>>4224
>how does vanilla d&d actually handle this?

It's not set in stone as far as how individual DMs handle it but if I'm understanding it correctly:

If you receive damage >2x max hp, that's an instant kill, no saving throws. If your HP goes below -max hp then same, dead. If you go below 1, you must make three successful saving throws before three unsuccessful ones, once per turn. Or be stabilized or healed.

I relaxed it to no instant kill, your hp would be set at minimum -max hp and start your saving throws. SheShe is allowing one saving throw at the point where damage exceeded -max hp if you pass that it counts toward your passed saving throws and you need only 2 more, but you fail you die.

I am proposing that you may want a different system all together and we should discuss it.

Vanilla D&D is harsh and TPK (total party kill) is common.

>you meet up with friens to play and your character dies so you can go home and they tell you lol come back in a few months when we got the money to revive you you cant play with us until then?

Oh, not exactly, they either let you create a new character with a new backstory and start at level 1 again or are boosted to the level of the party. No one stops playing on death unless the group doesn't want you back as a player.