>>793425
You forgot to do words

How does he do it?

>>793430
Badly.

>>793425
I like curvy neets. You're perfect just how you are baby.

Womboflix will be playing more of Blue Eye Samurai tonight at 7pm AEDT.

Majestic NEET Execs sauntering and waddling in the fields and meadows of this great land, all who see them in awe of their size and strength.

>>793371
VILE

What's her OF?

Asian Exec Mating Ritual.

I could go for some spagball with garlic breda

>>793444
That was so vile I had to watch it again to see just how vile it was.

dong weed now our gay apple
fa na na fa na na fa fa fa

>>793446
I have 2 apple danishes I forgot to eat yesterday.

Got sacked on me first day of work :(

>>793450
Aboslutely Based
I'm awarding you the honour of neet of the day. For the rest of the thread you may exercise all privileges that come with the title.

>>793446
I heard a rumor a certain Lizbef NEET was making some for his mummybot...

>>793450
woe

>>793450
Could be worse.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=V8ZmOgMlyRE [Embed]

I think that old bastard probably phoned the council to get the scoop about the bins.

>>793456
He'd have the council on speed dial.

>>793457
No doubt.

The NEET Council should take control of all our bins.

>>793442
Those ninjas are wearing girls shoes.

I got stuck behind an elderly German-sounding man at Drakes who had a trolley full of 11L spring water jugs.
He could not understand that the price had gone up. "But they're $8" he kept saying despite it being explained to him that they were $8 but now they're $9.
They had to get two managers in to finally move him on.
He walked out looking bewildered. Some of the life went permanently out of him.

hey gurl ninja or pirate

>>793461
Poor old fella

>>793425
Good Pepe and title.

>>793456
They phone him.

>>793453
kek

>>793467
Hello Mr Oldcunt we were just wondering if you had any complaints for us today?

made two ham, salami, and cheese rolls for lunch
motherbat shared her 600ml feel good! iced coffee with me. it did not make me feel good.

>>793471
Maybe she got the good and you got the feels

>>793458
Favourite song?

>>793471
Its meant to make you feel good!

>>793461
Teh 10L jugs at Coles are only $4.75

>>793461
I feel for him if its dementia, but bottled water is a luxury and I find it funny.

Do NOT look Monk

>>793464
Thank you brother

>>793472
>>793474
it is inferior to even single dare, not to mention double, triple, and quadruple dare

>>793477
I wonder if the exclusion applies to that.

>>793471
You're living in a prison.
First the comments about the table and now this injustice.

Sitting in the middle of three seats, the three easiest to see the tele. Crickets on.

>>793483
I have said it before, he's fine.

>>793482
Motherbat more like Obersturmbannführerbat

>>793484
What's the score?

>>793483
And dont need full cream.

>>793482
And the girl telling him he'll find someone soon lol

>>793487
8/240
Pakis are in.

Trailing by 78

>>793489
Well bantered.

>>793492
Meant for >>793486
I was going to say what you have said was rude and was going to ignore it.

>>793492
Webers garn harumph.

>>793493
I did wonder.

woe'd, having more anxiety about medical stuff, need to do better with what's left of my life

I ate both my danishes but it feels like I only ate one.
They should be bigger.

>>793494
I do apologise for my mistake.

>>793495
The weather is bringing out the brown snakes.

>>793497
Those were for a child that's why. Everything is become child like its in portion.

>>793499
We will only get crumbs soon

>>793496
You can always start tomorrow.

>>793499
A meal should be no bigger than your fist and a correct portion of meat is less than half.
I've been told by a dietician that protein should be two fingers worth.

>>793502
Did he try and eat your fingers?

I am worried about Weber.

>>793502
Vegan propaganda. Don't eat the soy.

>>793464
He literally plagiarised another NEET's post.

I am paranoid about Possum.

>>793503
>he
>eat
Close enough.

>>793504
Did webby ever have those blood tests?

>>793502
>no bigger than your fist and a correct portion of meat is less than half.
Would that fill anyone up?

