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Santa Claus - the story Bernd 01/06/2020 (Mon) 16:22:54 [Preview] No. 33836
The year is 1883. Karl Marx had just faked his own death, and escaped to Russia, where he met a young Vladimir Lenin in St. Petersburg, who was inspired by his work. He instructed him to overthrow the Romanov family and wanted a north pole Gulag as a reward. So he along with Leon Trotsky and Joseph Stalin had overthrown the Romanovs, killed them, and had established the USSR, beginning construction of Marx's Gulag, and sent political prisoners to the camp. These people were short and starved, and had pointy ears, and were insultingly called "elves" by Marx, and were all making these toys to be distributed every Christmas. Marx disguised himself as Nicholas of Myra, and using the intelligence service that later became the KGB, he spied on all capitalists and dissidents in Russia and neighbouring countries. In particular, he engaged in a massive piracy in the 1950s above to destroy capitalist industries, now toys were given out by Santa Claus instead of by the toy companies.
After spying on every Christian house in the western world, he would break in in his sleigh, eat the food of his victims, and leave suspiscious gifts below the tree. Eventually people will stop believing in him and thus not think much of him as a threat, leading them to later on even become atheists, and communists. Exactly going by the plan. Santa wears red because of communism. There's a star above the Christmas pine tree to represent the star of communism. Santa is Marx, and he's still alive. Why? Because only the good die young.
How do we stop him? Poison your milk and cookies, try shooting him in the middle of the night, more riskier we can try tracking down his gulag and then assassinating him there.

Bernd 01/06/2020 (Mon) 17:43:40 [Preview] No.33838 del
Don't wanna sound rude but could you keep these alternative true history topics in one thread in the future? They have their charm, but I'm not sure we can discuss one that much so they worth their own individual threads.

That Santa Marx looks like Dan Aykroyd in Trading Places.
>Santa wears red because of communism.
Makes sense. Add the fact that he gives people stuff for free...
Western world is fighting him year after year by spending more and more on "presents" which people don't get for free since themselves buying and giving "presents" in return. It is more like surprise bartering.
Maybe we could establish gambling on that basis - gambling is capitalistic too-, people could bet if they get what they want or not, or bet on if they can predict what they get.

Bernd 01/07/2020 (Tue) 10:19:58 [Preview] No.33860 del
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It is trully horrible how these ((((cultural marxists ))) are infiltrating our culture
https://youtube.com/watch?v=qnco-5OgYmg [Embed]

Bernd 01/07/2020 (Tue) 16:53:48 [Preview] No.33861 del
Fun song.

Bernd 01/10/2020 (Fri) 00:11:43 [Preview] No.33930 del
I appreciate the extra mile this guy went to look and sound like a smug 1930's Beer Hall Putch advocate, who'll be taking cyanide in a bunker 10 years later.

Bernd 01/10/2020 (Fri) 02:35:54 [Preview] No.33932 del
Santa Claus was invented by Coca-Cola.

Bernd 01/10/2020 (Fri) 02:39:25 [Preview] No.33934 del

Bernd 01/10/2020 (Fri) 05:12:38 [Preview] No.33937 del
No, that's just a coverup. Notice how it's supposedly Coca Cola that invented Santa while Pepsi was dealing with the USSR.

Bernd 01/10/2020 (Fri) 06:35:28 [Preview] No.33940 del
We have both since about 1969. Maybe because we were good goys boys in 1968, so the tovarishes in Moscow decided we can be rewarded.

Bernd 01/10/2020 (Fri) 08:00:19 [Preview] No.33942 del
>Pepsi was dealing with the USSR

Pepsi is a real world power actually: https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/soviet-union-pepsi-ships

>So, in the spring of 1989, Pepsi and the Soviet Union signed a remarkable deal. Pepsi became the middleman for 17 old submarines and three warships, including a frigate, a cruiser, and a destroyer, which the company sold for scrap. Pepsi also bought new Soviet oil tankers and leased them out or sold them in partnership with a Norwegian company. In return, the company could more than double the number of Pepsi plants in the Soviet Union. (It also ignited jokes that Pepsi was taking the Cola Wars to the high seas.) “We’re disarming the Soviet Union faster than you are,” Kendall quipped to Brent Scowcroft, President George H.W. Bush’s national security adviser.

Some sources say that Pepsi was 6th naval force in the world for short time.

Bernd 01/10/2020 (Fri) 09:33:23 [Preview] No.33943 del
Pepsi should've used that naval power to sabotage Coke shipping.

Bernd 01/10/2020 (Fri) 13:11:38 [Preview] No.33944 del
Now that I think about it, since Russia was willing to give Pepsi their warships for Pepsi, I should seize power here, and then offer Russia a warm water port in Thyborøn in exchange for them backing the hell out of everything else they're geopolitically involved in, so they have no excuse to "oppose" the west and start proxy wars.

Bernd 01/10/2020 (Fri) 16:47:00 [Preview] No.33949 del
That's a good article.

>I should seize power here
Let's do this.
We have to take over governmental offices, key positions in police, military and intelligence, occupy strategic objects, and assume control of the media. In case of Denmark, the number of Bernds we have here, might just be enough for that.

