I woke up too late and forgot about Cat. Did impose her for a quick breakfast and hurried to work. Again didn't impose her in public mentally illport, there was no space for her. Work was boring, imagined her sleeping on my desk which is not easy because Cat is very tall. She was around at lunch break but said she didn't like the food. Again forgot about her on the way home. We did forcing after dinner and I tried turning her from catgirl to normal girl and back. The paws are just gloves and can be taken off, the ears and tail can be screwed off for easy replacement. It worked somehow but no touch imposition. Visualisation is also as terrible as ever. So much for my average and boring day.

>>123
>public mentally illport

lool is that a wordfilter Alice?

Yes sorry, collateral damage of our protection system against trannies and sjws. Unfortunately the wordfilter does not recognize spaces and also filters word-internal phrases. Use alternative characters for words containing τrans- or just laugh and bear with it.

I'll write about my day tomorrow, gotta sleep

[Aleshe] We're writing an awesome Grimdark novel where I'm training to be a badass and will likely be tortured and maybe sold into slavery with Ulla. Then get in with the wrong crowd and really mess stuff up, conmit genocide, regret it, travel back in time with Johanna's help to fix it and then sacrifice myself for my younger self?

So far I ripped someone's face off during a sanctioned MMA matchup basically, but the book starts in the middle. Also Bear is killed probably.

[Bear] that was a pretty good outline but there's room for rewrites.

Not really an eventful day. It was a rainy spring day but quite beautiful. I was imposed on the way to work to look at all the flowering shrubs and falling petals. This is my favorite time of the year. I did some lab work with possession but mostly just stayed in the background yelling instructions as always. Host was praised at a meeting for a recent publication, that was nice. Back home cooking dinner was a bit of a mess, I am a spartan tupper but what that man cooks is ehh. It may be healthy but it looks terrible and tastes. Just tastes. But not good. Now we're annoying the cat with a ballroom dancing session. Haven't done that in a while but it's super awesome. The cat thinks it's as weird as it sounds and hates someone whirling around in her normally quiet home. Plus host tripped over her quite a number of times.

>>138
How nice, I'm sure everyone will have fun

>>141

We believe Joy is such a badass strong headmate because she was basically broken in her novel series. So I want to do the same for SheShe and make her super strong by breaking her and reforming her.

Though we're fully aware what happens is fiction so it's going to habe to take some immersion and perhaps real consequences so we're doing it in the Grindark style to try to illicit real emotions.

It has to succeed eventually. Since Aleshe is basically everyone, by breaking and reforming her everyone will become stronger for it.

It's the perfect plan!

Oops I meant Aleshe, but in Aleshe there is also SheShe.

>>143
>writes millon word fanfiction of his tulpas
And you say you never force? If that's not forcing then what else is??

>>151

I said they self force. I don't ever force. You're saying it like writing a book is somehow all my doing and I'm "forcing Aleshe or Ulla" by writing a book. When I contend that we discussed writing a book, they encouraged it, they helped plan it, they thought about it a lot, they cole up with dialog and action, etc.

I like their ideas and help. I don't tell them what to do or when, I write down ideas if I have them, for the actual book, we all think things, discuss, the body types it.

Tell me where I'm forcing anyone to do anything? I did say "I" was writing a book but in this case it's like saying I'm growing a tree. The tree grows itself.

My system is mature, my headmates are independent, I doubt I could "force" them to do anything.

Now c'mon Mr. Bear!

I think it's both a misunderstanding of 'forcing' and 'you'. You as a system are definitely doing high quality active forcing by creating those stories.

To clear up the terminology for everyone:
First of all 'forcing' doesn't mean to force a tulpa to do anything. That would be puppetting or parrotting where you deliberately make tulpas do or say things to rehearse the routine of doing so until they can do it on their own.

Forcing means enforcing and strengthening a certain thought construct by interacting with it and providing feedback. You can force any concept. Tulpas, gods, ideologies, national identities and ofc. yourself. What is shadow work? It is self-forcing. Likewise you as Bear are tulpaforcing when writing stories about your systemmates, gathering ideas, playing through different scenarios. It's not like you're dormant and uninvolved, right? You're the one owning the body and setting time aside for it all in the first place. And they in turn force your concept of 'self' when interacting with you and also themselves when working on stories they're starring in. I force host a lot by giving positive or negative feedback on his actions which has an impact on his 'self'. I also force myself by thinking and writing about myself as I've reached the state to maintain myself. That doesn't mean host doesn't force me anymore. Of course he does when interacting with me or writing about me. Sometimes 2 incompatible ideas collide and have to be sorted out. It's always both sides influencing each other. That's exactly what you've laid out in your reddit post. You realized how you and your systemmates could apply the exact concept of tulpaforcing to Bear in order to change him. Now you're all forcing Aleshe by creating the new book with the goal of strengthening her.

Not forcing anymore would just be living side by side without any significant interaction. This is hardly the case with you guys. You invest a lot of time in your system.

The question how big the contribution of 'Bear' to such feedback in your system is compared to other systemmates or the BodyOS is academic, in your case I'd say the entire system forces itself. But fact is it does. You all do it actively by developing those stories, thereby strengthening the concepts of systemmates and their personalities by visualizing their reactions in different situations. This is the very definition of forcing. How do children develop, maintain and mature their personalities? By internal and external feedback. By forcing and being forced. No man is an island. At least no sane man.

