the living room.
Life is good.