I'm just going to come out and say it. Your entire generation is nutso. You believe insane things as the "movement" or the political zeitgeist, and you call the little insignificant intellectual people schizophrenic.
The simple fact is that your morality has become greyed so hard that you will never find yourself as a culture and society again, because you denied the Son of Man.
You did it again.
There is no future for you, because at every turn you denied the Son of Man. You thought, "not today, maybe tomorrow", and then you forced yourself into a conundrum, replaced by yet another conundrum, until you couldn't see straight