I honestly think all the "masking" I've done (or tried to do, I don't think it ever REALLY works for anyone who needs to do it in the first place) may have been what caused the wear of my mind. It's too much effort to keep up that facade. I've talked about this before but I'm circling back into that idea now after exploring other possibilities and theories. I think introspection or no introspection, I WILL have to drop the facade at least partly. And the only realistic way to do that is by first changing my expectations about my own socialization. Cam is right about that I think. Whether the problem is on my end, or on their end, or there is no problem per se, the normies and I are incompatible. It's not going to work and I need to pick my struggles better. I also need rest, which I've been getting a good amount of, thank God. But after all the complete and absolute roaming bipedal mammal bullshit I've had to endure I feel like I could not talk to anybody IRL for a whole decade, if I was allowed the privilege