>>793510
Only a skelly and they don't count.

>>793510
Your stomach stretches to the size of your meals.

>>793506
I was thinking of doing the same tbqh

>>793509
No he is not brave enough to face the results.

>>793513
I was thinking of doing the same tbqh

65gm of meat is more than enough.
Should only be a couple of times a week too.

https://www.eatforhealth.gov.au/food-essentials/how-much-do-we-need-each-day/serve-sizes

I heard a dietician say the correct daily intake of meat was a piece the size of a pack of playing cards.

>>793516
Go to the eatforpleasure section

>>793516
They want us weak and depressed.

>>793517
You could play cards with them and then eat them!

>>793517
About the size of your palm, but people are dumb and thought that meant the size of your hand.

No vegan army has ever won a battle against meat eaters.

>>793517
Obviously a shill who doesn't want you to make gains

>>793523
Who owns our banks?
They've already won.

>>793526
Vegans don't own anything they make NEETs look wealthy

>>793524
that's a big deck of cards

Smelled the hospital food go past. Jealous.
Think its a pasty and a portion controlled juice.

>>793528
NEETs play hard

>>793529
Grab something off the trolley when they aren't looking.

>>793531
They might have a jelly.

>>793532
It can be tricky to grab jelly

>>793529
Are you at hospital?

>>793534
With a client

>>793535
Tell them the mong is hungry and then eat the food yourself

Currently having my 3rd 4th shit of the day

>>793537
So 6th?

>>793537
Your poor ringhole.

>>793539
He should sit on a bag of ice to help with the pain.

>>793540
If I told you you could only finger your bum once a week, youd argue Im infringing on your liberty. You can finger your bum all you like.

>>793536
Smart.

>>793537
It's falling out of you.

>>793543
Can I finger his bum?

>>793542
I don't like app deals.

>>793546
I am looking forward to HP after the moofie tonight.

only faggots go through the drive through wth their fucken phone out and some digital coupon shit fucken gay

>>793491
>>793490
Thanks for the score update brother.

>>793550
Calm down

>>793552
He is very passionate about homosexual drive throughs

>>793553
Hot!

>>793554
He's still on the shitter though.

>>793535
*Participant

>>793531
Anything from the trolley dears?

Partyshitpants

We should hit 1 million posts by the end of next year.

>>793560
That's like about 200 posts a day or something.

>>793561
We've been here 5 years now and done nearly 800k

Gaston Glock died

>>793563
was he jewish?

>>793564
He invented blowjobs

>>793564
No, he was in the Wehrmacht in WWII.

The heating element on my convection oven blew.
I'm going to have to sneak out tonight and put it in the bin.
Cheap shit.

>>793567
Why do you have to sneak?

>>793568
The bin is out on the street. A convection oven is not an appropriate thing to place in a household bin.

>>793569
I cut my old couch up with a saw and put it in the bin over a few weeks

No shortage of skanks on this yacht

>>793551
I left as Aus got back in. Were leading by 50 something

>>793547
Infringe his liberty til he submits to authority.

>>793557
Participant of the ndis sceme, company makes up their own terms.

>>793573
How can we live in a truly equal and just society if a NEET can finger his own bum but not another NEETs?

I have transferred the calamari rings to a saucepan and put them in the normal oven.

>>793576
Well recovered.

>>793575
From each neet according to his own finger, to each neet according to his bumhole.

>>793580
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours bumhole.

Holy shit, Tom Cruise died

>>793582
he did not

Tom Cruise fingered my bumhole once.

weber milk

He is in Heaven with Goose now.

am eat ham

>>793585
Funeral the same day he died. That is efficient.

His rant about psych medications is so fucking based

>>793516
faggot

>>793589
Gotta keep the fans happy.

>>793590
Was that when he jumped over the couch?

>>793591
That is a stuffed and rolled piece of veal, tied with string. Also bigger than a deck of playing cards.

>>793594
I thought it was a bundle of firewood.

>>793594
?

