well this website hate me and i none of my images in an OP seem to work so...

im retarded?

>>3345
yes

Yes i am, so posting one by one

>>3346
3/3 for now...

cutout seems to do better than remini. thanks for high rez ash, anon.

>>3343
Thanks, the larger the pic the more of her to love.

these look pretty good.
are you the same guy from the discord? I wonder if this software would do a better job on that little tiny pic uncut posted a couple weeks ago.
also slouchy or I could clean it up in photoshop if it's sort of close

>>3346

she's got such a unique eye color. they're like emeralds in amber.

We still don't know the color of her brown eye. Apparently she said she won't bleach because it's white enough whatever that means?

yellow light can trick you especially on digital cameras, the yellow of most lightbulbs or direct sunlight will make green appear hazel or light brown. even my eyes look grey or brownish in pictures, and they're actually blue.
you have to catch someone's eyes in white light to know the real color.

>>3348
>>3349
no worries, glad to share them

>>3351
yeah they are one of her best features

>>3353
hah good one!


Here are a couple more

>>3350
I tried it with cutoutpro but the result were pretty awful. Someone used Remni on it and that had much better results, so I used that as a base to build on and made some edits like new eyes, cheek and lip coloured and a slight shadow along the nose to make the edge of it more distinct

>>3354
nice screengrab, made a quick one from it but with a slight tweak to the lighting/colour

try this one

>>3358
valiant effort man, you have to basically draw it to upscale a tiny picture that much

>>3359
this one actually turned out amazing, you can't even tell it's edited. I think I've seen better examples as well, that was just one that I found quickly, I will post if I find another

>>3360
>implying ashley would ever fall for the smartphone meme
Fake news DELET NAO

>>3361
nani

>>3362
If you have a smartphone, do the right thing and smash that shit with a hammer.

>>3367
you're absolutely right. but for some reason I have this feeling I've seen Ashley with a smartphone before other than in that picture...

>>3370
I was joking autist, I assume he was as well. the phone is visible in like a quarter of her videos.

>>3372
It's hard to tell when someone is joking or actually retarded here.

>>3360
>try this one
I will get around to it, I want to do most of the pics.

a few more

>>3394
when was the red hair? was that after she deleted the youtube?

>>3397
I think so


some more

>>3360
as you requested but dont think it turned out that great unfortunately, she looks like she is half blinking

>>3412
oh man they came out bright green in this one

>>3415
oh man her face got fucked up in this one
maybe I'll try and fix it later

>>3414
post the original. i don't have this one for some reason?

latest batch turned out alright

>>3464
Again, thanks for the work you put in for these photos.
Not many girls could look so flawless as the Ash under the scrutiny of a high resolution closeup.

>>3468
I've always liked this pic. I imagine body slamming Ash on the bed and pinning her as she looks up at me like this.

>>3479
For your own personal safety pay particular attention to
3:07-3:11

>>3479
are you sure you possess the strength for such a feat?

>>3479
>>3480
>>3483
dude, just look at these guns!

>>3491
Yea, definitely a girl not to be trifled with. Engage her at your own risk.

I don't know man she looked kind of athletic in that one tiny pic Uncut or someone impersonating him posted a couple weeks ago, maybe she became a musclegirl.

>>3415
still doesn't look quite right to me but this is about the best I can do

>>3505
lmao she looks like a gook

>>3507
...so I succeeded?

>>3491
updating this one as its a little pale

the face paint got a little too sharpened but whatever

So, how many guitars does she have?
there is atleast pic related
2 acoustic
a sunburst guitar with like 2 humbucker pickups(?)
and bass guitar

and also a drumkit

>>3576
she had another electric? where did you see it?
I also didn't realize there were two acoustics

>>3577
pic related on the left is the 2nd acoustic
and on the right is the other electric. She never uses it on any videos and I have no idea what brand it is though

>>3666
ah you know what, that's a bass I think. idk the brand either though, I don't know basses as well.
and yeah you're right there was a black one and a tan one. like most couples in modern movies.

>>3667

uggggggg damn her for blessing us with her smile and then taking it away

>>3680
She sure does have a captivating and enthralling smile. I for one always enjoyed her cute little smirk too.

>>3687
WHATSANIGGAGOTTADOOO????
WHATSANIGGAGOTTADOOOOOO??????????

ran out of credits, so its about a week till my subscription resets and I get 100 more.

Santa's face got fucked up

>>3840
wow this one is seamless

Most of the ones left are either turning out completely shit or need adjustments. So posts here are going to be a lot slower.

>>3910
tbf, outside of their last album, my chemical romance was a pretty solid band

>>3913
yeah, they were another band like a7x that had a following before they became really big and the normies that shop at hot topic ruined it with their cringe emo attention whoring

>>3913
they're both ok, but I am glad the scene hair thing is gone forever

>>3917
ngl i think the scene girl look can be hot. it's a lot better that what we have currently. a majority of young college girls are atrocious looking.

