>You have gone past the point here. This reasoning is as complex as stories like Enteral or The Star in Yellow. >Is the fic as good as those, no. obviously I am not looking forward to be crowned as the greatest revelation nor anything like that but it´s true that I wanted to bring more meaning or layers to OCs that no one cares about but I force the reader dig deeper into them while also delivering hints of the actual meta roots to where those subtleties come from. >But the groundwork I think is there for something good. I think you have it within you to weave such themes. Should you ever decide touch this again I'd highly recommend you run with some of this. thanks and yes, there is a recurrent pattern that has arisen every single time I try to write something and these subversions simply aid me to intensify and twist the ideas.
Will I write a story about these two?....I don´t know.
>If I have to choose one critique:needs more poison. Not nessinarily a lot more but the subtexts were at times too far that without context I have no idea. Like, with the moments it stood out the most it was a gentle breeze, but for some of the OC meta context and deeper musings I probably would not have guessed without you telling me. I do not mean to say bash it on the head but letting a little bit more shine through could be helpful for a more interesting read for others. wow that critique is weird as hell to hear. How am I supposed to reach this again? I´ll have to take notes from literature or something just to hold up to these standards. Still, these influences are exposed because other fans could also get a few ideas how such apparently mild lines among the text could imply such outlandish concepts at their core. It has been quite an experience to show both the story and the material used because both parts complement each other for the experience, exclusively on /endpone/ for now.
And I am going to be honest with my intentions here Bridgefag: considering that you were aiming high with Cosmos and Cadence as a bat pony, I had that sense that I would need to impress you after such a hiatus for me in writing anything. And as I said earlier, quantity doesn´t equal quality so I decided to post one single story but filled with lots of things behind.
I have to confess that I have enjoyed every single thought that you have typed here because not only I was looking for feedback or an objective commentary, but also trying to impress you and delivering a lesson or two with this experience. You have had conclusions that were quite close to its intended meaning so the fic did its job at being "understandable" but in reality, the comparison was just the proof that I can offer something in this post gen 4 era without appealing just to emotions in order to write something meaningful.