>>793595
Some words have multiple meanings

>>793596
braciole, farsumagru or involtini if you're a wog

>>793597
Scotsman had a wee wee wee.

A Pippa a day keeps the psych ward away.

>>793600
Farsumagru sounds like an insult.

weber?

>>793606
What?

>>793608
He didn't want to share it but he dressed up for you.

He's all shy now.

I think this is all an eleborate plot to get Weber to call him daddy.

he shit in washing machine

Might do something

NK raped a couch I left out for hard rubbish collection.

>>793616
And they say romance is dead

Have we ever shown Fargo? Season 3 would be a good start.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=W_O_ZvS35VM [Embed]

>>793618
I'll put it down on the list

>>793618
I saw one or two episodes of the first season with the hobbit guy in it but didn't go much on it.

Bit smashed
Sweating

>>793569
That snooping neighbour will see.

>>793570
He should put the hearing element in the neighbours bin.

>>793620
Season 3 is good for VM Varga (The clip doesn't give much away)
https://youtube.com/watch?v=zszFkF-i6ZE [Embed]

Gained another kg

>>793623
It might catch fire

>>793576
Not promising.
What sauce?

>>793580
Like a snake eating it's own bum.

>>793625
Do a big poo and you'll be even.

>>793589
When the mothership comes, there will be no second coming.

>>793626
He can call the council

>>793550
It's a two tier economy, either pay more or waste your time.

>>793631
Lol hehehe

>>793630
Is there a higher influence of divinity than UMM PTY LTD?

When I used to live in units somebody wiped the whole row of bins out with their car on bin night once.
It was chaos the police had to block off the road for a bit till it got cleared up.

Weber 😊

might go for a little cruise

I don't like that you use emojis.

>>793639
>>793641
I knew it!

Just say NO to emojis.

Not the face ones please.
Unicode 8 is morllll

>>793642
Hit him with this 👉

>>793572
in the tenis?

I can hear a willy wagtail going off his nut in my yard
Going to investigate

>>793650
might be a snake

>>793651
It was the black cat
I used to like him visiting till I found where he shits in my yard

When I find our where he lives I will shit in his yard

>>793640
Pack of jerky thanks.

>>793650
Be careful.

>>793652
He's got to poo somewhere.

>>793642
🙄

Imagine if Stanley was part Indian

>>793658
We're going to need a bigger frypan

>>793656
Why does he go right under the hot water system though?

Actually to be fair I have not seen the black cat do the poos he could be innocent.

Calling Motherbat 'Dirty Mother Hubbard' and making her fetch me things from the cupboard. She getting upset.

She is trying to watch some British bollocks called Cobra about cyber nuclear war retarded shit.

The last couple of threads have had awful OPs.

>>793667
You need to get out of bed before midday then, son.

might be time to

>>793660
comfy poo zone

>>793672
he ran out of data again

rape

>>793674
it has happened

>>793662
Remember she brought you into this world, and sure as shit she can take you out again.

Tom Smothers died

Tom Tanuki died at Tiffins hands

I wonder if Tom Cruise's career would have gone better if he called himself Wally Whizz

>>793665
kek

Thinking about dog. He would be scared of the thunder.
Talked to his ashes for a bit.

RIP Doggo

He's in doggy heaven licking his balls and sniffing arses and chasing rabbits.

Cruisey pays the BOM to put thunder over the other mong herding companies to terrify the mongs.

>>793692
Based.

What does Weber think of Logitech?

>>793694
Their stuff is reasonable I guess. Depends what you're trying to do.

It feels like it might rain here too

>>793688
He'd be eating buds like a faggot and smashing cloaca.

>>793697
Doin' the old cloaca smacka

>>793650
They are an ominous omen. Be careful.

>>793652
A very ominous omen
.

Does that mean Helen went to doggy heaven?

>>793662
Chortled lol mmm

Dog Heaven is Chicken Hell.

>>793667
We used to employ artists

>>793669
Who stole the banana?

>>793670
>>793671
Well bantered. Worth attempting.

