I've gone and done it again.
After shitting on the toilet seat I took a dab of crap and worked it into my hair.
Now my bald spot is a uniform brown along with the rest of my hair.
I mussed up my hair enough for it to look plausible.
I'm back in the conference room now and no one is willing to meet my gaze.
I have to clench my stomach to keep from vomiting.
My penis throbs with an intense erection.