Anon 05/08/2020 (Fri) 08:17:58 No.5929 del
>>5926
>I have intricate thoughts, thus my tales have subtleties that intrigue me but simultaneously to remind myself of certain factual realities I add heavy-handed and short-cut statements to "finish" the tale so I can get back to what I'm trying to say ... and it turns out other people aren't like me.
Imagine that.
Do you sometimes feel like a prisoner in your head or unable to fully describe things? Feelings, associations, deep detail that you can hardly articulate into words? I actually know this quite well. It's hard to explain and the words fail you or you talk past the core point. The way you talk about Celestia makes me think of this that I think I have also felt or at least the taste of your words is familiar to me if that makes any sense.

>There's another, glaring problem. I don't know who the real antagonist is.
>Someone is trying to kill either Fred or George, and in my head it was NOT Celestia.
In my head? Do you write by feel? As in you write and just know that certain things should be a certain way? I do... or have done so on my couple of attempts of serious larger projects in the pre /endpone/ past. I actually think your fic is quite fixable but it depends on what your goal is.

Do you want it to be a like a murder mystery? You want there to be some kind of plot twist and have the character be established before for a plot twist.

Or do you want a different player who you interdouncee later but have it fit within the setting?

I think the remedies I could suggest be rather simple believe it or not but I have to know your goals and what you desire first.

>>5921
>Before diving into the little story shown here, I would prefer reading at how both universes human and ponies are separate without collapsing in terms of matter but manage to stay in contact with each other (like they did with Sunset and Celestia)

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