It is a little known fact that Cruisey is actually responible for the Mongol invasion of Europe.
He used that NEETs uncles time machine to go back to 1222 and tried to convince the Khan to change their name from mongols to just mongs so he could sign the whole horde up with NDIS and make a fortune.
He would have succeeded too but unfortunately the Khan took great offence at Cruisey continually trying to shag all his wives, concubines and daughters and ordered him executed.
Cruisey fled back to the future and the next year the Mongol Hordes descended on Europe intent on revenge.