>>3922
it is less bad than other things I guess

>>3922
Here's an atrocious looking lesbian college "girl".
https://youtube.com/watch?v=wDYNVH0U3cs [Embed]

>>3924
It's better than this. I have a weakness for scene girls with blue hair.
>>3925
Here's another atrocity.
https://twitter.com/libsoftiktok/status/1519341209298214912
The first time I watched this, I wasn't sure if it was a mtf or ftm. I mean, an actual dude going into a gynecologists office to get birth control is probably an actual thing in clown world now. I mean, there are mtf who stick tampons in their butt like they did on Southpark. https://southpark.cc.com/video-clips/sen5qv/south-park-death-by-tampon
My former roommate was a dyke that looks like the girl screaming in your video who dated an ftm that looks like the girl in my video. They were fucking nuts. Trump lived in their head rent free for real. She told me that Trump plans to cage all women and force them to become breeders on a stud farm where they would be raped and forced to have babies for the patriarchy. I'm not making this up. I laughed but then she became angry and started yelling. It wasn't my decision to let this person move in.

>>3926
I think it's a woman. a fair number of FtM manage to pass I think, usually on account of being fugly, but not vice versa as we all know https://youtu.be/JASUsVY5YJ8?t=197
>an actual dude going into a gynecologists office to get birth control is probably an actual thing in clown world now
I was gonna say Jessica Yaniv, but nvm that was a waxing place. I'm sure it's happening though.

>>3926
I use to give FTM credit. They didn't seem as crazy as the obvious crossdressers who get offended by a prostate exam. Gotta get that TikTok content, though.

>>3933
they're a little different. the MtF outnumber FtM considerably, and I think for them it's more sexual fetishization and going too far down the porn funnel. for the women it's mostly wanting to be part of the social movement and receive attention.

...who is this and does she have any porn of herself out there???

>>4070
budai? he just does lewds.

>>4070
buddha? yeah sort of, it's considered "artistic" though

>>4070
theres none of her but she has plenty of porn featuring other people

>>4178
I just noticed the AI decided the necklace chain is going to be hair...
plus the the faint line across the right nostril.
Going to fix this one later

>>4176

this one's especially adorable. a little lens blur and you wouldn't even know it's upscaled.

>>4178
fixed version

>>4196
Imagine laying there with her. Looking into her eyes. Slipping your hand under that shirt. Hnng.

>>4201
wooooaaaah
hey
none of that now

>>4202
gonna lewd ashley 24/7 and there's not a gosh darn thing you can do to stop me

>>4201
...and rubbing her belly as your future manlet son Derrick grows within her and she say "God, I hate that abortion is now illegal and I have to live with this parasite growing within me. "Ashley, you only have a few more months handcuffed to the rails of this hospital bed. Then you can go beat your self with a hammer and fall down the stairs all you want the judge said, babe."

>>4196
She's so pretty. I just want to come home late one evening and crawl into bed with her. Wake her up with some smooches while whispering in her ear and she says, "Not tonight, you're drunk." Then I wrestle her out of the covers on the bed and she screams to stop. "You're my waif and you're gonna do as I say!" So I pick her up over my shoulder and take her into the living room and beat her all night at Smash Bros. while she cries abut it.

>>4214
You sick piece of shit, I bet you main Kirby.

I'll crush you both. I'll crush all of you on a team against me.

>>4241
Kirby can swallow a load of cum
>>4244
Better loosen up because we're gonna run a train on that ass. You'll be going down faster than Michael Jackson on Macaulay Culkin.

I want Ashley to dance to this beautiful song
>https://www.vidlii.com/watch?v=bJrtLliSSPm
will she ever come back bros?

>>4246
HE WAS INNOCENT

>>4247
a timeless classic

Credit Cards With High Balance
http://7o6orgwyysbpulgsgzzda34zh6jmmtpq77ts2dag6si24yh72chkpaad.onion/

Driver License and SSN Scan
http://7ngmhsoygybxojbgbi6wilt3perplqmd4qnanuk5oa2lhlea2cvbhvad.onion/

Fake Spoof Email Sender
http://hxoddho4opnfvwieesqtjmblaltazvkp3fqfgawauzsex76q2jsxkqyd.onion/

The Secret Hidden Group Society
http://yknbrx7zodg6uqi4fyl7tr6d3d5xklgq6d5qfsjem2b6bl2lniz7xeid.onion/

Six Secret Society (Legit)
http://oejmzd4r2km3tokdocb34gpjy34rvpu3mlthw7whfansk4kqtpcpajad.onion/

Cards Vbv and Non Vbv
http://xohzcaenimrdb4p2anhqwgqch5n5whbvortjiesh444bjcj4vam5uuid.onion/

The Dark Web Legit Youtube Lottery
http://jvgbejq3d3pjimrg4f2bq4qqwqaaie3h3q3ooudkf4szaxrzckeo4pqd.onion/

>>4251
Can you find Ashley?

>>3343
Are there no free upscalers out there? It seems like something that's fairly easy to create on your own, all you should need are high res pictures of girls' faces.

