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The United Hoax of America Bernd 01/03/2020 (Fri) 02:09:28 [Preview] No. 33731
One day, the king of Aragon, Fernando II, had reconquered the peninsula, marrying the queen of Castile, disposing of his mere puppet Boabdil, and reaffirming the Aragonese claim of the emperor of Spain. To consolidate Spanish power, he married his child to the Austrian Habsburgs to gain control of the Holy Roman Empire, and thus become the most powerful country in Europe. He sought to use this position to both pressure the Ottoman empire, to conquer the rest of the Islamic world including India, and to reach the far east. For power, this was his goal, but he was quite bored of dealing with all of this strategic stuff. Even worse, he lost all forms of entertainment. Fernando sent away his old jesters, and was practically doing nothing his whole life... ...until he received a Genoese merchant, crypto-jew and sailor by the name of Christopher Columbus. He knew of the history of the Phoenicians and how they used maritime law plus their position in foreign courts to dominate the known world, and like the near eastern emperors of old, he knew many Lombards, but this fellow was special. Due to theories he learnt from Proto-Web 1.0 (i.e. the printing press) he suggested to the king of Portugal that since the earth was round, he could reach India by going west. The king of Portugal thought this was bullshit, and so said begone, so Columbus went to Fernando's court instead. After he and the queen issued an edict expelling the jews from the peninsula (despite their jewish blood), he decided that this one felt a little special, and decided to keep him as a new jester.
<You do you, Colon, sail the ocean blue west and find us India!

Bernd 01/03/2020 (Fri) 02:12:31 [Preview] No.33732 del
Fernando laughed it off, and so sent this little yid to the ocean, suspecting he will die. Was the earth even actually round? No, the ocean was just too vast for anyone to reach India by sea. So he'd either die of disease, have his ship sink, or sail back, and he'd be laughing his lice off his hair either way. It turned out, unsurprisingly, he sailed back. He discovered an island off the shore of India and named it "San Salvador". Everybody's happy. Except not. Fulfilling his role as a jester, he later on said he discovered a whole new continent that would later be named after a buddy of the king named Amerigo Vespucci, "America". He even got the pope to sign a treaty dividing Portuguese and Spanish territories in the "New World". The non-existent Aztec and Inca empires (which were as real as El Dorado, Narnia, and Middle Earth) were then supposedly overthrown by pawns of the king named Hernando Cortez and Francisco Pizarro, with hilarious tales, such as the kings being pagans that understood jackshit of what the Spanish came to do. 50 soldiers conquered these entire empires, resulting in a territory spanning from Mexico to Peru, connecting both oceans? What nonsense. None of that land exists, what you think of as "South America" is really just southern Spain, the people there are just mixed with moors. Why does the scenery there look so much like North Africa? Why is Mexican culture so similar to Arab culture? Fake, all of it. Supposedly redheaded whites made up the monarchy of the Incas according to the accounts of the conquistadores, while the Olmecs were blacks? Of course, there is no America and there were no brown Indians, all of this is just a hoax. The fake country of Morocco exists to cover the land up (which is why the fake USA made a treaty with the fake Morocco first), in reality it along with the Canary Islands made up all of New Spain. This joke by the King of Spain has been taken for reality, but the king never thought it was real. Did Charles V ever go to America? Nope, not once. Neither did the British, Dutch and French colonise the region, all "American" land they colonised were in reality islands in the North Sea (why do you think Manhattan is an island?). "Canada" is an even bigger lie. It doesn't even have much people at all, it's just a hockey wasteland somewhere around Greenland (which is a real place unlike the rest of America). Only Newfoundland and parts of Nova Scotia are real.
The "war of independence", and by the way, there's a suspisciously large gap between periods in American history, was just a tax revolt in Britain and the wastelands it controlled. Britain didn't care about them anymore, so they withdrew from the region. Similarly the "Latin American wars of independence" were just Spain withdrawing from parts of "Morocco" which would later be ceded to France (why do you think that not only was Mexico under heavy French influence, but Morocco was a French colony? bad coverups, right?). The "founding fathers of America" are freemasons, jews, or fictional characters. Why was there a "westward expansion of America" where Indians were slaughtered, when the west was already controlled by Mexico? Non-existent cowboys as well, which they imitate with their rodeos. An even bigger joke are the "Falkland islands" located right next to Antarctica. Why would the British want to keep a land so far south? Nonsense.
No foreign war with America ever reached American land, aside from the War of 1812, which was launched from Canada anyways. The Spanish-American war, WWI, WWII, etc.. If Hitler could reach Britain and France, even possibly Greenland why couldn't he reach America? Because it didn't exist. It's just a fake company in the western North Sea.
Nowadays, many Americans say that many other places in the world don't exist. In reality, they don't exist. They're not living in a massive continent, they're living in the North Sea, serving this tiny judeo-masonic cult.
Pre-Columbian maps of the world are correct. Spread the word - America is the biggest hoax in the world.

