How can you afford to continue NOT seeking help?!
ask yourselves, honestly!

GET A PET. OR ENLIST IN THE MILITARY! or hell tell a parent Tell a family member of any kind or a friend See a shrink tell an actor Do anything but tell people on the Internet who are going to be the first people to tell you to hurt yourself more Usually some Especially here Hell even experimenting with drugs would be better than cutting yourself open It's not fun It is literally hazardous! and I'm not just saying that because of the risk to bleeding out have you ever heard of infection? Your body has literally built skin to keep the outside out!! You want to get Cellulitis? you want to get sepsis? you want to get staph? MRSA? All you're doing is inviting tragedy even if you should decide otherwise about how you feel about how you feel. You're conforming to a very destructive and negative behavior pattern And yes you are conforming Just because you're not doing what the Normans are doing doesn't mean you're not conformist. Instead of channeling it into something that nothing but harm channel it into something that you that expresses you in a way that does not endanger you! please! Get a pet get something that needs you every day every time you wake up it needs you Take charge of it Take responsibility for caring for it It'll give you purpose and that animal will give you love. Plain and simple