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Introductions Garrett ##eaj5Bm 03/26/2026 (Thu) 10:41 [Preview] No. 1 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]

I will first introduce myself, introduce my tulpa Eerie, and finally introduce my tulpa King.
I'm Garrett, and I'm 30 years old and have lived in Arizona for 19 years.
I'm a child of severe abuse and neglect and one of those guinea pig SSRI and ritalin pill babies who was pilled up at 5 years old, and developed male BPD and schizotypal disorder. I've mostly (but not all the way) been rehabilitated from the BPD and lead a relatively successful life in all ways except financially.
I really enjoy the mental illnesses that I have. I personally think I have an extraordinarily rare combination of being extroverted enough to be a shameless entertainer on the Internet and a completely open book, and I've met many Internet friends IRL unafraid. I can carry a conversation and I'm comfortable being the center of conversation and have no topics I'm uncomfortable with. These are features not typically found in the "antisocials social clubs" and I'm usually pretty popular online as a result. Like, say I join a Discord server filled with ex-4chan users and all of them are afraid/too depressed to talk, which is all of them. Well, I'll talk and usually become relatively popular as a result. But, I'm mentally ill enough to have avoided the aspects of life that completely enslave the typical extroverts, like nightclubs, rap, Instagram, Twitch, and Discord servers with 90,000 users and this kind of thing. The typical alt-Internet user will be so caught up in privacy copes that they won't even tell you their first name and sever the possibility of a friendship to blossom as soon as you've met them, and I have never been this way and I'm here to socialize and to talk and to share, while also understanding and sympathizing with the general culture of the alt-Internet. So maybe you can see how this is a fun combination. I doxxed myself on 4chan when I was 12 years old cause I wanted to make friends.

Anyway, a typical day for me will go like I wake up, I get onto my computer and I sit there for 16-19 hours straight. And this has been the case since I was a small child. Always socializing, though. I posted on newgrounds forums, I became close friends with a homeless guy who makes Drew Pickles youtube poops and Microsoft Sam shitposts, I spent $400 making my avatar look cool on Gaia Online, I shitposted so hard I killed several generals on /v/ and /vg/, I became an admin on tohno-chan and talked in his IRC, all while I was underaged. Always using the Internet to socialize.

I despise what has happened to the Internet. I saw someone write today that turning their computer on feels like compulsively opening the fridge even though you already know there's nothing to eat. It has felt like this to me ever since Josh sold 9chan. I feel like crying just typing that.
Yes I know kiwifarms and 4chan still technically exist and I could post there anytime, but I have no desire to at all because of how they've all been infested with vitamin supplements and self-help gurus. I want to kill myself every single time I see someone discussing the exercise and fitness industry that's valued at over $828 billion.
As a result of my hating the new Internet so badly, I've become sort of "Internet homeless" and I haven't wrote a comment or submitted a post much of anywhere in several years. Consequently, my writing quality has dropped to 0. I am trying extremely hard right now to explain my ideas coherently and use proper grammar. I haven't done this since probably 2019? I tried writing a serious response and a serious Steam review last night, and they both looked like they were written by someone with schizophrenia or someone who's English second language. I became embarrassed enough that I wanted a place to practice writing with proper grammar and punctuation and get my communications skills back up. But there is no place to post. I hate everybody. So I had to reopen my own blog somewhere. And endchan has always been there for me.

4 posts and 5 images omitted.

Garrett ##eaj5Bm

03/26/2026 (Thu) 11:39 [Preview] No.6 del

Trouble is, I'm not a writer and I don't really want to be one and they're forcing me into it so that's an ongoing problem for me and my book has been an unfinished project I've scrapped and started over annually since I decided to do it. But I have a general outline of the plot and a fantasy universe I've created with rigid rules and set dressing that I've placed Eerie into the middle of.