>>4256
dude, no, that is not easy to do

God, she's so ugly and retarded. I hate her so much. That Ashton fella, on the other hand...

>>4274
woah, it turned that cheap abstract art into an avant garde masterpiece

>>4277

you didn't know ashley was into jackson polack?

>>4276
I prefer the real Ashley

>>4279
Este es Mila, no es Ashley. Pero ella es mi novia y es 4'11" tambien.

>>4280
Este es Kaleigh, no es Taylor. Pero ella es mi novia y es 4'11" tambien.

>>4281
?Quien es Taylor?

whatr all you mexicans doin here

>>4283
La nueva hija de Mary reemplazará a Ashley
https://twitter.com/nudeobama

>>4284
i'm here to marry ashley and take her back to juárez

>>4285
Nadie poder recolocar Kaleigh bonita, nadie.

>>4286
Ashley detesta usted. Vete a casa, beaner.

Escuchen espaldas mojadas, el único que va a poner su carne en su taco soy yo. A Ashley le gusto. Ella lo dijo aquí mismo.
https://endchan.net/ashleyj/res/2444.html#3973

>>4286
.

>>4289
siempre supe que eras cubano

>>4292
.

>>4286
yeah right you just want a green card

>>4292
Si yo fuera cubano, habría golpeado al padre de Ashley y me habría casado con ella en 2014.

>>4295
pero el te dio una paliza hace unos dias

>>4284
Si la montana no viene a Mahoma, Mahoma va a la montana

>>4298
y explota la montaña

I would chow down on Ashley's churri, no questions asked.

?Ashley regresara en dos meses? ?Quien sabe si ella lo hara?

>>4302
Y amo su voz chirriante, pequeno

>>4300
jajajaja

>>4304
dijo que "unos meses" >>3967
a lo mejor primero tiene que comprar todas sus armas

>>4307
Guao, que es tan aterrador.

>>4307

la proclama de ashley será en su mayoría errores tipográficos

>>4309
Pero pensaba Ashley es perfecta. Que lastima.

>>4309
there weren't any typos dumb ESL

Ashley está embarazada. Nuestro pequeño Pepito. Ella regresará en unos meses cuando él haya terminado con sus ordeñadores.

Google Translate is shit btw. When I run the Spanish translations back through to see if they are correct, they are a little off.

>>4313
It's almost like technology is a meme and we're never going to get into the future we were promised with flying cars and ai war that murders billions of human waste.

>>4312
>>4313
are you paying a mexican to write those for you?

>>4316
No, but I should because clearly I can't trust a trillion dollar company to get it right.

>>4317
google translate did that? well it must be slightly better than it used to be

Mexicans in her walls...
Mexicans under her bed...
Mexicans in this thread.

¡Dios mío!

Is there a full version of this?

>>4349

here you go

>>4350
Wtf is wrong with you?! Don't be posting Old Gods here, man!

>>4347
Mexico is in her blood
Mexico is on her shirt
She's a spicy mamacita

>>4347
Mexicans under my bed
Mexicans in my mind

>>4357
I always feel like Mexicans are watching me

>>4369
woah I don't think I've seen this

wait nvm I have
it's been a while since I marathoned all the videos

>>4369
It sucks TLC canceled Barry and Linda after just a few episodes. Though I cant blame them after.. ya know... the incident...

I noticed that ash's eyes look weird in this picture. If you look close you can see it.

>>4446
how

>>4446
It's just her inner self breaking free. Good videography.

On a different note, someone spied this delivered to her former home. Hope it means she's moving back in to make videos, target rich for sure.

>>4452
That would be hilarious is Ashley somehow ended up back at her old house

>>4452
this is an artistic work for the ages. the viewer is sucked in immediately by the contrasting colors, then notices something is off about the edges of the vending machine. why, this vending machine isn't truly located in this house. but why did they just cut it out in a square instead of masking the edges? were they just too lazy? fool. you've overlooked the very intention of the artist. they surely could've made you think this pepsi themed pop machine was really in this wood paneled bedroom, but they didn't want you to wonder why a carbonated sugar water machine was in a suburban bedroom, they wanted you to think about the MEANING of the pepsi in the bedroom. perhaps the artist himself doesn't even know what that is. after all, an artist's purpose is to ask questions and not necessarily to give answers.

>>4464
>pepsi themed pop machine

As the Ash once said and quite vehemently I might add, "It's not pop, it's soda".

>>4466
btw you can actually sort of do simple masking in ms paint, just color the part you don't want pure white and then check "transparent selection" in the select tool options

>>4468
Thanks, bro.

>>4452
my god Seabee, I think you're right... wait a second, is that...

>>4475
Wow, you're too cool for school, heh, heh. Nice job.