>>793692
haarp arrays to keep them in line.

>>793695
What are you trying to do?

>>793696
Take off your jeans.

>>793711
I'm not wearing any

>>793707
You're meant to spoiler porn

>>793698
Beating yolks.

>>793707
Thanks NEET.

>>793707
Proud of ya bud

>>793708
One sleep to go!

>>793701
She gets fucked to death over and over again. If only she wasn't such a pure soul, she wouldnt get sent back to heaven each time.

>>793703
Lol

>>793719
God hates chickens

>>793707
Delicious. Thank you

Wiped most of the whiteboards clean.
Sober me will appreciate that.

When I ran a chicken farm there was one fuckhuge rooster called Bruce that would run at you if your back was turned and then stop and pretend he wasn't when you turned round.
I used to shoot him with my nerf gun but he started it.

The Gov ain't gonna do shit about those two dead 'Australians' in Lebanon.

Weber why did you take sweetie to a boarding kennel instead of having her there with you and motherbat?

>>793726
Cause she'd pace about all night and we couldn't leave her in a strange house for hours at a time. Tried it last year.

>>793724
You never ran a chicken farm.

He watched that Wallace and grommet movie.

I'm going to blame one of you for something soon.

>>793730
I bet you're gonna blame possum

>>793732
The sauce to pasta ratio is wrong. I'm sorry I won't be having any.
I'm going to Sizzler instead.

>>793733
It was fine once I mixed it all in.

>>793732
they look lovely neet, are those the sort which have cheese inside them?

>>793707
looks good

>>793735
The meatballs? No, they are just a mix of veal and pork.
The sauce was a Dolmio red wine and garlic and onion (or something).
The pasta was a Barilla spaghettini 5 minootie one.

>>793723
Well done.

>>793732
Nice.

>>793734
Pick me up and take me to Sizzlers.

>>793740
They don't exist anymore here, NEET.
You'd just fill up on potato skins and not eat your main course anyway.

>>793740
You're too big a boy to get picked up now NEET.

>>793733
>Sizzler
Ah man, I loved going there when I was a kid, when they had the all you could eat salad bar. Greatly saddened to hear that they closed.

>>793742
I'm just...I have a heavy build, that's all.

>>793732
Papa Giuseppe! That's a good neetball

I bet they have been laughing every time they look out their window and see my bins.

Do neets want to see one or two episodes of Blue Eye Samurai tonight?

>>793746
They will put you on the local facebook group next.

>>793724
You have to beat the biggest cock.

>>793733
You demand too much

>>793747
Show me that cartoon hapa smoo

>>793749
Having a big cock coming at you from behind in the dark can be a suprise.

Motherbat liked her pasta. She put fresh parmesan cheese on hers.

>>793744
Lets just say we wouldn't like to try and burp you.

>>793754
Good, well done you may well win your good son award back yet.

I can see him finally building up the courage to put it out and a big downpour appears, then he needs to wait by the bin until it passes

>>793752
Not to the well rehearsed

>>793754
How much garlic was there?

I bet Motherbat likes enough garlic to kill a vampire.

>>793760
It wasn't a detectable or overbearing amount in the sauce. The garlic bread obviously had some.

>>793761
Not as such, she cleans her teef religiously and worries about bad breathe etc.

>>793761
>>793762
Did she comment about the garlic?

>>793763
No. After she has her magnum ice cream and her coffee she will go and clean her teeth.

>>793757
The sky gods fuck with NEETs for their amusement

>>793737
>The sauce was a Dolmio
Cannot stand that Dolmio family. Eating our human food with their revolting felt mouths

>>793767
You're banned.

>>793766
They look like a wog fucked a muppet.

>>793767
A nuro a day keeps the boat people away

>>793767
Based.

Blue Eye Samurai will be on womboflix in 1 hour neets. https://cytu.be/r/womboflix

Golden Brown is about a perfectly cooked garlic bread. Not heroin or women as oft conjectured.