Bernd 01/03/2020 (Fri) 08:17:20 [Preview] No.33737 del
makes sense though I have a question. where are these videos coming from if america is fake?


Bernd 01/03/2020 (Fri) 11:43:31 [Preview] No.33742 del
They're filmed in the North Sea Islands and "Morocco". Most large-scale videos you see in "America" on the other hand are just CGI. 9/11 never happened, because those towers never existed in the first place.

Bernd 01/03/2020 (Fri) 16:48:33 [Preview] No.33745 del
I have three pals and an acquaintance who was in the US. I wonder how much they got to lie to me.

Bernd 01/03/2020 (Fri) 18:54:26 [Preview] No.33756 del
Incorrect. The Old World doesn't exist, only Oceania and the Americas. European colonization is an ethnic origin myth, later immigration a post hoc explanation for a baby boom unrecorded by demographers. The World Wars were fought in the Platine basin. America's Middle Eastern interventions actually took place in the Australian outback. Indonesia only exists east of the Wallace line.

Bernd 01/03/2020 (Fri) 20:37:09 [Preview] No.33762 del
This is all wrong

The truth is that this was all a simulation inside a videogame run by a rouge A.I that was developed by The Patriots© who were testing everything before launching Earth 2.0 during this current decade. Everything was just a beta build for the final product

t. knower of things

Bernd 01/03/2020 (Fri) 21:11:01 [Preview] No.33764 del
But what about South Africa? It's technically "New World" as well.
No, that's disinfo.

Bernd 01/03/2020 (Fri) 21:21:08 [Preview] No.33765 del
>No, that's disinfo.
Yeah, I'm just shitposting atm

Bernd 01/04/2020 (Sat) 08:15:06 [Preview] No.33766 del
>50 soldiers conquered these entire empires, resulting in a territory spanning from Mexico to Peru
It's really hilarious.

Bernd 01/04/2020 (Sat) 10:28:29 [Preview] No.33768 del
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Reality proves that this may be true. Even one person is enough to beat large amount of Mexicans.


Bernd 01/04/2020 (Sat) 18:10:01 [Preview] No.33779 del
South Africa is a late literary invention inspired by tales of "Subsaharan Africa", which, like Europe, is part of ethnic origin myths of other American peoples. There is no relationship between Subsaharan and North Africa (a remote province in mythology about "Europe") but academia rationalized that because of some similarities they're part of the same continent and divided by a putative desert, the "Sahara".

Bernd 01/04/2020 (Sat) 20:02:04 [Preview] No.33780 del
Viking settlements in Canada? If it's part of an ethnic myth*, then why did the settlements supposedly die out?
*which I don't believe really exists, and that ethnic origins are mostly accurate

Bernd 01/04/2020 (Sat) 20:02:45 [Preview] No.33781 del
Also Greenland, and Siberia (the latter of which is New World technically).

Bernd 01/06/2020 (Mon) 00:34:55 [Preview] No.33824 del
They were just ordinary settlements which died out. Whites and blacks are indigenous to the New World.
Conquered by settlers from Canada. Their deference to a mythical "Denmark" is just an elaborate ceremony for prestige and connection with the origin myth.
An extrapolation of existing myths inspired by dualism. If the westernmost "Europeans" crossed a sea to the west to reach the known world then the easternmost moved over land even further to the east.

Bernd 01/06/2020 (Mon) 04:18:37 [Preview] No.33828 del
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On a more serious note OP, it's very unlikely that they sent Columbus on a high risk expedition like that as a joke

Seafaring was a very expensive business. Empires weren't one to invest in anything unless they knew that they would get something back. Reason they sent him is because the Mediterranean sea had it's access cut off due to the Ottomans ruling over it. They needed to find some way, any way, to continue trade to keep the empire afloat

also people knew America already existed beforehand IIRC

Bernd 01/06/2020 (Mon) 04:34:35 [Preview] No.33830 del
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>San Salvador

Pretty interesting story on that one. They sent Columbus out to the sea and didn't find land for weeks/months. The ship's crew was murmuring about just killing Columbus and then turning back as a ruined expedition if they went another week without finding anything.

He heard what was going to happen to him and prayed to God to find anything and not get killed.(I think, memory's hazy)

And then he found an island the next day actually. Which is why it got that name

San Salvador = Saint Savior(?) = island that saved his neck

>Viking settlements in Canada? If it's part of an ethnic myth*, then why did the settlements supposedly die out?