>>4475
showoff

Thank you for agreeing to hear my pitch, Mr. Katzenberg. Much like your successful platform Quibi, I will only need a "byte" of your time to convince you that this project has legs. (pause for laughter) Anyway... picture if you will a puckish apple-cheeked cherub named Ashton. He's a young wiener of a lad who though well-intentioned often finds himself in a bit of a pickle, a bit of a sticky wicket if you will. The series will follow him after a move as he ventures door to door in the new neighborhood introducing himself as a registered sex offender. It'll be animated of course - for the kids - and each episode will revolve around our hero running up against some closed minded bigots before winning them over. Only - and get this - he will always make a pear of things in the end by trying to molest someone in the household. Thus setting up the next installment. It'll be either a child or a pet or a elderly person depending on the context. I'm thinking Adam Sandler as star with the rest of the cast filled out accordingly with lesser ((((actors))).

Have NFT's completely stopped being a thing? Because otherwise this could run into more of money than a sheeny jizzing into a cash register.

>>4514
>>4515
10/10

the first one is disturbing because of the clear semblance to the original pic but actually looking like a passable pixar character

>>4513
Why does she look like a hapa?

>>4514
Looking forward to more Pixar r34 on Pornhub. Aunt Cass and Mrs. Incredible just don't do it for me anymore. A child, a pet or an elderly person you say? Can't wait to watch Ashton decide who to rape from Up. I like to imagine Ashton as the guy molesting Jessie in front of the other toys and they have to console her when he's done but can't clean her off as it would arouse too much suspicion.

>>4514
Your shitposts are so eloquently written. I will have to level up my shitposting skill some more to be at your level.

>>4514
If Sandler is too busy whoring himself out to Netflix, might I suggest John Turturro. He has experience playing a character that has to go door to door in the new neighborhood introducing himself as a registered sex offender.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=KdOjVsfuKPs [Embed]

had to replace the top right corner of her head and I think i did a decent job of it.

>>4555
you did, I can't tell even when looking for it

>>4628
the AI decided Ron will be a lesbian grandma in HD

bonus

>>4555
Wife material. I just want to open jars and get things from the high cabinets for her. I hope she's not a feminist. That would ruin the fantasy.

>>4628
>>4629
that's kind of like one of those cartoon scenes

>>4633
Then what happens when two people with the kavorka hook up? Because this is already a joke in my circle of friends about me. I actually have the kavorka from seinfeld fr fr no cap

>>4629
I think this enhancer tool must be an AI that's been fed lots of pictures and uses them to guess at what it should've looked like, so the really low res ones get more chaotic and look like chunks of random people thrown together

>>4636
oh there you are, I thought you got yourself eaten by an alligator or something

>>4636
Coincidentally I thought of that very scenario. When two people meet that are blessed or cursed if you will with the Kavorka it would be as if worlds collide and the event would transcend into nothing less than the force of 1000 suns. Be careful. Anon, be extremely careful. If you want to be happy for the rest of your life get an ugly woman to be your wife. (ugly women as a rule aren't blessed or cursed if you will with the Kavorka)

>>4639
>>4640
listen here private, no 1000 suns is gonna keep me and my wife apart. the moment she senses the aura of my presence she'll start howling like a female wolf in heat. that's what ashley and me are, two lone wolves out surviving in the tundra of normies. and she'll see me and her long dormant reproductive instincts will rekindle, and she'll beg for my alpha genetic code, and i'll say not until you apologize for saying i'm boring and annoying, and she'll start crying and i'll pretend to be mad even though it never really bothered me. I know she was just kidding anyway, she actually really likes me. girls call you names and stuff when they actually like you it happens to me all the time. anyway about the kavorka, when i meet ashley it'll like two ICBMs colliding, it'll be like the cold war except hot. i'm russia's nukes and she's the US's. the whole world will shake from the shock of our impact, and fire and destruction will surround us. what do we care though, the world never did anything for us, we're just two lone wolves and they're a bunch of montana farmers trying to drive us to extinction.

>>4641
Two points regarding your post:
Don't call me private. When my 4 year enlistment ended I was a petty officer 2nd class. That's an E5 equal to a sergeant in the Marines.

Seriously though, your remark about Montana farmers driving wolves to extinction reminded me of a tv program I saw some time ago. It was showing that bitch Sarah Palin (and I rarely speak ill of conservatives) flying in a chopper shooting wolves and laughing her ass off. Man I was so wishing that chopper to crash.

>>4641
>long dormant reproductive instincts
Oh, I know what the ladies like.

>>4640
>Get an ugly girl to marry you
I'm not settling for a 7
I want an 11
I don't care if marrying Ashley kills me
As long as I'm her kavorka
She can be my Kevorkian

>>4653
>I want an 11
are YOU an 11?

>>4654
My charisma is

>>4655
prove it, record a video of yourself hitting on chicks

>>4656
That's assault, brotha! I'm not just gonna give away my smooth moves for free, ex-lax. You'll just have to purchase my shitty ebook for $19.95 + shipping & handling

"Ashley please make a new video, I'll do anything. I'll kill myself if you don't make a new video"

>>4658
Genrih can you do anything right

anything, if itll bring Ashley back

>>4661
change fill to solid color

how do i use things

tfy,

sfa

>>4657
Are you dapper dna?

