My grandmother can see me lying on the bed with my fingers on my eyes trying to stop the hurt, right? She goes in the other room and picks up two articles of dirty clothes and asks if I want them washed. I say, "that's fine", and she says, "which?, and I said again, "that's fine", and she said, "I wish you could answer me, you are so mean". Suffering re-intensified. 10 minutes later she came back in the room while I was typing this and said, "I love you more than anything in the world", putting her hand on me.

I don't know why the abuse is like this.