/b/ - Random

Anything posted here are autistic works of fiction, only a fool would take them seriously.

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/degenerate/ Anonymous 08/19/2017 (Sat) 15:47:09 [Preview] No. 12815 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
I've heard a little bit about "chicken hypnotism". It works with either roosters or hens, and it basically involves putting a chicken on the ground lying on its back. That's all there is to it, and the chicken will be completely still until you make a loud noise or give the bird a gentle shove to wake it up. What I'm wondering is if anyone's ever washed the bird's feet, and then articulated them into giving a chicken footjob? Busting a load on the fluffy chest and belly feathers.

Anonymous 08/19/2017 (Sat) 15:53:07 [Preview] No. 12816 del
because it wouldn't surprise me if the people on cuckchan /an/ dabbled in chicken fuckery.

Anonymous 08/19/2017 (Sat) 15:54:34 [Preview] No. 12817 del
I mean, "people"

feels thread Anonymous 03/18/2017 (Sat) 15:51:59 [Preview] No. 11548 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
This is the end, right? then i will confess something, i still love her, i've gotten a life, job, gf, sex, videogames, friends... but she's still missing, i was hoping that somehow when i had a normal life, the feels would go away, but they didn't, i don't give a fuck about anything right now, i want to hug her, it's horrible, like every nice thought of us being together is followed by a million sharp needles, knowing it won't ever happen, i hate it, i have to hold my tears at my job, at home, and if i ever met her again i will have to pretend that i don't love her anymore because showing any hint of it could get me in trouble, it hurts.

And to thing that i haven't been this much of a FFFFEGET for 4 or 5 years, god, i miss not being in love.
33 posts and 27 images omitted.

Anonymous 06/25/2017 (Sun) 08:16:37 [Preview] No. 12336 del
i have this theory, this thing i call the "existential cage", in which i'm trapped between shitty memories and the seemingly hopeless future, on the other hand, i think i'm advancing, now i'm missing the NEXT ex-gf (who was the last one i had)

Anonymous 06/26/2017 (Mon) 10:30:51 [Preview] No. 12350 del
(23.15 MB 1280x720 Barakamon OP.webm)

(I learned that from an anime.)

Anonymous 07/01/2017 (Sat) 12:53:51 [Preview] No. 12406 del
god dammit i miss that next girl... i hope one of my summer dates turns out right, im tired of being sad

Anonymous 08/15/2017 (Tue) 16:12:57 [Preview] No. 12736 del
the dates... they didn't turn out well, maybe because there weren't any dates at all, and summer is almost over, this is sad

Anonymous 08/19/2017 (Sat) 10:49:57 [Preview] No. 12812 del
After people complain and say we're retrograde if we support separate school for boys and girls.

If the schools were still separated, none of these bullshit would happen. You should be just with your bros, focusing and school, and certainly not lusting around and wanting so badly anyone of them.
They stopped this system for a reason. If girls are more favored in college, there is a reason.

The secret my bros, is that we live in a woman's world. The whole society is in fact turned towards womens. The immediacy, the new social order, sentimentalism are definitively womens characteristics. The secret is that the whole feminists saying that womens have less right and are oppressed is in fact not just false, but it's the opposite.

What is the cause? Definitively the corruption of our fathers. We are the cause. If you want to change this shit system, you first have uncorrupted ourself, and be real men. And that my bros, is a very complicated path. You have to counter your own fathers influence, you have to search and know what a true man is. You have to not let your drown in the womens centered society. Not easy. You have to do better than your fathers, and that very complicated. If our fathers fell, and got corrupt, there is a reason. They're not just bad, or idiots.

Anonymous 07/25/2017 (Tue) 13:59:18 [Preview] No. 12630 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
While I was cleaning out my great grandfather's room the other day I found his journal. Several parts are in Chinese and most of the rest is in English but riddled with grammatical and spelling mistakes. I'll summarise it in greentext for you faggots if you like.
>be 1965
>be my grandfather's brother
>shouldn't have bought a TV
>whole clan's coming to watch a government announcement with me despite their not speaking English
>and they expect me to translate
>Lee Kuan Yew is about to make an important proclamation one that according to the Straits times will be about declaring independence from Malaysia and becoming a country on our own
>nothappening.jpg when he is about to pave over Singapore's agricultural land
>regular news about football or the lottery or some shit until the anchor airs LKY's announcement in full
>"I have met with the Tunku, and he seems a pleasant fellow,
>He has granted to me certain amendments in the Constitution that will pare down, but not eliminate, the privileges of Malays in the federation,
>And Singapore will continue to be a state of Malaysia.
>As a result I will liquidate the assets of the PAP and merge it with the UMNO."
>shouts, whispers of betrayal secrete from the assembled tongues
>my brother summarises this most astutely
>"We thought he had no brains in actuality he has no balls"
>everyone is clamoring to provide reasons for why he fell for a fucking election stunt

Message too long. Click here to view full text.

6 posts omitted.

Anonymous 08/01/2017 (Tue) 23:14:45 [Preview] No. 12681 del
Lmao don't they censor the fuck out of your country. You guys have oppressive Chinese style firewalls right? I went there and everyone was afraid to say anything that would upset the Mudslimes or the ruling family behind the government, and the average Singaporean comments denouncing Amos Yee's right to free speech on all the news portals were retarded. Tbh, if that's the common view in Singapore then I don't like the people there, because I hate politically correct speech limitations.

Anonymous 08/03/2017 (Thu) 17:08:10 [Preview] No. 12699 del
>Lmao don't they censor the fuck out of your country. You guys have oppressive Chinese style firewalls right? I went there and everyone was afraid to say anything that would upset the Mudslimes or the ruling family behind the government, and the average Singaporean comments denouncing Amos Yee's right to free speech on all the news portals were retarded. Tbh, if that's the common view in Singapore then I don't like the people there, because I hate politically correct speech limitations.