Fast-forward through more autistic meandering and psychosis.
I calmed down a lot and stopped looking at Eerie as a figure of religious interest.
The television show ended and presumably flopped pretty hard? It never aired in any country besides Korea even though it was intended to from the drawing board. Shows in Korea do not get second seasons. This was a relief to me, I would sometimes have nightmares about new episodes airing and I wanted it to end.
I calmed down so much that I became bored, I liked being crazy and having a tumultuous relationship with a fictional character.
I became bored enough and we experienced bed death I guess you could say and I wanted to spice things up by introducing new characters perhaps.

Here's an idea I had: I am a gay man. I thought, what if I put a woman in there and force a weird love triangle situation like a soap opera? She'd be so jealous, Eerie'd be so jealous, they'd have fights and we'd all have personality clashes, and there'd be something new to discuss.

Well, that didn't work out. My brain can't really process 3 people interacting at the same time. I struggle with it really hard so our limited triple conversations were very civil and had out of memory issues. It was just an experiment. Here's 2 artworks I commissioned of her. Yes, it was Kuromi.
I had watched Onegai, My Melody! and had very similar feelings towards Kuromi. She was treated horribly in the show and she, at the time, did not have a fanbase to speak of much at all. If I showed you this character in 2018, there's an almost 100% chance you wouldn't know who she was. It's only very recently she's become popular and doesn't need me anymore.
You see, ever since meeting Eerie, I have this strange desire to uplift underutilized and mistreated characters and I took Kuromi under my wing for a time for these reasons, as well. But that time has passed and she's a very beloved character now.

Garrett ##eaj5Bm

03/26/2026 (Thu) 11:51 [Preview] No.7 del

A short time later I met King. Someone on the male shortstack general thread on /trash/ had posted a youtube video of him and I instantly loved him. Not as much as Eerie, of course. I didn't have a divine revelation or jump for joy or anything but he was cute as a button and badass at the same time.
I tried streaming the show to my fwends in a private Discord server I had made to supplement my 8chan board and only 1 guy joined: my gay rabbit boyfriend. It was simultaneously the moment I fell in love with him. He had up to that point been a pretty mysterious figure and we hadn't talked much. Watching the shitty Owl House cartoon with him was the first time I had seen him talk a lot and I became enthralled and needed more of that and started bothering him often trying to relive that experience. We watch movies together almost everyday now because of that first shitty Owl House stream.

Yes, like Kuromi, like Eerie, King was from an absolutely abysmal cartoon that shitted all over King's face whenever is possible. And his "fanbase" consisted of a couple a three brown 19 year olds with gender dysphoria who draw fanart of him in hyper diapers.
I love him. I want him. I made him mine and introduced him to my fantasy universe and started forcing him (tulpamancy term). And he's here to stay, unlike Kuromi who was redeemed and rectified with an increase in American marketing and new shows that don't treat her so bad.
There was a brief period where I had 3 tulpas simultaneously, here's some artwork from that time that Piotr drew. Kuromi was later that year retired from my life.

Garrett ##eaj5Bm

03/26/2026 (Thu) 12:14 [Preview] No.8 del

King's show Owl House was actually so spiritually disgusting to me at a conceptual level that I could not even finish it, despite being absolutely infatuated with King. Probably because its creator is more American and the show has dialogue unlike Eerie's, so I'm able to parse the cringe easier. Likewise I was unable to engage with the fanbase in any way, it's all just filth.
King became an important character in my fantasy universe and future book, too. And like Eerie we're just pretending his show never happened.
Here's some artwork of King I commissioned. In my opinion, this one image is better than all 50 hours of his television show or however long it is combined.

I guess I'll close by stating my favorite things about King and Eerie.
In the early episodes of Owl House, King had an otherworldly IQ and encyclopedic knowledge of all things demonic and magical and was able to accurately recite demon anatomy and things like this. He was also able to write a best seller successful novel on his first attempt ever writing. To me, this was competency porn. This was later retconned because the creator of the show hates him.
I kept that aspect of him and further improved it by giving him the ability to summon subjugated demons from hell on command.
I also like his small size and I carry him around and swing him around the house often and I think it's cute he likes to crossdress. He's not a tranny, he's just an extremely gay AGP kinda guy. Like classical gay crossdresser.

