I am back from the Indian woman doctor. She got the results back from my urine test on Monday - there was no sign of a Urinary Tract Infection which is what she had diagnosed me with and prescribed antibiotics which did nothing.

She did not bother to call me about the results when she got them. At that point I did not have another appointment booked so for all she knew I would not go back and the issue would go untreated.

She thought I was there about my blood pressure today. I had to keep telling her no I have a serious arse problem please can I have it investigated. I feel like I need to piss all the time and struggle to get the urine out and my arse is so sore I had to buy a donut cushion to sit on.

She expressed no concern for me at all. Didn't explain what was happening to me. Offered me no compassion or reassurance. Fuck these bastard immigrant doctors.

She gave me a referral for a prostate ultrasound and also a Kidney and Bladder ultrasound. I phoned and am booked in for later today. I have to drink one litre of water an hour before the appointment and then not urinate after that.

The wand is going to be both external and internal. Right up the back passage. I am going to have to expose my vile malformed obese body to someone. My only alternative option was suicide which I considered but I have chosen to live. And to live comfortably for at least some time longer I need to get this issue sorted.

I will endure this nightmare. Probed, shamed and violated, I will endure.