Anon 11/28/2018 (Wed) 20:52:10 No.2677 del
>>2663
>I started writing but there had to be an organic process for that even though I admit that a dragon tackling a pony to the lava is improperly placed for a show like this
It depends on how close to the show you plan to stick to and what you consider that even to be. Sure, a Dragon randomly pushing a pony into lava with the intent to kill probably wouldn't happen. But you have to ask yourself this: if Equestrian had a war would you portray death? Say you wrote a fic in the alternate Sombra timeline, would you put death in it. Arguably it would be there in a situation, at least implicitly, but it depends on how you look staying in character and staying within the realm of what is reasonably portrayable. Though for me I see no problem with it. I've seen fics go this far even when trying to stay close. It depends both on your philosophy and your goal.

>If I ever saw you again, I would take serious measurements with you even though it´s not entirely your fault.
Shouldn't it be measures? Or is there a meaning to the wording that I'm not getting at?

>My regalia were burning as well but surprisingly, not that turned into black
I think that it should be worded: not that it turned to black.

I've always been hesitant when it comes to grammer as I've never considered myself to have an eye for it, but I'm trying to be more helpful and these two sticked out to me as a little awkward/possibly erroneous.
Plus all the tag errors with Luna's dialog >>2658

All and all, I liked this fic. Though my enjoyment for this one has been characterized by my enjoyment/amusement for smaller details over the larger narrative set to assumable so far, so I won't offer a full judgment till I see how this fits in with whatever happens next. I looking forward to it though.