>>2818
The worst part is that I am unable to explain how to bring your sword with you into the "Unconscious".

Entities told me that my "ways" are unfair.
The only reason why I behave because I fear the negative opinions of others. But I only care about the opinion of people who I consider as a person. So if they try to hurt me or just anger or inconvenience me for dumb reasons I consider them as obstacles. And I get rid of obstacles.

So then they will try to kill me?
Well If I know that I am in danger then my survival instinct activates. So that means they can only hurt me if they remove most of my unconscious drives but keep me semi conscious. If that happens I go into the oh my THIS IS A VIDEOGAME mindset. Which means I learn the control instantly and destroy anything I find destroyable. Is it moving? Then it is a target! Is it stronger than me? BOSS BATTLE BABY! ADAPT EVOLVE OVERCOME

These are mechanisms that worked "too well". Now I have to slowly dismantle them because fighting with entities is a great dopamin rush and I need to not "chase" that feeling.
I realized I have the greatest high when I am in absolute control (because when that happens everything is possible and I can do things I couldn't before) and when I am close to completely lose control (fighting for your life is also a great high)
This extremism is bad so I am trying to find balance. Not experiencing life like it is a constant battle.


Ok enough about me. Some tips. Figure out a "dreamcheck" method. So when you dream you can check if it is a dream so you can pull in yourself. Or your entities or Astra or the battleship or the sword. You need to understand that you can do anything if you try and willing to keep going no matter what

My dreamcheck was looking at my hands. I memorized my palmistry lines and dreams are bad at recreating it. And I wrote to multiple places as lookyourhands as a reminder. Because of that I subconsciously check my palms. If I have a hand I can grab or punch. Now with this I am combat ready. Also threw my sleep paralysis demon out of my room with this. Realized how to reactivate my right hand. Never had a sleep paralysis after that