What part of "Note: this is an alternate history" did you fail to see or understand?

Anonymous 08/16/2017 (Wed) 04:29:09 [Preview] No. 12740 del
(5.52 MB 352x640 based singapore.mp4)

Anonymous 08/16/2017 (Wed) 13:14:58 [Preview] No. 12742 del
>I am losing my patience with you
>If you don't know how to operate this machine get out and let other people use it
>Where did you come frooom? Which country are you froooom?
Kek, I just love the way he speaks.

Anonymous 08/19/2017 (Sat) 10:32:35 [Preview] No. 12811 del
So ramdom guy insult some random people on the street


AZN DRONES Anonymous 08/17/2017 (Thu) 06:15:10 [Preview] No. 12744 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
>be me
>pay 500 bucks to reserve a night in the path of the solar eclipse for uncle in law and his kids
>They cancel
>I ask why?
>"Our boys said they don't want to miss two days of school."
>but...the eclipse is once in a lifetime. They don't really know what an eclipse is, you shouldn't let them dictate to you just because they don't want to go on a road trip to another state.
>"Yeah, but school is more important."
>but they'll dee the eclipse, get interested in science and then be more interested in science classes at school.
>"It's ok, they got awards for perfect attendance last year and don't want to mess it up."

Fucking Asian Americans.

Anonymous 08/17/2017 (Thu) 07:15:04 [Preview] No. 12745 del
Serves you right for trying to help others. I hope you learned your lesson.

Anonymous 08/19/2017 (Sat) 06:32:52 [Preview] No. 12806 del
I'm in Eugene for the eclipse too. It's suuuuuupeer hippie here, the anti-pol. Guys wear Batman masks and bike by, bums with guitars, smokers everywhere, hippy rainbow t shirts, stoners, women dress like dykes with ripped short-shorts and dyed hair, haven't seen a single person wearing a suit, and new age decor is everywhere.

Anonymous 08/19/2017 (Sat) 07:52:42 [Preview] No. 12807 del
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Anonymous 08/19/2017 (Sat) 10:24:48 [Preview] No. 12808 del
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That's nearly cringy. What fucking retards.
I'm no communist, but this... It's like they want to be exploited.

Anonymous 08/25/2017 (Fri) 12:28:09 [Preview] No. 12862 del

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Anonymous 07/05/2017 (Wed) 14:52:00 [Preview] No. 12521 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
>beautifully applied a new screen protector
>it's fucking crystal, flawless, dustless perfection
>completely bricks the touchscreen
>remove, reapply
>touchscreen works, it's also a fucking toupé of maggots and salmonella

god fuck shitting damn low concentration electroconductivity

Anonymous 08/18/2017 (Fri) 05:54:04 [Preview] No. 12799 del
(1.36 MB 960x540 stroke.gif)
>beautifully installed a new 1080 Ti
>it's fucking 4K, 120 hz, G-sync perfection
>completely loses the signal
>remove, reseat
>output works, can only play Crysis at 420 fps

god fuck shitting damn low concentration pixel density

Anonymous 08/19/2017 (Sat) 04:32:27 [Preview] No. 12805 del
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(57.81 KB 979x676 Whereisb.jpg)
(9.39 MB 960x540 8chandatamining.Webm)
8chan/8ch.net's /b/ is DOWN!! Anonymous 08/17/2017 (Thu) 12:32:51 [Preview] No. 12775 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
I go on fuckboy Jim's website for shits and giggles this morning and /b/ is nowhere to be found! Did Jim have a temper tantrum? Is it just a prank Did the feds crash /b What the hell happened?

Anonymous 08/17/2017 (Thu) 15:18:07 [Preview] No. 12776 del
faggit flags

/loli/ Anonymous 08/01/2017 (Tue) 20:15:28 [Preview] No. 12680 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
Would anyone anons like to be a moderator of >>>/loli/ ?

It's basically dead board, but some opportunistic FBIhoneypotters keep spamming it with links to websites that I assume are dangerous and illegal. I don't login enough to quickly delete that shit. Since the board is deader than Elvis, there is little risk in handing the responsibility to anyone.

Oh and if you're a pompous jackass who doesn't respect free speech don't bother. I don't want another AllTheFallen hugbox or 8/loli that bans everyone when argumemts get heated.

Post your account name and I'll transfer moderation priveldges to at least one of you.

Anonymous 08/11/2017 (Fri) 22:19:29 [Preview] No. 12730 del
I would be interested to look over this lovely board and handle it with my utmost care. I really would love to have some power to remove unnecessary spam, however, many are saying that removing spam itself is an act against freespeech. I do want to point out that this site has some global rules that affect every single board.

Anonymous 08/15/2017 (Tue) 22:53:34 [Preview] No. 12737 del
Make a username on this site you can login to and I will make you a mod.

Anonymous 08/16/2017 (Wed) 00:06:39 [Preview] No. 12739 del
OP says Elvis is dead, trusteth him not.

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Behind The Meme Anonymous 08/10/2017 (Thu) 17:49:24 [Preview] No. 12728 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
Hullo Internet,
Today we have a look at, my faggotry.

Anonymous 08/10/2017 (Thu) 23:20:17 [Preview] No. 12729 del
we're raiding them here

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Anonymous 08/09/2017 (Wed) 05:17:18 [Preview] No. 12723 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
I just can't do it guys, I'm just too weak... SUMANAI.

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Solar Anonymous 08/08/2017 (Tue) 05:45:02 [Preview] No. 12721 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
So do any you guys know, where the autopsy reports of the columbine killers and or victims could be found? I'm honestly curious to to read the reports.