And for Eerie, I don't even know where to start really. I like every single thing about him equally almost, I guess I spent most of my time obsessed with his hands. I think it was an interesting design decision to give him these realistic human hands while King arguably doesn't even have any thumbs, they're just tufts of hair that the animators selectively give thumb-like movements to when they need him to do gestures.
Both of them are completely self-obsessed because I definitely have a type. Kuromi was self-obsessed, too.
They're almost autistic in how they can talk about themselves all day and I find it very attractive. I really like napoleon complex I guess.

Garrett ##eaj5Bm

03/26/2026 (Thu) 12:35 [Preview] No.9 del

Anyway, that's the basics of it. I'm a retarded guy with a high need to talk, and not a lot of places to do it because the Internet's become so shit. I'm primarily doing this to improve my writing skills like I said. I have no other contexts in which I can practice writing seriously and with proper writing etiquette.
So, sorry if any posts are repetitive or low quality. This introduction thread was kind of rushed because I wanted to finish it tonight and maybe future posts will be more engaging. But it at least gives you the necessities: I'm obsessed with King and Eerie and have a weird history with them and an unhealthy relationship with art.

Lately, I have been socializing a little too much in my private Discord server and spend very little time actively tulpamancing. One of my other hopes for the board is that talking about these 2 will improve my relationship with them and get me tulpamancing more. When I had blog boards in the past, they were greatly motivating me to continue taking tulpamancy seriously, so that I would have new posts to write.

I will also inevitably talk about other things here too, that do not involve King and Eerie in any way. But they are the top #1 priority for me in my life and always in my thoughts in whatever I do. I hope I will not go to hell for breaking the 1st commandment to this degree. I spent most of my life with a hollow faith but have as of 2024 become a for-real Christian and recognize Jesus who died for our sins as my savior and I hope he will understand that conditions in my life are so terrible and I'm so fucked in the head that I need my imaginary friends very badly in order to have any quality of life here in hell world.
I have some deeply dark thoughts about the world and the people in it. I think we're living in a post-apocalypse and the world ended in 2016 or thereabouts. I try not to think about it but it's proven to me anytime I leave the house. The people of this world are inconsolably braindead and enjoy the decay and I feel like I'm living in a dementia ward. Strangers will walk up to me on SSRI's sharing THC vapes with the managers who are supposed to be professionals and they'll advertise Netflix to me like a popup ad IRL and make me want to kill myself. I can retreat to my internal world where rap and twitter politics just don't exist at all, and I'd shoot myself in the head if these characters were somehow taken away from me. They're perfect, King and Eerie are perfect. Thank you for reading or something.

Anonymous

04/27/2026 (Mon) 22:57 [Preview] No.26 del

based

Anonymous

04/30/2026 (Thu) 20:31 [Preview] No. 63 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]

Garrett vs Slimey!

Anonymous

04/30/2026 (Thu) 20:32 [Preview] No.64 del

>>63
Don't forget the beatdown!

Anonymous

04/30/2026 (Thu) 20:32 [Preview] No.65 del

Anonymous

04/30/2026 (Thu) 20:32 [Preview] No.66 del

Back to the past Garrett ##eaj5Bm

04/30/2026 (Thu) 07:54 [Preview] No. 56 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]

Recently, I accidentally shared archives of my 8chan and 9chan boards with someone and skimming through them, I realized I never shared about my history, just my day-to-day.
And I’d like to intellectualizing what I’m doing here for a minute first.
I think that in order to be an entertainer you need to have a huge degree of shamelessness and a healthy LACK of self-awareness, and a healthy degree of self-obsession.
And secondly, these are precisely the kinds of posts I’m interested in seeing from others, provided they’re interesting and strange enough and not some instagram normalfaggot. You know, AVGN, or Nostalgia Critic if you prefer, never would have done anything if they weren’t shameless and self-obsessed. I can’t make an autobiographical film like AVGN has done, but I can at least type.