>>4662
Ashton can fill you with a solid
>>4666
It's the avatar, Wang the cum bender
>>4668
Yea I'm a big tuper

umm, sooooo anyways here is some m-m-ore upscaled pics y-y-you guys...

also, dapperdan pls let us know you are ok (seriously)

>>4666
blessed by lord satan

>>4674
soon he's gonna have to start selling his novels for food

чё у всех экзы сегодня?
все кидают чето результаты

Ashley please make a new video,

I'll do anything.

I'll kill myself

if you don't make a new video

>>4696

ah, snap, alien writing. beep boop bop. take me to yuor leader.

>>4708
nani nani

POV: You finally meet your internet crush and this is the last thing you see before she pepper sprays you to death

>>4992
>s-she's fast!

can you kill someone with pepper spray?

>>4992
i immediately imagined a john wick style fight without even reading the text.

I always feel like somebody's watching me
Tell me it's just a dream

>>5001
thats probably just Laughing_Boy

>>5017
you must be an oldfag because pretty sure LB has been posting under a different name for quite some time now. you'd know that if you were one of the newfags in the discord

>>5036
this is the struggle with rebranding. no one's ever gonna stop calling them the Redskins no matter how many formal documents they change.

>>5045
what the fuck is this picture
how and why did you do this

WHY DID YOU DELETE IT

>>5017
*record skip*
*freeze frame*
yeah, that's me, the lich king. you're probably wondering how i got in ashley's bathroom. well it all started with her sexual harassment allegations at activision blizzard

>>5046
If you saw it, you better have saved it so you could repost it for the rest of us.

>>5046
>>5047

"what is this eldritch horror beyond my comprehension?

...i didn't say delete it."

>>5052
well I didn't think they were gonna delete it a minute later

hey, person who posted that, why did you delete it? also why do you enjoy psychologically torturing me so much?

>>5054
Describe to us what it was.

>>5056
a very gross tranny. a very very gross tranny.

>>5056

Wow, didn't mean to be so upsetting. (heheh) It was a random channer troon that I thought could pass for Ashton age 40. I was gonna use it to troll, decided not to, but kinda did anyways.

>>5058
NO YOU DID NOT
YOU DID ONE OF THOSE IMAGE MERGING THINGS ON YOURSELF WITH SOME FAG WITH APATCHY MUSTACHE
STOP PLAYING GAMES WITH MY MIIIIIIINNNND

>>5058
Yep. That's pretty cursed.

>>5058
hey man, your back hair is starting to come in nicely!

>>5065
this is one of those "vibe checks"
she's "vibe checking" us

>>5058

mfw standing in the morgue looking at the corpse of somebody's chile but sho' not mine

>>5067
the poor AI tried its best to make it pretty

>>5058
Hell yeah, bro. Want to ride dirtbikes at my house? I got a new Fox Racing jersey I want to wear out. I'll pick you up a Monster.

>>5067
Oh, so I guess this pic of Ash isn't good enough to become a wallpapper then. You're not transphobic are you? Trans rights are human rights. You have no place here bigot. Leave. Now.

>>5058
All I can think about now is Ashley being naked and that weird shower smell that lingers in the bathroom after someone gets out. To do this Ashley had to get naked. Think about that. Ashley nude. Let that sink in. The bathroom. That's where it belong. Taking a nude selfie? To post on the internet? Not on a rooftop? I don't think Ashley could even do that. This is too brave and stunning for her. I bet she sent it to Seabee for a free sausage pizza. He shooped it with some app to show off his gorilla mindset. Seabee. Give us the goods. I didn't know you had it like that. You're the Terry Richardson of ashleyj now. Seabee is probably taking pics of Ashley at this very moment. His big sausage pizza. All Ashley wants. All she has to do is stand there. Let Seabee rub his weird penis on her. Making dad jokes. Tell her all about that one time. His buds in BUD/S. SEALBEE. Built Tonka tough. Hit the beach of Grenada in '83. In a killdozer. Saved all the Marines. Thank you for you service.

>>5072
we all know he couldn't use photoshop so he did it all in ms paint. that's what an American Soldier does. we build, we fight.

>>5072
Dude, you're a trip. Are you a minstrel? Are you the long lost son of one of America's foremost story tellers, Jean Shepherd?
Speaking of Ashley and showers I'm getting impure thoughts. It's so damn hot where I am that I can only imagine the Ash and myself in a cool shower as our bodies entwine, she admiring my Adonis type frame and myself admiring her tight and piquant anatomy.
As for Grenada I'll have to leave that to Clint Eastwood, Gunny Sergeant Highway to you. My exploits in Afghanistan can't hold a candle to his escapades.
"Rub my weird penis on her" The Ash always said that she preferred it uncut so I'll just leave it to your imagination or better yet you could just ask her.

>>5073
You're right,friend, I couldn't photoshop if mine and Ashley's lives depended on it. There's only so much that can be done with a Window 7, LOL.