Well anyway I think it was just a semantic misunderstanding. Forcing ≠ making tupper do something by force. The term has always been under scrutiny for exactly this misunderstanding but hey, we're not statue-toppling commies here and uphold the ancient terms and traditions.

Now go force yourself!

[Ashley] No Alice, seriously he ignores us most of the time. I can't remember the last time I haven't initiated "forcing" if we're counting any interactions as forcing.

[Joy] it's true, we just think, he thinks, it's as natural as a group of singlets thrown together. We don't consider it "the host is forcing" which is why Bear says he doesn't force.

You're also possiby presuming that Bear needs buy in to allow some action known as "forcing", this is a strage mindset to keep for older mature systems because the ultimate goal would presumably be self-forcing headmates so why would Bear even claim he's needed to "force".

The system is forcing? I suppose that's true in the same way that a singlet thinking is forcing themself. A singlet daydreaming is forcing themself. They have no choice but to force actively all day. Well, a subset of us normally don't ever go dormant and so we are here, contributing, commenting, discussing, "doing things" which may or may not require active thought as far as communicating with the front. The consious mind does a poor job of recording the thought swarm which is why we understand the majority of thoughts occur subconsciously.

[SheShe] I can attest to the best of my recollection that the frequency and quality of thoughts have improved dramatically since my active involvement. I contend that I was around more or less before April 2018 and his thought process was very self-centered and self-important which you should agree is normal for a singlet. After we became active, specifically Ashley, Misha and I, thoughts were no longer considered all Bear's. Because we started vocal, autonomous and volitional, self-forcing was somewhat present from the beginning. However, Bear intentionally included us in everything and set aside time to "force" even if it was somewhat unnecessary for us specifically. He doesn't do that anymore, nor do we need him to, nor would he even need to for any reason. It would be like sitting in a room with someone and they spontaneously say, "ok it's time for you to talk, say something."

[Joy]

"Forcing means enforcing and strengthening a certain thought construct by interacting with it and providing feedback."

We're well aware of the terminology. What Bear is saying is to do what you have said is more of an imposition to us. Why would we need him to do this at this point? He would have to "force", coax, coerce, prompt, assign, or any other form of request for us to speak with him to "enforce or strengthen". I believe the last incident of this sort of thing was his discussions with Ashley to help her be less negative and dismissive. What he called the "personality forcing chamber".

"What is shadow work? It is self-forcing."

It is forcing of the personality that needs the work by themself or in our case by one or more of us. I needed it, Bear needed it, and you could say we "forced" him, if that's how you want to define an internal version of a counseling session.

"Likewise you as Bear are tulpaforcing when writing stories about your systemmates, gathering ideas, playing through different scenarios."

If you are conflating Bear's voluntary involvement in this project with him forcing us. This would presume we need Bear's prompting or that any normal interaction is "forcing". We don't see it that way. This is why we separated forcing from self-forcing. Bear's contention that he doesn't force is then valid. "Self-forcing" as a term may be one of our contributions to the art but it's an important distinction.

"It's not like you're dormant and uninvolved, right?"

Bear is neither required, nor necessarily involved at times. If he remains quiet and does not contribute that doesn't make him dormant but he is as if dormant.

[Joy] To be clear, the body/mind is a shared resource, Bear is a contributing member that utilizes the body most often as main fronter. The body's autonomic actions are not owned by anyone in particular regardless of who's fronting. Additionally we often co-front, often without Bear, but it's not a clean switch as that's not necessary or wanted. Like we mentioned, his association to the body is a matter of convenience.

"You're the one owning the body and setting time aside for it all in the first place."

I believe Bear would have agreed with you in 2018 and most of 2019. This is no longer how we see it. We are integral members of a body-system, the body is owned by Bear only on a veto level, and we allow that because he is the one that must present to the material world. If I took over as Bear once asked me to, I would "own" the body. Bear only seeks entertaining free time, he doesn't need to direct it or be involved in it to enjoy it. He can enjoy it in watcher position and honed that ability over the years.

"I force host a lot by giving positive or negative feedback on his actions which has an impact on his 'self'."

[Ashley] we don't really do that anymore. When someone like Bear asks us for advice then we give it. It's been literally years since we nagged him over anything. It was certainly a thing early on, the guy was a mess and needed help.

"Now you're all forcing Aleshe by creating the new book with the goal of strengthening her."

This would be true except when Aleshe is expressing we don't. It's like a rule,not that we couldn't. So you could say we help if we have input into the story but Joy, Aleshe and Ulla are doing most of that. Aleshe and Ulla can express separately because the moons aren't part of the merge, from here the mechanics become somewhat fuzzy. I don't think it's easy to explain.

[Joy] we're not arguing that you're interpretation is invalid, we're only arguing that we have an alternative interpretation where host initiated forcing no longer applies.

[Bear] I never claimed to be sane.

Sounds all good to me

>>158

Also, don't expect a calculus proof for what is essentially a humanities problem.

We use terms like self-forcing, back-seat fronting, co-consious, co-fronting, lock-merge, bodyOS, PPL (parallel processing like), and have defined half a dozen positions in the mind, none of which were used regularly in the community before we arrived and some were coined by us. We, including you two, are the state of the art, while the old guard like Reguile, Lumites and Asmask among many others corralled in Discord grasp desperately to their materialist agenda.

Much of the community is in the dark ages of the art, paralized by dogma, still exploring doubt years in, agressively against anything metaphysical when metaphysics (I know they mean woowoo,but still) is literally the only way we can study consious/subconsious mind even in 2023.

