Anonymous 10/14/2021 (Thu) 17:29:13 No.5295 del
>Is this even love?
Probably not. My guess is you are infatuated with her, and her imperfections activate your protective instinct, making you like her even more.
>i was shocked and grossed out, why?
Perhaps you just feel bad about jerking it to someone who has (allegedly) passed. If you want my opinion, I dont think there's anything wrong with doing it.
>I wonder if she was rejecting me
It's possible, but I dont think that's what's happening. You seem like someone who worries a lot and overthinks things, to the point of harming yourself.
Shit, dude. If you're worrying about things to the point where you lose your erection and feel disgusted, maybe it's time to relax and let go of those thoughts. It's not good to let yourself be consumed.
Ultimately, you should just be simple and honest with yourself. Jerk it if you wanna, dont if you dont. You will probably feel better once you learn to take it easy.