>>46
It's only emasculating if you value being a masculine man and abhor being feminine or a woman; emasculation is a deprivation of your own strength that is rooted in masculinity. MEFs often fantasize about being either weakened boys or even babies for this reason, and not women.
And without this emasculation, it cannot be masochistic. There is no humiliation involved.

If you are describing yourself, you sound like one of those borderline cases I mentioned. If you choose to realize this path then once your shame for your own femininity goes away and you fully accept yourself, your masochism may go away or take in a different form (women are more often masochists than men iirc). Because at the root of masochism is self-doubt, self-loathing, low self-esteem, etc. Masochism is self-harm to deal with those negative feelings.