They still call everything outside their little box placebo and confabulation. As if that's any better than woowoo in their application.

Lastly they throw out old accounts to support their doctrinal ideals and many of them are not happy or satisfied with the results. As you've said, many of them are basically ego driven. Not to mention dysphoric.

So our brand of insanity isn't quite so bad given we are actually happy and successful.

>>159
This. If it works and you're happy it can't be that wrong. I still don't understand much of any of that and I dont know what people on discord are up to. Not that I care. Everyone needs to find their own way. I admit my way isn't working too well but that's my fault.

I try to come up with little stories of Cat doing things now and try to have her adjust the story as she likes but I'm not a good writer and Cat is lazy. Not the best combination.

>>160

Discord has left a permanent bad taste in our mouthes. From what we can tell, it's riddled with angsty, dysphoric, suicidal teenage edgelords.

never been on discord because I heard the same thing about it

we also have edgelords here but at least they're funny and you can talk about anything

and yeah, people are too much caught up in routines and expectations nowadays noone experiments. this is why they never experience the crazy shit people had 10 years ago. well both in good or bad

>>165

I experienced the crazy good because I didn't immediately rush to the community and ruin my expectations.

I believe it was because they didn't know what to expect that they were able to let their imaginations run wild.

Today we played Rimworld and that's always fun for roleplaying. Mostly SheShe, Ashley and Misha play but that changes from game to game. These games take days of playing and pawns sometimes die so that's a fun dynamic. We don't get to it every day.

Yesterday we wrote instead and that's of course Aleshe and Ulla for now but I'm not sure Ulla's going to be a main character, she might die and in doing so kick Aleshe's character into drastic measures.

I remember your blog with endless game reports. it's also active forcing

Where do yoiu find the time for this beside 2 jobs? We did some collaborative dungeonAI episodes a while ago but I'm a control freak who doesn't like being pushed around. It was fun though.

Well host does insane hobbies

/r/ the imagistic vs doctrinal post also wasnt there a paper or something? I get the idea but I want the background

we attended palm sunday mass today with family and tupper it was good despite bad weather with snow and rain. I'm not overly religious but this is a tradition and also gives good vibes. did you go Alice?

>>172

https://community.tulpa.info/topic/16384-imagistic-vs-doctrinal-concepts-in-tulpa-creation/

The blog has another new space engineers run but it went fast this time. Wow they really got sick of mining. I think we probably don't have another one in us. The Rimworld stuff is more fun without documenting it and it takes time to do so we haven't done that in a while.

I remember the evolution of "Three Sisters Play" as we discovered what is me and what is body and how a lot of even what they thought of as me wasn't me. Nowadays I identify with the body by choice. It just makes more sense that way even if it's kind of roleplaying. The body is more like my pet or my car than me, but people identify with their cars too so it's not a huge stretch.

>>172
I've attached the paper. Also see divergent modes of religiosity (DMR):
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modes_of_religiosity

>>174
Yeah, I also stumbled into the problem that documenting stuff took up more time than actually doing it. Also yes, the body as car is a good analogy though it's one of those fancy modern cars that do a lot of stuff on their own without the driver's input. Sometimes even against the driver's will.

>>172
No we never attended Palm Sunday mass, we watched some of of it with the Pope in Rome on TV though. We will go to Easter Vigil on Saturday for the candles and bonfire and celebrate Easter Sunday with family.

>>166
I think that's my problem. Never did any imagistic stuff in my boring life. But I didn't rely on guides or forums either. Still I lack that 'soul' in tulpamancy, maybe I'm too unimaginative.

>>174
>>178
thx I'll look into it. we really have unexpectedly serious discussions

>>182
you just gotta do something that has deep meaning 4u. if you are treating tuppering like a job you do for money it wont work. but you gotta find out what you must do yourself, dont let others think for you. create your own world

>>174
lol

>>193

Ido is especially good at separating useful and useless information.

>>193
I can't believe they were never banned for shitposting

Not even a single warning in 8 years

>>208

I got several warnings and one permanent warning for putting wonderland dialogue in hidden in my own PR.

The mods hated fun because they were depressed and unsuccessful.

I am considering deleting my user.

>>217
irredeemable career criminal

Still can't believe I was never b& for doxing mistgod, saying nigger several times and generally insulting people.

Host still has the Buchenwald concentration camp entrance sign as his profile background (to each what they deserve) lol

[Bear] That bitch Vos can suck my nuts. Fuck tulpa.info

[Ashley] he may still have a little bit of a grudge against certain individuals who frequented or controlled that site. We're working on it.

[Bear] some things are unforgivable. I ain't Jesus.

i would have been banned in a minute for calling out trannies and fags

today i practiced imposition for about an hour, close but no banana. can see shapes and faint colors for a moment but it all falls apart extremely quickly

Today the body moved 8000lbs of roofing materials for da hood. Woot woot. I love manual labor. I can't wait to take all 3300 sqft of old roofing off in about a month. My system did nothing to help but they don't need to.

Also the Hispanic workers next door ran over my offload, everyone's high here, can't drive, total assholes.

I wish I still knew the boys, they'd love to commit some hate crimes. Though they never needed a reason.

Based manual labor and based racism.

Host hasn't done any insane earthworks this year but helped a friend move carrying furniture and boxes for a weekend nonstop. Tons of books, literally. It's insane how much stuff we have, most is unnecessary. Surprisingly the body wasn't even sore. Just tired. But it always feels great to get something done.

