I’m actually fucking sick of frozen pizzas having such dogshit pepperoni distribution.

Why is there 14 pieces of pepperoni on one quarter of the pizza and then the remaining 75% is just cheese and disappointment?

I didn’t buy a fucking pepperoni pizza so I could play “Where’s Wally?” every time I take a bite.

And don’t even get me started on the pieces that somehow migrate to the exact same spot during cooking. You end up with one slice that’s basically a cured meat buffet and another that tastes like a fucking Margherita.

I shouldn’t have to perform quality control on a $6 frozen pizza before putting it in the oven.

DISTRIBUTE THE PEPPERONI.