East asian migrants crossed into america and slaughtered all of them / agriculture economy they had collapsed and took them with it

Bernd 01/06/2020 (Mon) 16:08:37 [Preview] No.33835 del
>Whites and blacks are indigenous to the New World.
Are brown American Indians a hoax?

Bernd 01/06/2020 (Mon) 18:23:45 [Preview] No.33840 del
How "brown" Amerindians differ from other Amerindians?

Bernd 01/06/2020 (Mon) 19:05:21 [Preview] No.33841 del
I mean Mongoloid Indians in general.

Bernd 01/06/2020 (Mon) 20:39:10 [Preview] No.33845 del
Also indigenous.

Bernd 01/06/2020 (Mon) 21:47:19 [Preview] No.33848 del
Where was the cradle of the human race? Amazonia?
How were the races/subraces separated each other? Where were their own lands originally before they started to intermix?
Did whites live on both continents, just one group northerly and the other more south?
How about Ayraps?
Where did parkway shitter Indians came from?
Was there a chivalric feudalism in the Americas?
Where the horses came from?
Where do I live?

Bernd 01/08/2020 (Wed) 04:35:16 [Preview] No.33882 del
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>Where was the cradle of the human race? Amazonia?
The Middle East/Levant

>How were the races/subraces separated each other? Where were their own lands originally before they started to intermix?
Either Tower of Babel story or people just moved to greener pastures for better work, stability or money. Then they met someone, were kinda lonely, and one thing led to another and there you go. As an example, people would probably to Ur or Mesopotamia since those were the major civilizational districts were at the time

>Did whites live on both continents, just one group northerly and the other more south?
Everyone probably lived together at first, but see above answer to what might have happened

How about Ayraps?
See above answers I think

>Where did parkway shitter Indians came from?

>Was there a chivalric feudalism in the Americas?

>Where the horses came from?
European settlers brought them when they moved. Along with other animals since they needed them for work or food. Pigs aren't native to America for example

>Where do I live?
On Earth brah maybe Hungary or in the Boland idk

Bernd 01/08/2020 (Wed) 06:24:54 [Preview] No.33884 del
Here's a (assburger)

Bernd 01/09/2020 (Thu) 17:41:16 [Preview] No.33911 del
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>Not taking your best haplotype maps as a gift
Her loss tbh

Have another assburger. On the house

Bernd 01/09/2020 (Thu) 18:00:43 [Preview] No.33913 del
>Where was the cradle of the human race?
The South American savannah. Later Andine settlers became proto-"Amerindians" and eastern Patagonians became white. All three groups extensively migrated through the continent and to North America. The whites mostly used sea travel which is why they're concentrated on the coastal Atlantic. The Pacific was crossed through Easter Island thrice, first briefly by proto-Abos who settled on Melanesia, later by proto-Amerindians who became proto-Polynesians and then by whites.
>How about Ayraps?
A subgroup of whites.
>Was there a chivalric feudalism in the Americas?
Yes. Charlemagne was a Southerner.
>Where the horses came from?
The Americas.
>Where do I live?
You don't.

Bernd 01/10/2020 (Fri) 00:14:30 [Preview] No.33931 del
Explain the Protestant Reformation.

Bernd 01/10/2020 (Fri) 02:38:26 [Preview] No.33933 del
>might have happened
Your theories are nothing but hypothesis without a real source.

Bernd 01/10/2020 (Fri) 02:56:53 [Preview] No.33935 del
The Argentine/German Luther attacked the authority of the Pope in Olinda.
John Calvin was from northern Uruguay.

Bernd 01/10/2020 (Fri) 04:45:05 [Preview] No.33936 del
There's tons of evidence supporting it. For example, the tower was obviously a ziggurat of sorts, modelled after the Caucasian mountains which they came down from (Noah's Ark/the global flood story). Domestic horses were destroyed in said flood and it's Ninus who tamed them, uncoincidentally horseback riding (as opposed to using chariots) was anthropologically proven to have originated in Babylon, etc.

Bernd 01/10/2020 (Fri) 05:13:45 [Preview] No.33938 del
>Reason they sent him is because the Mediterranean sea had it's access cut off due to the Ottomans ruling over it
Portugal did that. Spain was just helping them, they didn't discover America or any of that.

Bernd 01/10/2020 (Fri) 22:02:34 [Preview] No.33955 del
>Charlemagne was a Southerner.
I thought he was from Cayenne.
>You don't.
And suddenly I have literal existential crisis.

Bernd 01/11/2020 (Sat) 05:47:37 [Preview] No.33959 del
How about the origin of Christianity? Was it really American?

Bernd 01/11/2020 (Sat) 10:11:41 [Preview] No.33962 del
Who are the Jews of Americas?

Bernd 01/11/2020 (Sat) 10:32:44 [Preview] No.33963 del
Mormons obviously, but they're white and are thus a newer thing.

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