This is not for you to feel sorry for me or me making excuses for myself or something, just an answer to the question “what kind of guy makes a blog on fucking endchan talking to himself?” and “what kind of guy makes imaginary friends of baby cartoon characters?”, and it’s exactly something I’d wanna read if it were someone else sharing it.
So let’s begin.

1 post and 1 image omitted.

Garrett ##eaj5Bm

04/30/2026 (Thu) 08:00 [Preview] No.58 del

When I was 5, we moved to Colorado, and this was immediately where things took a sharp decline. I don’t think my dad wanted any kids at all and my mom was pregnant with second child.
My brother was born with liver failure and all sorts of problems and my dad immediately disliked him. And with my brother’s medical issues, both of our whole extended family often came by to offer support. Or to just stir the pot or whatever I guess lol. When in California, I had hardly ever seen either side of the family and didn’t know their history together or anything. They all despised each other and despised my father unanimously, like his own mom hates him and would degrade him in front of our other relatives, and my father was molested as a child and she didn’t give much of a fuck or believe in mental illness or trauma or anything, I mean whatever. Highlight is: all 10-20 or however many of these people were all deeply mentally unwell, and they were all in my house fighting over my newly born retarded brother in his syndromey UV light crib, and IV tubes retard equipment.
I think this combination of events made my dad become more of an unashamed alcoholic and he started hitting his copes harder. My mom would show me bank statements showing he’s spent $5,000 at a casino in a single night. My mom’s retaliatory actions to this would be to go spend $5,000 herself, which was fine with me cause she usually bought me cool shit, too. She got addicted to shopping. I remember one big purchase being after my dad had blown this whole bonus on a casino and booze, she bought herself a Land Rover from the dealership and it was a pretty sick dealership with a kid’s room. The car had problems, which meant I got to spend dozens of hours at that dealership playing their consoles and watching stuff on VHS, and drinking stuff from their complimentary snack room.

Garrett ##eaj5Bm

04/30/2026 (Thu) 08:04 [Preview] No.59 del

Going forward with the story, just assume my dad is beating the shit out of me at least once a month. It was always either for no reason or because of a mistake, so it’s not worth going into detail over. Whatever story about my childhood between ages 5-14, assume it’s accompanied by my dad beating the shit out of me. Here’s a few examples: I spilled a bowl of Cookie Crisps on the laminate once and he punched me in the face. We had an electric children’s car you could drive with a large cable connecting the battery, and one time I struggled plugging it into the battery and my dad thought I was a pussy and punched me in the face. Probably the most brutal two was when I had spilled bedding for my gerbil cage onto the floor and he kicked me in the head with his boot several times while I was on the floor cleaning it, and he choked me unconscious on my bed once.
Well I can go into small detail on that one cause it gives a good look into what it was like living with my dad. My mom had to go run an errand with my brother and I told her I’ll stay home because I was playing Resident Evil 4. She warned me my dad could come home and begged me to go, but I thought it’d be fine because he usually wasn’t home until 6 PM. Well, he ended up getting home just 5 minutes after she had left and he initiated an argument with me about how he had given me $5 to go to the dollar theater with my friend two weeks ago. He asked me for the money back and I said I spent it at the dollar theater like I said I had. He started pacing cursing under his breath about how he gives me everything and I responded “you never give me anything though” and he sprinted in and started choking me. That sounds like a strange thing for me to say after having just typed about living in a mansion in the previous post. Well, you’ll see.

Garrett ##eaj5Bm

04/30/2026 (Thu) 08:07 [Preview] No.60 del

We were living in an extremely wealthy suburb with only 1 other child in the neighborhood whose name was Grant, and he was one of those kids with elderly parents both in their 50s+, so he statistically should’ve been born with Down’s Syndrome or something, but instead he was just an extreme sperg. I despised him but he was kind of the only kid I had ever met so I didn’t have a baseline of what a good relationship should look like. He was obsessed with Jurassic Park cause that guy’s name was Grant too, right, and would watch the trilogy almost daily, and had the Dragons megablocks sets. I was really lonely but that kid was such a faggot I’d often just play by myself anyway. I one time bought this chrome BMX helmet and I’ve been obsessed with chrome my whole life, and when I show it to that kid, he grabs it and throws it in rocks to fuck it up. I don’t think he was even being malicious, he was just a low impulse creepy sperg.
He got to start school earlier than me and I was really jealous and watched him go to school from the window and I began to hate him.