>>5058
That light switch is placed pretty high up. Who installed that? A Mexican on drywall stilts? It's supposed to be placed 48 inches from the floor. That's 4 feet according to Google. This light switch is obviously placed a full foot or so higher than it's supposed to be. Considering the average white male is between 5'7" and 6'2". How tall is David Faustino here?

>>5058
https://www.theblaze.com/news/uk-teen-girl-wanted-to-be-male-got-breasts-removed-took-testosterone-now-23-she-says-doctors-should-have-challenged-her-decision--and-is-suing
you'll be sorry

>>5074
oh seabee the eloquent wording of your romantic posts always send a chill up my spine

>>5076
...damn you're right that's pretty short even for Ash, is he/she/it leaning forward or something?

>>5077
i have kind of a fetish for detransitioned chicks. as long as they don't cut their tits off a deep voice is kinda hot. i expect in the future it'll be a whole porn catagory.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=nM0fl7kjSiA [Embed]

>>5081
Yeah, a deep voice on a girl is kinda sexy but then again I think Ashley's scratchy little voice is kinda hot too.

>>5076
When I renovated my house I moved the light switches 6" off the floor so I could turn the lights on and off with my foot. I had to move them back to 48" because my dumb blonde girlfriend said that she was tired of bending over to turn the lights on and off. I told her it was so the lights could be turned on and off with the foot. Now she says that it hurts her leg to lift it 48" to turn the lights on and off.

>>5081
lol stupid whore ruined her voice

Barber: Alright, what kind of hair cut do you want?
Ashton: Just give me the Elliot Page.
Barber: Say no more.

>>5087
that was what came to my mind as well
Ellen has done so much damage setting a bad example for impressionable young women like Ashley

>>5303
she dyed her hair like 4 times in the months after deleting the youtube.
it must've all been because of some boy, that's my new theory.

>>5305
somebody called her beaner and she was like, NOOOO i'm a wee scottish redheaded lass like me mum, ese! then she tried skin bleach and poisoned herself and died.

>>5306
oooh
that does explain why she was gone for so long.

>>5084
You should put all the light switches in the kitchen for her

>>5310
I doubt if she could even find the kitchen.

>>5311
Because you probably have all the lights turned off and she can't find the switches

>>5306
She survived, it seems.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=QanJcToqNH0 [Embed]

Ashley, you were once an 11. Now you're a 3 or 4 but I'm willing to overlook this and accept you for who you are now as long as I have regular access to shortbread.

>>5314
if you're gonna be ginger, you gotta have a scottish accent. otherwise you're just an anagram.

>>5312
Yeah, I was thinking of installing The Clapper in every room so all she would have to do is clap once to turn on the lights and clap again to turn the lights off but she's not the sharpest knife in the drawer and knowing her she'd screw it up by losing count.
So I asked her if she would be amenable to an Alexa device so all she has to do is say,"Alexa, turn on lights." So the first thing she asked me what amenable means. After I explained what amenable meant she stated that Alexa wouldn't work for her because her mom always told her to never speak to strangers.

>>5319
the first part was funny

>>5317
>otherwise you're just an anagram
or a nag a ram

>>5322
he meant nigger I think

>>6327
I told you so.

>>6328
>>6327
Is there any point going to the "new" Ashley board as opposed to this board since the general consensus seems to be that a lot of us were pranked by the "new" board?"

https://youtube.com/watch?v=z-nfbDXTiHg [Embed]

>>6336
you could go talk about trans rights to annoy him. it wouldn't really though, like everything else he pretends to be passionate about, he doesn't really care and is just putting on a show hoping to evoke a particular reaction.

I typically don't mind trannies on a person to person basis, and regardless of activism, I think public bathrooms should be single occupant with a lock on the door. I've had too many fags trying to proposition me, and I just don't like shitting next to other people in general. They should stay out of sports, though. And everyone who participates in drag queen story hour should be taken out in the street and ****, even the kids.

>>6397
Tell me about the fags that proposition you. I've been hit on by butch dykes. Had one follow me into the men's room at Wal-Mart and put her arms around me while I was pissing in the urinal. I also had a butch dyke roommate fall for me and she started drinking because I wouldn't date her. She would cry and exclaim no one loves her. She would come to my bedroom door at night and beg me to have sex while she was drunk. We had to kick her out because she pissed all over the apartment to get back at me while I had guests over. She moved in with a ftm trans when she left. I don't mind the lipstick lesbians as much but they are usually psychotic. I had a crush on a real pretty one but she turned out be batshit insane like those moms that force their kids to transition. My stalker claims she was a lesbian but now she claims she is bi and started dating a Jewish guy when I kept ignoring her, not even joking. We were coworkers. She's mixed and I have no interest in dating Meghan Markle. I've had gay coworkers crush on me and a bi friend make me uncomfortable a few times by giving me bedroom eyes. He wasn't bi until he went to college. I don't know how I feel about it? It doesn't seem to bother his wife. I don't fear faggots. I just don't want to associate with them because they are disgusting. Whether it be on the inside or the outside. The memes are real. I used to refurbish electronics and resell them on eBay. Most phones you repair still have the previous owners data on them. I was snooping on this one phone and it had a lot of pics of the previous owner on it. He just looked like an average joe. Lots of pics with family and friends but then I found some selfies he had took in the mirror and it just got worse from there. He had pics of himself sucking lots of other guys off and eating ass clearly in public restrooms. You could even make out the work uniforms of some of the other guys. Taco Bell was one. There was video as well. This guy recorded himself eating shit from some guys asshole in a public restroom. He was sexting both men and women but there were no nudes of women on that phone. Imagine being one of the women he fucked. You made out with a guy who eats shit. I'm sure there is solace in knowing HIV could show up in the next several years.