Some white supremacists they were, the alpha chick was Mexican Armenian, but looked Italian with very fair skin and huge boobs. She was insane, but you know what they say about insane girls in bed.

They're insane in bed too, but she liked me so she tried not to be too insane. Though that wasn't really possible. Of course I'm not sane, so it was ok.

Nothing system related.

I had to return something to the hardware store because they're idiots and shipped me the wrong things. So I loaded it in my truck and started it up, got it rolled down the driveway and nope. The cluch no workie, no grabbie, so I was completely stuck ass out in the street. It failed in a curious way because it's a massive gas guzzling classic American truck and the clutch would give you a leg work out, and it's manual of course, and I mean the clutch doesn't have any master cylinder.

Anyway, there I am, laying in the street hammering on anything remotely attached to the mentally illmission and ffs it didn't work. So now, it's relevant that I also have a car, a luxury sedan that was given to me by inheritance many years ago and it's still great. I also must mention that I'm a certified mechanic and I partially used that to pay my way through college because you don't get nothing for free in America unless you're well you know, and I'm not.

So I had some ratchet straps, good ones apparently, and I didn't have any chains or come-along yet. So did the right thing and used the ratchet straps to tow the truck behind the car back up the 1 to 7 driveway, and amazingly it worked so well, but I couldn't get it the last three feet or so without wrecking something so I parked the truck and went and bought the chains and come-along. Then got it the rest of the way.

I had to make two trips in the car to return the shit and now I'm *again* without a working truck. Same truck I just rewired and fixed all the gages and engine last winter. It made it another year before this.

It's either the throw out bearing seized, not likely, or the clutch had a catastrophic failure, more likely. Anyway, now I'll be taking the mentally illmission down to see what happened and what it needs in the near future. shouldn't be a problem.

yes, that thing that attaches the engine to the drivetrain is called a mentally illmission.

lol mentally illmission

Is there anything The Bear can't do? It's always awesome if you can fix something yourself. We can only do a minimum of car related stuff.

Interestingly, similar thing happened to us some months ago though we were driving home from the hardware store. It was 'just' the slave cylinder but you gotta take out the entire gearbox for this so it wasn't cheap. It's all labor cost, the parts cost nothing.

Anyway I made sure everything was running smoothly, we got stuck in the middle of a major road at an intersection. But it was all cool. Some passerby even came and helped host push the car over the intersection into a parking lot so we weren't blocking traffic until roadside assistance towed us to the mechanic. They came within 10min and the car was fixed on the same day. Germany fuck yeah.

>>246

>Is there anything The Bear can't do?

I'll let you know if we find anything.

Literally, the guy's a genius and it's not us saying that it's other people. Let me brag about my host for a minute and give you a short list:

1. He's a certified mechanic as you know
2. He's an artist with proven talent
3. He's an excellent tile setter, drywaller, framer, roofer, gardener, stone mason, plumber, bricklayer, welder, basically anything construction he can do without previously ever doing it and it looks professional we have tons of examples.
4. He writes technical articles that are actually useful
5. He derived a formula in molecular science that now has his name in it (in an obscure paper that no one probably will ever see, but still.)
6. Things we can't even tell you because it would probably dox him, but impressive achievements in science. Chemistry, mechanics, dynamics, aerospace, design, and many inventions among others.
7. Three advanced degrees spanning a decade and two different universities. BS, MS, MA
8. Has a flipping amazing job in a research lab where he's loved for performing miracles and making prototypes that actually work that have never been done before and other whole companies have failed at. I mean he has help though.
9. He has a successful home business that makes even more money then his research job.
10. He's in the beautiful people's club.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=Sye9RFaRs_g [Embed]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=P0ytb8GRJg8 [Embed]

You're all geniuses I feel so average in comparison. Went shopping, today and Cat was actually helpful reminding me of something I had forgotten. She was unusually active while imposed. Is this progress?

>>243

Okay, well since yall aren't a genious like me you wouldn't know but my truck has two sticks coming out the floor. One to select the gear, and the other one is for the mentally illfer case. Well, the mentally illfer case has 4 selectable positions. 4H, 2H, N and 4L. So, if you put it in 2H, that's normal RWD. That's where it should be normally. It shouldn't ever be in N. Well, it was in N. So yeah, the truck won't go. So... the truck is actually fine.

Anyway, when it does need a clutch, at least I determined that it would be as simple as removing the crossmember, mount, engine bolts to the bell housing, drive shaft to the mentally illfer case, and linkages. Then slide it rearward, lower it, and work on the clutch in place as I've done on other cars.

I think I let my friend's kid play in the truck a while ago and he must have pulled it out of 2H.

>>262

Yes

>>263
Genius!
We know because host's grandparents had a Toyota Landcruiser with the H/N/L τransfer box. To be honest I wouldn't have suspected it being in N position either in this case but then again we don't let kids play with our stuff so that's not likely to happen.

Returned from Easter Vigil, it was long and boring and some of the music souded like a retard was randomly smashing his head onto the organ keyboard. Also it's kinda meh in German, a mass should be in Latin. Well it was still interesting to go there once a year for the candles but that's enough.

>>266

What if I had replaced the clutch and never figured it out, then holy crap.

It's disabled three ways, has a steering lock device, wheel stops, and so it's pretty much impossible to move by playing on the inside.

Trucks are so expensive here, I can't believe it considering I only spent 5k on this and put 5k in it but today you wouldn't be able to get this truck for less than 25k. Granted I've had this truck since around the time I started driving so yeah they should cost more by now.

