>>48539
I don't hate you because I don't care enough to, but I don't really like you either, and the reason for that, which is the reason I dislike most girls here, is that you're an attention whore. What exactly is supposed to be appealing about you and what you're doing here? You're on here practically begging for 'orbiters' and for people to 'orbit' you, which is an inherently one-sided and exploitative relationship dynamic. I'm supposed to like that? What do I gain in utility or pleasantness or my own enjoyment from interacting with you? Even if one was to be become 'friends' with you, (likely in the shallowest sense, never really knowing where they stand), it wouldn't be enough, you'd still be seeking attention from others. I don't think anyone would feel good about that. Your complete lack of discrimination when it comes to the people you want some form of social relationship with is another problem. People prefer to be chosen; he who is friends with everyone is friends with no one. Considering you've made clear you're willing to be friends with just about anyone, and considering where you're doing this, even with the absolute dregs of society, any relationship with you in any form would be essentially meaningless, because people like you do not see people as individuals, who they really are, but as abstractions, the one is almost completely interchangeable with the next. This is no basis for any form of genuine interaction or fruitful, mutually beneficial connection, and so the whole thing, from my point of view, is entirely pointless.

Another thing: you can not change yourself to be more likeable, to appeal to the tastes of others, and you should not want to do so. Any relationships garnered from such a course of action would be entirely inauthentic, based on a lie. Would that really make you feel better, to know that these people only like you because you are not you, because you act in such a way, because you play a character, to appeal to them? In such a scenario it is not really you that they like. And do you really want to appeal to people like this >>48544 anyway? What you should do is not worry so much about others, you should develop your own authentic personality, pursue your own interests, tend to your own garden, "become what you are." And naturally you will find your own people, people who like you for who you actually are, and, of course, some others will not like you and that's okay, too. That's simply an inevitable fact of life, not everyone was made to get along. Relationships should be, and genuine, meaningful relationships only can be, based on authenticity.

You should probably cut back on your use of and engagement with r9k, and other related communities, and the types of people that congregate within them. Because it must be said that most of these people are looking to exploit you as well. There's nothing good to be gained from places like that or this. They only contribute to and reinforce unhealthy mindsets and patterns of behaviour. Realistically, you are actively harming yourself by continuing to do these things that you're doing. You are not going to find what you're looking for in these places.

Anyway, this post got a little out of hand, I didn't intend to ramble so much; hopefully most of it was at least somewhat coherent. Good luck in the future and with whatever you decide to do.