Sometime this month I drove hundreds of miles: had to basically stop and ask strangers for detections (got kinda lost after following directions I wrote down before leaving). Thank you anonymous for not being assholes: both people I talked to at different times were kind enough to give me directions. I offered them money as a thanks and they declined. I met one stranger in a bit of an awkward situation too. Also, thanks to other people for not being overly mean.

Now, on to "THE QUESTION". Why does anything exist? Does life have any meaning? Is life worth living? Is somethingness better than nothingness? Much philosophical ado has happened in regards to these questions. Maybe the answer is simple: No live is not worth living. Yes life is stupid and existence should have never existed. Things exist for no real overall meaning. Maybe it's cope to treat these as complex questions that humans will never answer. Just look at life and stuff and try to convince yourself that it's worth living in the first place: kinda hard to do.

I, like basically everyone, am somewhat entrenched or involved in life in various ways. Maybe it would have been better to never get involved. In that case, suicide would be easier. People make choices, and don't realize they did: just thought it was living. Like the choice to get involved in life.

These negative thoughts can't be reduced to "right" and "wrong", but they can be associated with "healthy" and "unhealthy" or "weakness" and "strength". Thinking so much about how life is absolute shit, it's like a betrayal of your own being. To be even more true to that concept, would be to kill yourself. I think some people want it both ways: thinking that life is not worth living, but they keep living. If you think life is good, and kept living, then no contradiction. So, for those who think life is bad but keep living: they do not embrace or support then certain negative aspects of life, and see those as defining features. They have something to hold on to or some positivity which means they keep living regardless.

For those who think life is bad then kill themselves: they see the badness as all-encompassing or too much for them to bear. You could say that suicide is the coward's way out, but maybe it's not cowardice but instead bravery to abandon years of suffering for nothingness or what might possibly lie beyond after death. It takes convictions to end your own life. It's a finality, and you are abandoning not just suffering, but also whatever else was in your life. Why keep clinging to a shitty life if there might be a better one or just nothingness after death? Because perhaps the possibly-exists afterliving is worse than the real life. That's one reason.

But what do they know about life? Maybe don't trust those who say "life is good" or "life is bad" if they don't have much life experience. If someone has been involved in many different aspects of life, then I guess their assessment of good or bad is more trustworthy. Maybe those who killed themselves wouldn't have do it they just experienced more or did more. Or "accomplished" more. Maybe they are dumb.

Or maybe those who say that life is good are fools. The real experience that one has over life can be used to define it: not some hypothetical life used to define their life experience.