>>793770
>>793771
Double Based. How we doin lads. Did a big clean up today. Two full van loads to the dump. Feels good man.

The mallard reaction.

>>793776
>Two full van loads to the dump.
They were terrible records.

>>793764
Have you cleared her a place at the table yet?

>>793780
yeah just put the stuff in her 1 foot square on top of the stuff next to her

>>793781
That fulfills the terms of the request.

>>793732
Simply superb
Bloody brilliant
Absolutely amazing

>>793778
Poooooorly Ban Tarred

>>793782
I'll sort it out properly tomorrow. For sure.

>>793778
He should have sold them on Discogs.

Why wasn't Nuro asked to skipper a boat for the Sydney to Hobart? A most grievous oversight.

>>793787
He was asked he was just too busy setting up 8chan for hotwheels at the time

>>793783
Fantastic faggots
Lovely linguine

>>793775
It is a very good song either way.

>>793787
The silver fox undoubtably has dangerous covert operations he has to undertake for alex jones or elon musk, he has no time for yacht racing at an event he's already won multiple times before.

>>793791
Who needs a yacht when you can whizz on water anyway?

>>793793
Do they have Gandalf on bass?

>>793792
True.

>>793794
Yes. I think Billy Strings is dressed as Frodo or Bilbo.

>>793796
Ah, of course, that's kind of cool.

Oh god they fuck the guitar solo really badly

>>793798
Billy just does his own thing. It's relatively rare for him to fuck about with electric guitars.

>>793800
Fair enough it just set my autism off I'd enjoyed it up till then.

>>793767
I get it, the smell of dogshit in the air reminds you of home. Based...

>>793801
https://youtube.com/watch?v=B6IB5oE6YA0 [Embed]
here's a bluegrass standard where he starts off having forgotten to tune his guitar down and does it on the fly

>>793787
I was busy doing fucking nothing. I told those boaties to fuck off.

lights flickering
big thunder dunder

>>793803
That is quite impressive

Exchanged words with an e-scooter retard who had the temerity to ding his bell at me twice on a long uphill. The first time I immediately went full power to the top but on the way down he dinged again because I go slow and safe past the hazards. I didnt even turn round but he passes when the path opened up and keeps mouthing off so I put him behind me again and he is still trying to have a go when I stop at the shops. He asked me for feedback on his ride so I give him some well deserved scorn and he scoots off in tears. These kids on their toys dont realize the bike path is a arena where heroes like me will battle all comers for the sake of glory and e-scoonies are at the bottom of the food chain.

>>793808
Way too coherent

>>793803
this music makes me want to get drunk in a barn

>>793810
Bluegrass is almost always happy music. The upbeat stuff makes me feel like Forrest Gump being chased by rednecks in a pickup truck.

>>793808
>These kids on their toys dont realize the bike path is a arena where heroes like me
Based.

>>793811
Kek, yes that is the exact vibe.

>>793808
never happened

>>793811
it makes me want to squeal like a pig

>>793815
Hot!

>>793815
I'll canoe you boy

Got breathoed by the drug bus. Had just washed my mouth out with listerine too. Was absolutely shitting myself. Adrenaline pulsing through my veins

>>793818
Did they bust you for adrenaline?

Found a lost mong in the bad home area, eventually got through to JUST.ltd

As usual the JUST manager at JUST.ltd had no idea their mong was loose, panicked, thought we had abducted the mong, eventually had to conceed that as we already had their mong we might as well return the mong to JUST.ltd by taxi.

The mong was totally fine and apparently got to the bad home area in exactly the same way we sent them back. God protects mongs and lost horses.

If I was a redneck in a pickup truck I would chase Forrest.
It seems natural.

>>793818
All clear?

I love ego caramel magnums

>>793825
Fuck you and your webp

>>793828
Language!

i drink the piss of fentanyl addicts

>>793827
Motherbat only got plain ones.

>>793827
I'm more of a frozen snickers man myself, but I dig the caramel part.

>>793821
Do you get a reward for returning lost mongs?