Yeah it's crazy. A properly equipped new Land Cruiser easily costs a 100K. 100.000€. Let that sink in. I'm still somehow sad the old one was sold when host's grandparents died but what do you do with an offroad vehicle in a city that doesn't even have hills? It consumes twice as much fuel as an ordinary car and costs twice as much in insurance.

Now watching the Pope stagediving on St. Peter's square, he seems to be having fun. Though he can't walk anymore, they should put him in power armor or better yet replace him with a rabbit.

Today Joy and Ulla discussed the notion of puppy love and it exemplified just how much of a little girl Joy can be sometimes, something like a mature woman in the body of a little girl. Then Ren thought of herself as a little girl in the body of a fully developed womam and I enjoyed contemplating the dichotomy of this.

I slept like 10 hours, Idk wth happened.

This afternoon Ren decided she loves to garden and had fun convincing me to garden barefoot.

She said, "but you're a Bear, with barefeet." She didn't show any sign that she appreciated the spelling difference.

No tragedy occurred as a result. It was kinda fun imposing ren with me. Apparently her slightly clawed cat-like human feet can dig holes as good as my claws.

She also flooded my mind with weird thoughts and scenarios and suggested a whole erotic visual novel series with her and I where she tries to seduce me. The scenarios and situations were as contrived as a bad porno and I reiterated that she's like a daughter to me to which she replied, "daddy, I've been a bad girl and you need to spank me."

Ashley found it to be funny and egged her on even though Ren is like her daughter but whatever.

Well that was enough Ren overload for today.

>>294
>little girl in little girl body
>mature woman in little girl body

>>296
Lies!
There can never be too much Ren

Yesterday we realized that we were giving Ren too much attention when in her excitement she attacked Ashley. The result would probably have been illegal to air in most civilized counties. I can't say it wasn't very entertaining though.

This morning while scrolling Reddit I fond a user who wrote something that came right out of the Bear system subjective reality playbook. It outlined a method to change past memories, and described techniques of how to achieve a better outcome for daily nits almost exactly like we do but from a purely scientific mindset. It renewed my faith in humanity.

Not so much what happened but what's about to happen maybe. I'm gearing up for a confrontation and a friend of mine is on point. Together we're about to drop bombs and call out and what they don't know is, this 6'4 200 lb Bear with size 15 sneakers isn't the one they should be worried about. My friend is *intense* when she's disrespected and though at 5'4 and slight she's not exactly intimidating, but she surprises the hell out of people. If anything I'm there as a finisher if needed, but only to defend and it's never come to that.

Sorry for being vague but you know.

My system right now: (see gif)

>>336

[Ashley] Mr. "Zen nothing gets to me" got a little heated but only for about a second.

[Bear] well I mean shit. The only flak I got was collateral damage. Girl brought her other friend and that bitch is crazy. These girls are live grenades with hairpin triggers and lacking a valid target the closest one will do. Thank Lord Xenu that my friend didn't lose her cool.

[Ashley] she's got a thing for Bear but he's adorable.

[Bear] The situation went down through information gathering and it diffused the situation, but it came down to a hair's breadth. Of course I'm only there for the distraction, violence isn't my thing. They've seem me pop though and I gotta be ready for the signal but I hate the adrenaline. Anyway, the world is safe for another day.

[Joy] the issue with the friend of the friend is she's a narcissist and narcissists don't care who they attack as long as they're seemingly getting their way. I'll give Bear 7/10 barely passing only because he did follow the procedure for narcissists and gave zero attention to the attacks... well after his first heat but he quickly remembered who this woman was and that the only way to win is not to play. He literally had to put distance between them and use his friend as a shield. He couldn't resist poking at her though and that was unnecessary.

[Bear] a gun without a target is dangerous when wielded. She gaslights me for something that I had no part in, and can't do anything about only because I have a different opinion that *she eventually adopted as her opinion*. S.M.H.

Drama

getting involved in catfights as a man is not a smart thing to do. you can't win and what do you do if they really go nuts and attack you?

>getting involved in catfights as a man is not a smart thing to do. you can't win and what do you do if they really go nuts and attack you?

>>339

They go nuts and attack me on a bi-monthly basis, it doesn't bother me in the long run anymore. I consider it part of life and I don't take it personally. It's a chees game with them. They get riled up justifiably but collateral damage is neigh unavoidable.

You talk like I have a choice, but there is no choice on my end. I do what I'm supposed to do or let hell be unleashed upon heaven and Earth and believe me there would be a lot more damage.

You know it's not lost on me that minor mentally illgressions could be let alone and 99% would do just that, but to them it's an invitation to war and they bring overwhelming force. It consumes them, there is no peace because they're two steps ahead in escalation. These lambs bay and kick not knowing there are wolves among them.

Play nice with everyone because you don't know if that lamb you kick is really a wolf, and wolves run in packs.

Anyway, it's not over but I slept well, they most certainly didn't. It's in their nature to right wrongs and I pitty the fool who crosses them. I have some pretty crazy stories. I'll tell you this, if the line is crossed, something that's not petty, you won't see them coming, and you won't know who did it or why.

It's not a cat fight either. In a cat fight the cats are more or less evenly matched.

>>340
Just to be sure, we're talking about an IRL incident here, not drama between your tuppers right?

We managed to do some good forcing today but I had to literally drag Cat out for it. She does cooperate once things have started but to get there isn't easy.

