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Coswork16##jhBLkd is the true coswork16

NINNY.WIN

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back home and wish i was still out there will 12/12/2025 (Fri) 22:57 [Preview] No. 1482
i called my mom last night to see how she was doing. although what she did to my oldest sister was terrible and i havent forgiven her, she cried a lot and i felt bad. i realized i was hurting her and deep down there was a part of me that knew this and i was wanting to stay homeless just so i could return some of that abuse back to her, because i cant willingly be verbally or psychologically abusive without hating myself.

I was living on my own for 4 days and i loved every second of it, for the first time in my life i felt like i could fully actualize myself and build my life from the ground up, and i really wasnt wanting to come back here, but i know that intention matters, and if theres a slight part of me thats doing this just to make her feel bad (which i hate to admit, although she was terrible to us) it sullies the whole thing. i can never look at her the same way again. this whole thing was very scarring and already my mind is attempting to block all this out because whenever i start to remember how she treated her and i my brain goes static. i hate this all and i wish i could make it go away


will 12/12/2025 (Fri) 22:59 [Preview] No.1483 del
https://youtube.com/watch?v=NSqOalrxsyU [Embed]


will 12/12/2025 (Fri) 23:05 [Preview] No.1484 del
(139.42 KB 1500x1806 71fmphK2hCL.jpg)
https://youtube.com/watch?v=FXLj9LyECjE [Embed]


will 12/12/2025 (Fri) 23:09 [Preview] No.1485 del
uhhh like 47 stars in the sky
https://youtube.com/watch?v=ewVa4vXakGg [Embed]


will 12/12/2025 (Fri) 23:23 [Preview] No.1487 del
the problem is, my mother has a heart but she is prone to repeating the same patterns of psychological abuse that her own parents taught her. she went through terrible things growing up and i am sorry for that.

sometimes i see the way she treats us and im like "wow, thats how her mom treated her" and i realize that subconsciously shes reliving her abuse everyday and then taking on the role of vengeful mother for us just so she can feel like she has some control over the situation, and she doesnt even realize this. its a fact of abuse that its always learned, never an innate natural thing. abusing others is perpetuating it from another abusive source, youre not creating abuse out of thin air, youre spreading it to others. the sooner we all realize that the quicker we will wake up to the fact that this whole thing is cyclical and the only way we can stop it is through mercy and forgiveness. but its hard when people want to treat you like garbage because they still havent fully recovered from their trauma. To go out of your way to hurt others means that you were hurt, most cases without realizing it. the only thing i can do to help stop this cycle is to be the most merciful forgiving version of myself as is imaginable, which is hard but when i think about how all terrible people werent born that way but became terrible through their abuse, sometimes sexual, physical, mental, psychological, its hard to stay mad at them. i want to be a mother for all


Chud 12/13/2025 (Sat) 00:56 [Preview] No.1499 del
living on your own is cool doe and makes you feel accomplished and self-sufficient so you're able to resist whatever bullshit happens in the world around you. i think spending an entire day and night outside would be beneficial for me even if i sleep in a bush next to a footpath. someday i will get around to this


will 12/13/2025 (Sat) 01:23 [Preview] No.1500 del
>>1499
agreed, thats why i wanted to spend more time out there, but healing others was more important. I will say though iy made me a lot stronger and build more character. i'd say try it in the summer, start easy :)



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