Bernd 01/10/2020 (Fri) 23:28:44 [Preview] No.33957 del
Okay, here's my plan:
First, we need a reason for opposing the government. Just say it's for fighting wars in Afghanistan/Iraq/etc. and importing these migrants, something about jews, masons, etc. and you're gravy. Surely this will get the military on our side. Give them pamphlets stating my whole ideology etc.
Second, make tours of the large cities (Copenhagen, Odense, Aarhus) and the countryside across both the islands and in Jutland, the northwest in particular. Have them swear oaths to the movement to revolt, and arm them with homemade rifles. Command them to seize strategic assets such as internet towers in as low-profile a way as possible.
Now go back to Copenhagen and start the revolt. Have a major tax revolt spring across the countryside which we now influence. Against the military and police forces that side against us, use mobility against them. Start using jihadist-style trucks and barrack busters as artillery against them. Since Denmark is flat as a pancake, it'll be easy to move them around. First seize Sjaelland thus cutting the supply lines between Jylland-Fyn and Copenhagen. Make landings in mainland northwest Jylland, and gradually make your way into the interior as you push into Fyn. Then, seize the roads connecting the three islands together, and besiege Copenhagen, leaving Odense the last bastion of the former government. After that, seeing their supply lines are completely cut off, they would surely make peace with us, thus ending the war. In this aftermath, install the new government.

Bernd 01/10/2020 (Fri) 23:36:39 [Preview] No.33958 del
Also, Bornholm will join, and will help in the siege of Copenhage.

Bernd 01/11/2020 (Sat) 10:09:17 [Preview] No.33961 del
I was thinking along the lines more of a coup d'état than a civil war.

Bernd 01/11/2020 (Sat) 10:58:12 [Preview] No.33965 del
Well I was thinking something like perform a coup then wage a civil war against the people opposing it, until they recognise sovereignty.

Bernd 01/11/2020 (Sat) 14:05:53 [Preview] No.33966 del
>people opposing it
People would do that? We might need to involve the NEETs to beef up our numbers then.

Bernd 01/11/2020 (Sat) 14:25:48 [Preview] No.33967 del
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Okay, so we round them up, and then train them to the point where one of them is basically the equivalent of six million Navy Seals, Ghurkas, and Russian Spetsnaz on steroids. Picrel are the obstacle courses we'll use. Just taze them when they disobey.
After that, we can start the coup.

Bernd 01/11/2020 (Sat) 14:27:56 [Preview] No.33968 del
>Navy Seals
Oh god, that reminded me of something. Thanks.

Bernd 01/13/2020 (Mon) 00:38:25 [Preview] No.34017 del
Fun-fact, not only is John Lennon still alive, he's actually Lenin's son. His birth name was Ivan Lenin, and he was a KGB agent. He changed his name to "John Lennon" in trying to introduce psyops into the west alongside Tavistock.

Bernd 01/13/2020 (Mon) 00:42:52 [Preview] No.34018 del
Also, Richard Stallman's real name is actually Richard Stalin. GNU is communism.

Bernd 01/13/2020 (Mon) 06:22:44 [Preview] No.34021 del
Mark David Chapman was asked why he killed John Lennon. He asked:
- Lennon? Not Lenin?

That's it! You're going to the gnulag!

Bernd 01/20/2020 (Mon) 05:45:30 [Preview] No.34141 del
You know Marx had written about something incredibly similar to what the USSR ended up being - and denounced it? Just saying because I've got a hard time suspending my disbelief.

>Barracks communism (German: Kasernenkommunismus) is the term coined by Karl Marx to refer to a crude, authoritarian, forced collectivism and communism where all aspects of life are bureaucratically regimented and communal. Marx used the expression to criticise the vision of Sergey Nechayev, outlined in "The Fundamental Principles of the Social Order of the Future". The term barracks here does not refer to military barracks, but to the workers' barracks-type primitive dormitories in which industrial workers lived in many places in the Russian Empire of the time.

Bernd 01/20/2020 (Mon) 05:51:17 [Preview] No.34143 del
wtf marx was based

Bernd 01/21/2020 (Tue) 06:32:14 [Preview] No.34169 del
And Hungary was the happiest barrack.

Bernd 01/22/2020 (Wed) 00:16:35 [Preview] No.34187 del
Why do we pronounce it Claws? Shouldn't it be pronounced Klaus like it is if it's by itself?

Bernd 01/22/2020 (Wed) 06:06:54 [Preview] No.34190 del
Pronounce it liek "see-laws"?

Bernd 01/22/2020 (Wed) 12:31:48 [Preview] No.34193 del
Marx told lots of stuff, he doesn't even sure what's he is defending if you read any other book then 'das kapital' He even defended colonialism for certain period. There is nothing clearly structured in his mind so there is no point to quote him as- someone who should be taken seriously.

Bernd 01/22/2020 (Wed) 13:56:30 [Preview] No.34194 del
Tzandtza Tseelawz?

Bernd 01/22/2020 (Wed) 16:05:17 [Preview] No.34196 del
>Klaus like it is if it's by itself?
What do you mean? "Clohs"?

Bernd 01/22/2020 (Wed) 17:44:53 [Preview] No.34198 del
Sounds good to me.
I meant liek C-Laws or something, similar to T-Dog and other gangsta shit, so everyone knows he is OG.

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