>>6428
It's impossible to be a character in a story. Characters in stories have no agency or internal experience; they're just words on a page.

I know that's fairly obvious, but we are a bunch inclined towards missing the forest for the trees.

What you'd more realistically be concerned about is that you're in some kind of simulation. Which, yes, could be a simulation that's a post-singularity medium for narrative fiction, in which you're a protagonist in one of our caliph's short stories. But if it's actually Scott, if he's somehow ended up writing in a medium in which the main characters are sentient he's not going to write those characters a Bad End.

But the actual realistic outcome is much more quotidian; she says yes, but either she didn't realise who the text was from and thought it was from Chad, or she's just lying to "prank" you. You have to rule out things going wrong in dumb ways before you're entitled to have them go wrong in clever ways.