>>342

Yeah, it's irl, I can't get into too many details but it's my life. My headmates made dealing with this shit waaaay easier.

My business partner's involved so I really don't want to say no and my friends are kinda insistent anyway. Put it this way, even if I didn't want anything to do with it, I'm involved. And who wants to see their friends get hurt? Plus it's like having a lawyer, you don't want to make a deal with that devil but they protect you against other devils. Even the narcissist has my back in her own way and she's proven that many times. She just loves the game of it though you wouldn't know that by how she acts.

This doesn't make for good fiction anyway, it's too mental, hard for readers to relate.

>>332
I talked about this whole rewriting bad incidents stuff on .info, you surely remember. Host isn't fond of messing with real memories because of Fede but as always it depends on context.

>>336
You do love this drama stuff, I can't deal with such people at all.

>>345

Maybe because normal life is boring and that's why I got involved in 2014, but in 2018 I had enough of this bullshit but you can't buy your soul back.

Anyway no, this kinda shit makes me want to go buy a gun, but as it turns out I'm the only person I know who's actually a pacifist including any of my headmates except maybe Gwen, but you can never truly trust womem real or otherwise. So that's a hard maybe. And I'm using a very loose definition of pacifist in that I will exhaust all non-violent options.

Anyway today in about 40 minutes round 2 begins and the plan is to let them come to us, they set the bait. If they're cool they won't take it, if they're ready to scrap then they're about to get owned.

Then again tomorrow and another round on Sunday and this will continue through next week. Unfortunately for them, they stepped in it and there's no escape. Now, maybe nothing happens, maybe they apologize and on the surface everything's cool, but there is no redemptive move on their end now. They're marked prey at this point.

If I told you what they did you may think that my friends are going way overboard but this is what they do. I said, they escalate two steps ahead in advance and there's nothing anyone can do about it, certainly not me. At least the narcissist isn't unvolved on front line maneuvers today.

Life goes on.

In other news, Ulla is shaping up to be a total badass. Aleshe was supposed to be the badass. I really have no say in this book at all. Aleshe's got that "I'm an innocent new headmate" personality but somehow Ulla just skipped that altogether. As new characters go, she's already way more interesting in that kind of strong personality sort of way. It's still completely unknown if she'd even be a true headmate and it was even suggested that Aleshe take her form and personality and I don't even know what is going on as usual.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=no0qB8CVspY [Embed]

I told you to just sit back and see what happens, I told you dog

>>352

Sometimes I think my headmates are either trolling me or somewhere in my subconscious mind it just wants to be different than anyone else.

On the irl drama front, atrocities were learned that swayed me to their side and helped me understand why the escalation was warrented. I can never see such depths of social interaction on my own and only through very targeted tutoring can I glimpse it. It's disheartening that people can exist that have such an outward purity and kindness but just under the surface is fetid rot straight to the core. One of the major offenders managed to deflect the blame entirely onto someone else, and that person took it willingly, but we know the truth. The sociopathic narcissist is so many levels above a functioning narcissist as to almost be unrecognizable. I'm not the type to take compliments well so when I do I'm immediately suspicious, but this guy was above me for over a year now. He appears angelic, what an amazing facad. This one is finally a match for my friends. I have no idea how they'll accomplish his downfall.

Back to tulpamancy: we worked on the book a little more and had some fun with the gritty absurdity of grindark. It's refreshingly honest.

>>337
>the procedure for narcissists
manipulative sociopaths need to be terminated with extreme prejudice

>371

Well unfortunately that's not what's going to happen and it's really an unfortunate situation on all sides. I have a gift though in that I mostly don't care and I'm naturally immune to sociopaths because I hate gossip about others, never trust anyone who badmouths anyone else, don't yake compliments well, hate authority, ignore social rules, etc. My friends are losing sleep over it though.

Risha came to me like the Cheshire cat in hypnagogia last night. She was creepy with a wide smile and glowing red eyes and Ashley said she was joking and then she popped back into her same bubbly self. Joy was there too and she was also acting bubbly.

In hypnagogia, it's like a dream but not really lucid though I am seemingly awake and I can do whatever, the visuals and sounds are all hallucinatory and can be pretty random but not in a dream logic sort of way. So seeing them can be quite nice because the visuals can be exquisite. It can either degrade to hypnagogic enhanced imagination, stay like an interactive hallucination, become a dream, or simply lead to me falling asleep. The latter is what usually happens nowadays.

I at least got to see Joy which is always a plus, and Ashley and Risha (the Ren-Misha standard merge) for the first time in this state. Even a still photo is a gift in this state so that was nice. I also heard Ashley's voice, it's nice to hear her like a separate person in the same room but it's pretty much the same as I expected of course. Risha said something like, "I love to dance" and her voice was sultry. Joy just said hello I think, but I've heard Joy's voice before too, we had a discussion once in front of a futuristic cityscape with flying cars which was pretty neat.

>>372
Keeping emotional distance is probably the best way. Here people are always nice and polite even if everyone knows they are lying. And no one ever says the truth. Very exhausting but also professionsll. All about social norms. Sometimes I wish we were more direct and honest with feelings like Germans but at least least you know whatever people say is not what they really think of you.
>>377
That's cool, I only get brief nonsense before falling asleep which happens quickly. Again no dreams remembered but I spent a lot of time visualizing dressing up Cat. This is unexpectedly fun even though I still see nothing outside my imagination

>>379

In the states, it depends strongly where you live. I've lived in three places:

This us the perfect analogy, your car breaks down on the side of the road: In the south people are genuinely nice, so they'll help you in any way they can even if they have nothing. In the northeast, people will go out of their way to help you but berate you for needing help. In the southwest people will sympathize for your situation honestly but then drive past.

