>>60819
A goal is something "you know you are not, but aspire to be and seek the steps to become". I don't think that idealized self was a goal.
An identity is something you "believe you should be, and not being it is failing, being wrong and a disappointment to yourself and your family".
As in, I'm only my true self if I live up to this person I should be, but since I don't, I'm literally no one.
You should neither be held by this identity, nor think that idealized goal is helpful. You should only care about what is your phenomological truth.