>>6399
too long. write it again in 2 sentences or less.

>>6400
Ur g ay

BOTTOM TEXT

>>6399

I know this was a shitpost, but since things are dead around here I might as well hazard a somewhat humorous story. When I was fifteen I had to take a piss at Walmart. I hate using public bathrooms, but at the time this particular Walmart was still pretty clean. It was at night and I was there with some friends mostly hanging out because we were lame and had nothing better to do. I started toward the doorway and this 20-something dude just standing there darted inside. When I got in the stall door was wide open and he was on the toilet. I went to the urinal and he started loudly moaning and sort of muttering under his breath. Being the naive retard that I am my first thought was, "Poor guy, he must have some sort of bowel problem." I was genuinely worried whether I should seek help for him. I found out later that was a standard come-on and Walmart at night was a big cruising spot. Pretty much consistently after that some dude would wag his dick at me hoping I'd blow him. Again, being an autist, I would be like, "No, thanks."

>>6414
Listen man, that is totally not meant to be a shitpost. It may seem like one because I often post them, but that is the truth. I've seen things, man, and some stuff.

>>6414
that was a great read and an entertaining story. finally, a post worth reading on this board.

>>6414
So you're saying you'd blow him if you weren't an autist? Why are you faggots like this? Show some restraint. If some rando female walked into a room with me and started diddling herself and moaning, I'm not going to join in. You don't know anything about these people? It could just be my mysophobia but that's fucking gross. How do you know it's not the parasites inside them trying to find another host?

My sister-in-law died from infections brought on by her HIV. It wasn't pretty. She got AIDS from the nigger she left my brother for. Don't believe all the blissful drug commercials. HIV is horrible to live with and you will not have a normal fucking life at all. She was on all the drugs. They only allowed her to live for another ten years and she was always sick and in pain. Constant pneumonia. She was afraid to take showers or get caught in the rain and no swimming. The only enjoyment she got was making sure her kids were prepared for adulthood because she knew she wouldn't be there for them much longer. I know some people live longer with the disease like Magic Johnson, but most actually don't. Bug chasers and giftgivers deserve the oven.

STDs are one of the main reasons why I didn't persue my career in law enforcement any further. I'd be well on my way to becoming a detective if I did. Besides just being exhausted with baby sitting niggers and being a marriage counselor to white trash, I didn't want to risk catching a disease from one of those ghouls that try to spit in your face or get their infected blood on you or stab you with an infected drug needle. I have mad respect for police for dealing with those people because if it were up to me, I'd just shoot them and leave them for the carrion birds.

All you degenerate faggots are obsessed with sex. Sex is only supposed to be shared with someone you love or else it doesn't mean anything. Casual sex will leave an empty void inside you and become little more than an addiction. My thoughts on this aren't based on my religion. I don't need God to tell me not to go fuck some disease-ridden faggot in the men's room at Wal-mart. I saw two soldiers making out in the men's clothing section at Wal-mart many years ago and it was one of the most disgusting things I had ever seen up to that point in my life. The clothing section at Wal-mart is an interesting place. It has no cameras watching it so it's where most of the shoplifting takes place. I know this because I worked loss prevention. Wetbacks would come in all the time and dress themselves in work clothes and just walk out without paying for it. Niggers like to go there to remove discs from their cases. Degenerates like to meet up to fuck there.

>>6420
you probably get hookers on the regular. you have them pose for your fake Ashley pictures.
I 100% believe you were or tried to become a cop though, you have just the right personality for it.