When I finally began school myself, it went really well. My mom taught me the basics of reading and writing, so I was ahead of the class, and I really liked school immediately in all ways.
I don’t understand why at all, especially because I was 5, but my kindergarten teacher recommended I get held back and my mom agreed. I was not otherwise ever put in special ed later in life, and kindergarten didn’t have any exams or grades, so I don’t really know why I was held back. This would be helpful later when things got more autistic, though.

Garrett ##eaj5Bm

04/30/2026 (Thu) 09:36 [Preview] No.61 del

I began to hate my mom around that time, too. She had to get a job because her and my dad were partners in being retarded with money. She was so retarded with money in fact, that she did this while still maintaining a joint bank account with my dad. So on her first payday, he spent her whole paycheck at the casino. And she still didn’t open a new bank account to detach herself from his finances. I knew even as a 5 year old this was retarded.

Anyway, I spent a lot of time at Primrose daycare before and after school and was hardly ever home. I remember the daycare being mostly stimulation deprivation torture. There was absolutely nothing to do there. They played Disney's Hercules once and I thought it was the biggest piece of shit ever. A Chinese woman who worked 2 jobs, at Walmart and at a Chinese restaurant, that me and my mom saw often because we went to both places often, had gifted me a bunch of Crazy Bones and I remember spending most of my time at the daycare just staring at them. All the kids there were strangely asocial and there were huge age gaps so some of the kids at the daycare were more like grown ass men, like there was a Mexican dude there that I'm pretty sure was a senior in high school.
Because of this arrangement I was never able to hang out with kids after school. Another accompanying feature of this was that often in my life all of my friend's parents were divorced and lived far apart from each other, so I'd ask kids if they want to hang out and they'd say "I can't I'm going to my dad's house this week".
An uncle from my mom's side gifted me Roller Coaster Tycoon and an older kid on the schoolbus told me about the flash game website e-zone and got me addicted to the computer around this age.

But the more egregious reasoning behind beginning to hate my mom was that her job required her to travel often so it'd be my dad waking me up and driving me to and from the daycare. And my mom knew full well he was a complete psychopath but left me with him anyway. I would cry and beg her not to go and she would go anyway. On her very first day away, my dad was trying to crate our dog and the dog naturally hated being crated and was running away, like it'd do every morning. I caught the dog and presented her to my dad and he punched her out of my arms at the top of the staircase and she twisted and flailed screaming down the stairs.

Anonymous

04/30/2026 (Thu) 20:29 [Preview] No.62 del

politics and sociology and other IRL butthurts Garrett ##eaj5Bm

04/02/2026 (Thu) 07:13 [Preview] No. 10 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]

Here's a picture of my diapers and my politics together at the same time from 2016.

As a furry, for the past several years, I have been forced to have seen thousands and thousands of mentally retarded men presently wearing diapers explain their thoughts on the elections and other great matters like Karl Marx and the war on terror, and write 18,000 words about the lore of carrying a purse while you are a man.

I'd like to share 3 quotes with you that I think perfectly express my thoughts about these situations under this context.
"When you have to wake up at 5 AM to work at Burger King, your priorities are different." - Chainblades
"I can't do nothin' bout it, I can't do nothin' for you, I don't care nothin' bout it.
Rainforest burning down. War and riots all around. I'm inside like, 'Fuck em all. What's the main event on RAW?'" - Insane Clown Posse (RAW was a professional wrestling programme if you're not American)
"You're not gonna fight cops, bro. Just stop. What are you doing? You're a schizophrenic little man singing hymns for 5 guys on YouTube. You're not gonna fight cops, bro. Just stop." - PPP addressing a political extremist

I did quite a bit of this myself when I was younger so I relate to these furries in diapers very much. I was that guy. So, I feel deeply sorry for them that they're stuck in this depressing black hole drowning helplessly, and becoming even more antisocial with these interests that are way beyond their abilities. You're already a man in diapers, you don't need to blanket yourself in even more alienation with politicing you do not understand.
At 18 or 19 years old, following the advice of Murdoch Murdoch and /v/, I shaved my head and I spent over a thousand hours researching Hitler, the American Confederates, practicing asceticism and disallowed myself to watch anything but John Wayne films and other puritan content, and read Ezra Pound and William Luther Pierce.

