03/27/2022 (Sun) 23:32:59
im going to give my own personal opinion. its just my theory, not based on any facts.
I think deep down she cant forgive herself for her past, and she feels she doesnt deserve happiness or love, which is very sad (because she does deserve that). This would explain why she sabotages her life constantly. she crashes her cars, loses her jobs, sabotages relationships, annoys her family, and seems content living a low functioning unfulfilling life. One day i hope she will forgive herself for whatever she hates herself so much for , and realize its not too late to turn things around. a lot of us OG orbiters love her and will always will be in her corner.
I think that last relationship she was in that failed (with that russian mod guy andre?) really seemed to destroy her mentally and emotionally. she was depressed and hopeless for the entirety of 2019 pretty much. I wonder why that took such a toll on her, moreso than her breakups with roberto or charlie or anyone else for that matter. Its almost like that was her one last attempt at real love, and after that she is now resigned to wasting away and spending life alone. I think "the flame has gone out" inside of her, if you understand what i mean.