This place is not good for your mental and emotional health, anon.
No one is forcing you to come here, to a place populated with people and things you hate.
Coming here causes you much angst, anxiety, and personal agitation. You seem to find no joy, pleasure, or happiness by coming here.
This is not the place that is going to positively help you.
Walk away and lead a more peaceful life for yourself.
No one is forcing you to come here. The choice is always yours.