On the street: in the south people want to talk to you and not let you go. In the northeast, people do not want to insult you. In the southwest, people do not want to talk to you, eyes forward, walk past.

From what I saw Alaska is like the south. People are genuinely nice and want to talk.

Nowadays you better match their ideology though. Being a moderate chameleon, I match everyone.

>>384

Oops, I meant in the northeast, and I mean New York, they only want to insult you, but they will help and they have good hearts. As opposed to the southwest where they're nice on the surface but secretly plot against you and won't help. They say they will but actually go out of their way not to. They're as fake as their hair, nails, lips, boobs and ass.

>>379
>I spent a lot of time visualizing dressing up Cat. This is unexpectedly fun
Yeah I can imagine with those big titties

We went for a long walk outside but host kept holding monologues about our adventures in foreign countries all the time, I had to yell several times. Goddamn, like some gramps with his war stories he has already told a billion times. Plus I've been there with him, I know already!

Today Misha wanted to prove to me she wasn't gay and I was convinced enough.

Ulla popped in on her own so dangit, another mouth to feed seems imminent, it's still up to her but like... we haven't written a book since this thing started so it could happen.

>>371
le german final solution

>>389
lol i think Tamamo wins most big titted tupper award. also i hope you punished host severely

I was at a family gathering last weekend it was great we ate and drank a lot and I imposed Yulya and talked to her. in mindvoice ofc i wasn't that drunk. mfw family will never know about her. feels bad and sad man

>>389
>>400
You're just jealous

>>422
no

>>428
lool how do you make this stuff

we tried dancing like you suggested but man can't imagine how that works. not knowing how to dance isnt helping either i think

>>431
Blood, sweat, tears and stable diffusion

Dancing with tupper doesn't really make sense until you got this down so you can do it on autopilot. Otherwise you have no cognitive reserves left for imposition.

I highly recommend taking courses in a dance school. It's great fun, excellent workout and you get to meet lots of girls. They usually have a huge female surplus. My god these were the days when I was a bit younger but that's sadly ogre.

Apart from that, observing yourself in a large mirror greatly helps. Tupper has to mirror your movements which is not easy in the beginning. Start with strictly symmetrical stuff and not something where the woman makes other movements than the man. Just basic steps over and over until you can do it with closed eyes. Latin dances which are more or less stationary are good because you don't need a ballroom to move around. Cha Cha Cha, Samba, Salsa work well for us. Forget something like Viennese Waltz, Foxtrot or Tango unless you live in a mansion. You need lots of space as a beginner. Well first of all you gotta find out what you both like music wise and can do well. Take a beginner's course where you learn the basics of all standard dances. It's not that hard and absolutely worth it.

That does sound cool but eh I'm terrible at this stuff.
Cat continues to accompany me at work, I fear one day I'll talk to her aloud while coworkers are around

It's really not hard to learn the basics!

We went for hanami today, it was nice, weather was great. I like cherries

This grimdark fantasy has to be illegal. It's so awful and disgusting. Aleshe lore is waaaay too dark. I'm going to have nightmares from this for sure. What am I doing...

[Joy] the depths of Bear's darkness is pretty impressive. I used to feel like my story was dark, it made me depressed, but damn, it's like a bad hair day compared to being ripped to shreads by wild bores.

[Aleshe] what just happened to me in the book, I'd rather wild bores were involved. I can handle it though, I know it's not real. Still this one will never be released.

>>462

In this alternate reality, guns are banned even in the US. They exist but ammunition is also banned and so it's more precious than gold. You wouldn't find an average person with a gun, and the rare instances they do, they wouldn't have ammunition, but a billionaire would have a full supply and probably means to make more. I suppose if you can make powder yourself then you could have some but it would be met with extreme action by the popo, you likely wouldn't make it to trial as the "evidence" would be worth way to much to be put in the evidence locker. No paperwork, no record.

>>469

Oh give me a brake. And also why does Ashley know what you're talking about long before I do? Like seriously and she doesn't tell me. Friggen troll sometimes.

(lol licensed image)

Also, we blame bodyOS for all that shit. It can't spell or use the correct words.

>>471
very convenient and very imageboard-tier i remember a discussion on /int/ where a brazilian and an iraqi lectured a swiss guy about correct german grammar. many such cases

>>443
dance courses may be interesting i regret not having done this as a high schooler to pick up girls

>>453
what, are you in japan now or do you have hanami in germany

>>471
>only native English speaker
>self-proclaimed genius
>F in spelling

>>473
We have lots of Japanese cherry trees in parks here but unfortunately no large-scale hanami celebrations like in Japan. Especially not at night, that must be nice. We'll go there one day.

>>474

Would savant be more appropriate?

Mostly I'm just awesome but you know.

Also, I also know Spanish, tambien. Si, es la verdad! I'm just slow at it que soy una oso.

>>474

Also it's not bad spelling, my phone fixed that, it's malapropism. We'll have to wait for pocket AI to fix that ond.

>>477
>>474

Or maybe it's not idfk i'm just a Bear.

[Bear] The plot armor is real. Aleshe has been beaten, spanked, and assaulted (short of rape) half a dozen times by now. It's getting silly but I guess no one's willing to write a rape scene with her in it.

