>>995
I know I'm just talking to myself here, but no matter what I try I cannot get used to my disgusting facial hair, nor chest hair, or leg hair... but the first especially because I can't hide it. I don't mind it as much on other males... but I still don't like it, a total turn off for me. I spent a thousand dollars on permanent laser hair removal, and still... the dreaded neck beard. Next up is electrolysis, I'll buy a device and do it myself.

Ahh I'm such a pussy to have let my parents control my life for the last decade. They've fucked me up so much and still I find it hard just leave. Stockholm syndrome I think, my relationship with mom...

I don't think it was bad that I wanted to avoid scorched earth conflict with my parents, but I should have left when I was 19 and could. At every turn they/their religion, has cucked me (in the liberal sense of defeat & thwarted efforts and desires, not literally).

Ahh I wish I wasn't such a pussy or was born a girl; or even better, both.
I'm wayyy too sensitive for a male.

Having to suppress my feminine side my whole life has hollowed me out. Made life joyless.

If my phenotypical sex and situation was reversed I'd simply be a tomboy. No stigma whatsoever. But wanting to be a trap is "the worst thing ever"...

Still, being a trap is literally the best I can hope for, but only if I can pass. I don't know... would I feel as suffocated if I had to suppress my masculinity instead of my femininity. That would be the true test to seen if I'm really trans or just a special snowflake.

... I'm just making it too complicated. If I had to chose between the binary of male or female, I'd choose female. The only conflict I might have is if there was a third option: natural perfect trap.