>>10456
>Nibbling on one of his gems, Sharp Wit asked ”Pony can fly? Where are wings, pony?” At which point Flarestar’s coat began to glow a gentle red, and when she reared up... she kept going. Flying quickly above everyone’s head she zoomed past Sharp Wit’s ear, and landed exactly
where she had started.
Pony levitation was intended as a power for Twilight Sparkle if I recall, before she got her wings, right. Well, Dolores Umbridge used it but I surprisingly don't see it in fan fiction much.

>comments
B- Liked it well enough but needs a bit more for me to chew on before I can get a feel if I would like it or not.

>>10530
>Sufficiently detailed to my liking with lots of little word building and extra descriptiveness. I think perhaps I focus too much on these technical details but they sometimes make or break stories for me. Characters have their own voices and personalities.
I tend to care less on writing, too big and wordy gets in the way, too small and terse breaks immersion, anything in-between that I'm good. So I can't comment on the technical details other than it didn't annoy me to stop reading.

>>10535
How much of this was based on the characters and how much of this was based on the people who played the characters? Old DnD, the line is there, but I know for under 20 (30s) something self insert properties play a big roll than just a blurry line sometimes.