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Go Agile Scrum Yourselves Anonymous 11/18/2021 (Thu) 18:37:52 [Preview] No. 14903
Agile scrum was a 4chan troll that wildly succeeded
Executives and managers thought it was all they needed
They hated having programmers creating what they sold
They wanted all employees to fit inside one tiny mold

Agile says you can always ship whatever shit you got
As long as it makes money it can be a buggy lot
Scrum says anybody can play anybody's game
So heart surgeons and oncologists are basically the same

So now it takes ten hours to produce the work of one
You need to hire ten times more to ever get it done
You'll hire people just to plan the meeting room conditions
You'll create meeting planner supervisory positions

So take this job and shove it up your puckered derrier
Replace me with ten robots or ten monkeys I don't care
Agile scrum yourselves in endless meetings all day long
It was one such meeting during which I wrote this song

And I'm posting it. To Endchan. During aforementioned meeting.
Cause I just don't give a fuck anymore. Why should I
if any bugs I create are someone else's problem? They don't
even want me to care! Thanks Agile Scrum! HAHAHAHAHA!
Payday tomorrow! Imma buy a bottle of vodka and a blowjob
assuming I can get through the next six meetings between now
and the end of Friday without jumping off the fucking roof.

Anonymous 11/19/2021 (Fri) 00:56:46 [Preview] No.14904 del

Is this a real story or you just trolling OP?

Well, at least the money's good, right?

Anonymous 11/19/2021 (Fri) 21:10:53 [Preview] No.14905 del
It's pretty obviously a troll. Who wouldn't love having "Agile Coaches" and "Scrum Masters" who can't even tell if source code shown them is Java or C telling people how to write software - continuously, in meetings, every single day? Who wouldn't be enthralled with producing one successful product after another with just a few talented colleagues for years morph into trying to coax 50 overseas developers into producing a single coherent anything at all? Who wouldn't find endless entertainment in watching an entire industry lose its collective mind?

I bet OP is just some disgruntled curmudgeon. Ignore those guys. They'll go away eventually.

Anonymous 11/19/2021 (Fri) 21:30:08 [Preview] No.14906 del
>morph into trying to coax 50 overseas developers into producing a single coherent anything at all

Isn't the problem: the quality of code is so poor, that more time is needed for debugging and review, and it defeats the cost savings of having low-wage, overseas coders? If you have a real programmer, software engineer handing requirements and specifications to a people person that in turn distributes the tasks to coders, it should work in theory. However, if your coders can't code very well...

Anonymous 11/20/2021 (Sat) 21:45:07 [Preview] No.14909 del
one problem is companies don't seem to care anymore if quality of their commercial product is shit. if it's profitable in its current state there is no need to improve quality. nowadays only fear of competition drives quality level, not embarassment over how shit their buggy garbage is. it does not help that programming as a career choice one can be happy in is dead, killed by companies trying to make programmers interchangable commodity cogs

Anonymous 12/03/2021 (Fri) 20:13:08 [Preview] No.14920 del
>one problem is companies don't seem to care anymore if quality of their commercial product is shit.

As long as it sells, they don't really care. It's the prevailing feeling most companies have

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