>>6422
It wasn't that I didn't try. I simply changed my mind. There were a lot of officers gunned down around this time where I live and twelve hour rotating shifts with never ending paperwork for every little incident just for the same pay a forklift operator brings home aren't worth all the shit you have to deal with on a daily basis. It's like dealing with bad customers all day everyday. You wake up and just know you're going to have to deal with someone later on who is going to ruin your entire fucking day and when someone actually needs help, you're just so bunrt out, you don't care enough. Always come home with bruises and scratches. If I'm going to take a punch in the face for money, it will be in the octagon, not outside an IHOP when the clubs let out. Police deserve to be paid more in my opinion. Departments should quit buying gear for milsim retards to larp in and just pay their officers better to improve the quality of their employees. The juice is not worth the squeeze. Nah, I've never been with a lady of the night. I've never been with any woman actually. I've had the opportunity many times, I've just never taken it. I'm not embarrassed about it at all. It's fucking sad some men measure another man's worth by whether or not he's fucked. My dad called me gay once in a fight because I wouldn't fuck some whore. Abstinence used to be a common virtue and only lesser men fucked whores. I did have an embarassing moment at a party once where I walked in right on the next turn of Never Have I Ever and it was sex themed. I didn't make it out without everyone finding out I was a virgin. Lots of laughs but afterward, some of the girls started talking to me and asking my friend about me. I wasn't interested. I don't like sluts because my mom and dad got divorced when I was a kid and I would always have a new stepmom of the week waiting for me at my dad's house on weekends and they were always degenerate drug users who would invite their other whore friends over to prep themselves in our bathroom for a night of streetwalking. This is how my stepmoms made a few extra bucks by charging them rent. I actually come from a prestigious family, though. My great uncle was the vice president of the United States. Generation X and Y just had some problems. My dad is basically Hunter Biden although personality wise, he is Randy Marsh from Southpark. He died in 2019. He pushed me out of his life a few years before he died because he was making detrimental health decisions and wouldn't let me take care of him. I believe the woman he was with when he died killed him. I remember the last time I saw him alive, he was covered in all bandages and begged me to stay with him but I left. and I regret it because he died soon afterward. I didn't go to his funeral because I just couldn't. Neither did my brother. My uncle was the only one there. Btw, the person that tried to kill me was my own little brother. I just didn't want to talk about then. He said he hated me because everyone loved me and not him. He's in prison now. Feels.

By the time I'm done posting here, no one will have to doxx me, lol

>>6423
didn't you say you had sex before and your foreskin was never a problem?

>He said he hated me because everyone loved me and not him
yeah, I'm sure that's exactly what he said

>>6424
No? And yes, he did actually say that. I don't know what he exactly meant by it but he has made very poor decisions in his life that forced my family to essentially disown him and when I've tried to help him, he called me a bully and got violent with me. He pretty much pushed away the only person left who actually cares for him. My mother is afraid to be alone with him and moved to another state so he couldn't easily just drop by. I can't have him stay with me anymore. He's clearly become psychotic and violent. I've seen too many fucked up videos on liveleaks of people killing their own family members to risjk that shit. He told me that he killed someone and I was next. It's been investigated further by police based on the information in my statement and they did happen to find a body which was identified as one of his friends on facebook and he was involved in a shootout with police a town over but he fled the scene. It's all really fucked up. The whole altercation started when he showed up at my place in the middle of the night with a bag and a flashlight. I believe he was there to burglarize my home which he has probably done before and since I never caught him in the act till that evening, we just thought it was burglars. He stayed for a few nights because he was all fucked up. Looked like he had survived a car crash but he wouldn't let me take him to the hospital because he was wanted and I wasn't aware of that at the time. Then one evening he thought I was actually going to call the police on him so he held me hostage and then tried to overpower me saying he was going to kill me and then himself but I'm actually far stronger than him so he rabbit punched me but caught me in the face instead and blood went everywhere. That's when I decided to flee because I had no idea how injured I was. I was bleeding profusely and he went to grab a lighter and starter fluid saying I got something for your ass right here and he was going to set me on fire. The police called an ambulance for me and told me I had to go with them because I needed stitches. Side of my mouth was split like Joker in The Dark Knight. The altercation we had a few years ago, he hit me repeatedly in the face well over 10 times, I was told by my roommate before he lost count, for literally no reason at all? He just got off the couch and attacked me. Same situation here. He was sitting on the couch and got up and attacked me while I was on my laptop wearing headphones. I think he suffers from paranoid schizophrenia brought on by his excessive drug use because he was never like this until a few years ago and he's been hitting the meth pretty hard for the past several years. It's really sad because I remember how he was when he was little. My grandfather once said, "Your children grow up just to break your heart." I don't know what it's like to have kids yet, but that hit me in the feels and I remember it still to this day.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=BQIydFoDXo0 [Embed]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=rrg2AsP3Mpc [Embed]

the fuck happened to this thread

>>6414
I've heard walmart bathrooms are a common venue for toe-tapping. or at least they were before stuff like grindr. I got one just a year ago, I think. it's possible it was just a fucking weirdo but I think it was probably a fag. I was going to this local rec center with my friend over the summer last year, we would work out and then go swim in the pool there. when we went into the locker room there was this kid (like 16 or 17) in there just sitting on a bench with his towel, on his phone or something. we go out to the pool, we're there for like 20 or 30 minutes, we come back, the kid is still there. we go into the showers, they're open showers, no barriers or curtains or anything. the kid follows us in. my friend and I are both sissies who leave our swimsuits on in the showers, fortunately in this case, cause the kid is in there next to us, eying us up and down, and he's notably standing with his arms behind his back, protruding his pelvis, and at half-mast at least. I have a feeling that was neither his first nor last shower that day.