Sunflower 01/14/2022 (Fri) 21:37:28 Id: 972fd5 No.481 del
As the Gazer was still full of energy I asked her to look into my mind and help cleaning up the leftovers... So she jumped on my back and ripped out a big rodent out of my skull... and some other nasty bugs. The lion even vomited out a 7-8 month old fetus made of some real hard darkness that she couldn't digest (I yelled at her to burn it first and if it doesn't work take it apart with her claws then eat it, but maybe it just wanted to show it to me). I have no idea where did it even find that it was not in my head but it was when I told her to start looking around and eat anything harmful.

Then after a while she vomited out machine parts. First I thought my mind couldn't form them into some better shape but suddenly I got a mild headache and I asked the Gazer to check that out. It was a machine part that blocked the flow of some energy. And as she pulled it out she found more and more.

As it turns out my mind was fully built with this structure and when I first tried to do something with it days ago it caused me huge pain. But now that it was not used by that parasite it was removed with ease and even felt good. I have no idea how that structure got inside my head but the parasite learned how to use it and how to learn all my tricks. That was my problem of battling with it. It knew everything about me and I couldn't use a single trick I usually use against outsider forces and I realized I can only use weapons against it that not even I know the effects of.

This was no jungian shadow. But sure as hell used every trick my "shadow" personality traits are against me and it could have continued his thing if I don't suck up my pride and ask for outside help.

No wonder the installation of the remote hurt. It pierced through structures this fuck tried to protect. And I thought these are "my" mental structures. Now they come apart so easily with minimal pain. I will dismantle every trace of influence and seal every entrance point because I never want to feel this shit ever again. I cannot even believe I considered this fuck as my shadow. It just realized that if it ever shows it's face I will kill it so it pretended everything that happens with me is my own weakness or fault. Guess it sorta was for not noticing it's existence sooner.