So im making a briefing to Libyan war infographic and wrote a short introduction based on what ive read, especially the Fragmentation of Libya pdf present in this thread.

Could you check it for meritoric errors and too ambigous turns of phrase, mischaracterisations etc?

The break-up of Libya after the sucessfull deposing of Gaddafi was a multidimensional process which, due to the large number of actors, cannot be understood without going into details about social, political and economic structure of Libya.
Since the purpose of this text is to merely introduce laymen to the situationpls refer to the excellent work by Wolfram Lacher for first hand accounts and detailed description: Libya’s Fragmentation, Structure and Process in Violent Conflict (2020).
However, the genesis of the Second Libyan Civil War should be briefly sketched out, as fundamental to the understanding of the events unfolding as we speak:

After the victory of the revolution in 2011, there were quite a few powerful militia left on the battlefield and the lack of political will or power to dissolve them. Instead, after the Libyan accounts in European banks became available to the new government , the distribution of the spoils began. Paramilitary and tribal groups were paid from the budget and grew without political control over them, some taking control of the oil fields as their security forces. All attempts to disarm them or incorporate to new army failed. There were sieges of state institutions in order to pay the militia's wages and kidnapping of political opponent.