>>4811
Also I was a french nun long before the hundred year wars where I managed to awaken to a degree and I realized too many things about the nature of myself and reality and started to plan out my fate because I knew I am unable to manifest in a female body fully. When she returned I managed to hate women even more. They are either worthless whores or spoiled princesses without a kingdom nowadays. Back then you had to bust your ass to be able to find a proper male and make sure he not just "stays around" and works but smart enough to not get killed by bullshit and stays loyal. I had such a way with them because i was a "good girl" and knew what I have to say. But ofc that nun life realized there are no males good enough as god so it was church time. At least there is food and security there. Sex? Never heard about it sounds deplorable... What happened there? I found God... then I found out it was not God. It was my "other half" and seen the places I went through and realized being a woman is just a "vacation life" because I am too tired/lazy to walk my journey. Men are amazing they can do everything. Women cannot do much without them. Especially not back in those times. I sure understood social nuance back then because I knew my life depended on it.


Also I still don't know how you were a 7 year old little girl that lost her parents or got abandoned because city people are not like village people where more kids = more workforce on the farm. Rural peasants are quick to teach their children that no work = no food. Most I had were city states but those are like a town nowadays.

>Now imagine not having that things to start with.
Can't. I always find something. Even when I had a sleep paralysis I realized even tho I cannot move my body I inhabit it. Therefore I just need to manually reactivate my body. But yeah I had to go though several levels of loss within life because there were things that I had to lose... When I had nothing the otherside appeared several times. But I brushed it away because things kept me busy.

>with food served by nuns
This is something I hate so much. They think it is "good" to create a "dependent population" then not give them ways to survive later. This is why we have this absolute overpopulation. This way the lowerclass will never understand that full belly doesn't mean they can now fuck like rabbits then look/beg/steal for food again. There were so many middle eastern contracts about literally killing "Invasive species" tier people. And those weird names of the people were just the name of the "parents" like jews are Abrahamists. Causing more suffering with "misplaced kindness". Genius move. This is why the Greeks said we must never let women into position of power. They will just do shit like this then wonder why everything collapses. And yet the Greeks let it happen then Romans sold them as slaves. Was it inevitable? It seems it was.

Not to mention:
>OMG I had an another useless child wish there was a god I could sacrifice it too for riches!
That sure was a smart move and marked every civilization that practiced it for deletion.
Stressed out captive animals have a tendency to cannibalize their children. This just proves humans are even more retarded than animals sometimes. The human condition changed so many times. I think I will write about it in the next post.