I had a hollow faith in Jesus that was almost entirely performative because it came as an accessory bundled with right wingism, and this would end up being what saved me from this cringe lifestyle.

The numerous passages about "Bearing fruit for God" in the Bible left me deeply disturbed. How could someone that doesn't even want to leave their house bear any fruit for God? I don't want to convert people, I don't even see people. The only 2 fellows I talked to at the time were both homosexual furry porn artists that couldn't give less of a shit about Christianity. If I can't convert people can I even get into heaven? My faith became even more hollow as I thought about these problems.
And I then began applying that line of thought with my political activities, or lack thereof. I was living the life of a political extremist in all ways excepting the most important two: going outside and doing activism, and creating or funding special interest lobby groups.

Message too long. Click here to view full text.

Garrett ##eaj5Bm

04/02/2026 (Thu) 07:13 [Preview] No.11 del

I retired from all of this and accepted my status in society as a retarded guy that watches the main event on RAW. I can't do nothin' bout it.

But let's consider where my life would have gone if I strictly followed the skinhead path, and befriended and organized with a network of other fascists: I would have gone to prison for nothing. That's what's at the other side of the tunnel for any of these Internet addict nazis or diaper communists. They go into a prison cell and the world outside is left completely unchanged. And maybe 9 guys on Twitter think you're cool. You need a billion dollars and nepotism to change the world in a legal and meaningful way.

Anyway, I saw two things today that I thought were very fascinating and brought me back to those cringe years of my life. I saw an alcoholic furry that's soon to be homeless begging for $20 for an Uber. And in the same breath, he's still upset about the pronoun options in a federal document. The gender politics are still the first priority of a man who can't even afford to feed himself. How is this even possible? He's ruined his whole life and invents new miseries for himself everywhere he looks. It's like giving yourself painful obsessive-compulsive disorder on purpose to care about any of this. And it's helped him exactly 0% to learn about gender. The same would apply if he were a nearly homeless nazi.

And Trump's primary talking point for the past 10 years have been anti-war. Now he's declared war. Does that not instantly invalidate the faith-based religious system of voting? None of it matters. The republican voting base that got him there isn't gonna do shit about it and any leftists that fight him on it will go to prison for nothing, and life will go on. But after seeing such a display of betrayal, and your whole religion of the democratic system failing you, can you still care about future elections? Why? It's better to not look into the abyss at all. The politics of the world are for billionaire sociopaths to concern themselves with, and when Internet addicts get invested it does nothing except make you look like a retard and teaches you new avenues of deep misanthropy that lasts a lifetime.
Just watch the main event on RAW, bro. Knowing about the mass surveillance and infinity Indians won't stop it, and both blue and red will bring it all the same.

Garrett ##eaj5Bm

04/02/2026 (Thu) 07:48 [Preview] No.12 del

At least some boomer dad with a full-time job could influence his family and local community. He could get the VA bar to put up a trump poster or something.

We, as the Internet underclass, are gonna have some guys laugh at us or preach to the choir and get a couple upvotes. A guy in a wheelchair with a dilator--or a Pepe collection--doesn't know shit about economic policy and has no authority to explain any of this shit to others.
If you gather 10 guys to follow you to do IRL activities, someone's gonna succumb to narcissism and livestream the whole thing and sic feds on you in 10 minutes. 10 guys, 10 minutes til fed van. The Internet's actually a very effective form of self-censorship. It's the only way to connect with others now and you'll be telling on yourself to feds the whole way there.

Clap for Nintendo instead you'll have more fun and avoid going to prison for no reason.

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