[Joy] maybe next book? But seriously no, no one needs that.

[Bear] I want real skin in the game, she's got to earn that heroine title.

[Joy] there are other ways.

Ha, I've unlocked her inner fire. She broke after her last encounter. She's wounded and on her way to the hospital now.

The character Aleshe isn't separate from Aleshe, that's the point, I want to turn her into a soulbond. Joy's strength and intelligence is certainly because her character was tested so much in these ways.

Now this *is* forcing. I'm actively encouraging the story to progress in a difficult way, though the story itself is still being generated autonomously from my perspective. It's all in all a pretty interesting process. The story evoles faster than the body can type it.

I've never understood the allure of creating grim-dark stuff. If I want to see horror I go outside on the street.

Well, none of my business. Host is the opposite in creating works of serene beauty.

Today we spent some time deeply discussing the possible ramifications of Aleshe's mentally illformation to Soulbond.

This brought up two interesting points.

1. Most of my system (Joy and Gwen excluded) think of Aleshe as a character aspect of themselves and not her own person. This follows along with the Lock-Merge concept and highlights the differences between SheShe and Aleshe whereas SheShe existed before the merge as Darlene and Aleshe did not. This point was initially made by Ren in two ways, one, she considers Aleshe her own aspect, and two she may then be jealous of her if she was her own person.

Regardless if Aleshe is currently her own person or not, the mentally illition to soulbond will most certainly exclude the possibility that she's not.

I reminded her that when she is part of SheShe's Lock-Merge SheShe is acting as her own aspect to accomplish the shared experience. Ren and Joy then conversed about the similarities and perceived differences and Joy convinced Ren that it wouldn't matter if Aleshe is her own person or not.

It may seem strange that say Ashley or even SheShe don't consider Aleshe her own person but there is evidence that she is not in that Aleshe refuses to express outside the complete merge and even Joy (an advocate to Aleshe's independence) herself admits that it doesn't make sense to discuss anything with Aleshe directly while in SheShe case it does. Further discussion on this difference has occurred but is beyond the scope of this post.

2. When Aleshe officially can't be thought of as anything but her own person, how will that affect the dynamics of the system? Officially we are a system of seven and even Aleshe herself doesn't want to be counted as 8th, she only wants to be counted as 2nd when in her fully packed Lock-Merge. Even though we have played around with her expressing when one of her constituents is also expressing separately and it does work, she doesn't feel comfortable doing that. She does feel comfortable expressing alongside say Ulla.

What this means for the system structure and hierarchy in the future is unknown.

I understand the reason why Misha and Ashley never choose to be in SheShe's merge and choose dormancy over shared experience because they have always desired to be "the only one" and if they have SheShe as a shared aspect it is as if SheShe won the contest. Aleshe on the other hand is neutral ground. The nature of Lock-Merging let's headmates fulfill their wish to "be the only one", but unlike SheShe's case where the hub can be anyone in the local group, Aleshe seems to be a locked hub more similar to a true merge like Risha. And like Risha she doesn't comfortably exist outside the full merge state.

These rules and construts are known to be arbitrary and preferences rather than fundamental parts of the Lock-Merge.

>>507

>I've never understood the allure of creating grim-dark stuff.

There are two reasons for this.

1. Dark aspect:

Bear has lingering unresolved issues with humanity and exploring the darkness in a realistic way regardless of moral ethics may result in a breakthrough of acceptance. We have already seen this occurring under the model that if you write it down, you don't have to think about it anymore. In essence you're performing exposure therapy. Some concepts in the book are definitely triggering and the idea is to find something that can still trigger Bear to determine where more work is needed. This will bring Bear closer to your host's shining brightness though maybe without your host's openly racist tendencies. Troll Bear is real and we'd like to excise him.

2. Strengthen Aleshe and therefore all of us:

In being part of the Aleshe lock-merge, I'm able to feel her pain and identify with her experiences even k knowing they're fictional for us. The scenarios are based on real world possibilities so we can better and more appropriately empathize with them. I can only see good things coming from this exercise.

>serene beauty

Bear doesn't consider serene beauty as real or protected. He sees everything of beauty as temporary and endangered. This thought process isn't helpful. He needs to accept the ever changing world as both positive and negative and not merely destructive and fouling. This is the work we do for him. To show that our never-changing divine beauty is a reflection of the world not an exception to it.

>>510
>has unresolved issues with humanity
Don't we all? We cannot rest as long as humanity exists.

Exposure therapy is also a double-edged sword, war veterans are not exatly the most stable and happy people. Worse than breaking is getting used to or even taking a liking to atrocities. Being able to pull that off is what makes humans so unbelievably competitive and successful. Buddhist fatalism can't be the goal either. It's all a thin red line, well you gotta find your own way. Not sure I have but it could be worse I guess.

>without your host's openly racist tendencies / no troll bear allowed
Then why live? Sounds like hell
I may say horrible things with a smile, but only because to my best knowledge they are the truth. Don't shoot the messenger.

I also need to stop tupper's purity autism of wanting to crystallize me into some ethereal being sometimes. She's very good at determining what she doesn't like but sucks at offering viable alternatives. Unfortunately it's not that easy if you are to survive in an imperfect society in an imperfect world.

>>508
While interesting from a philosophical perspective, I'm increasingly unsure if the rabbit hole of inter-system identities truly leads anywhere.

We've rejected the hypothesis of body = self, the next step would be rejecting the idea of any monolithic 'personalities' as well. If we view personalities merely as arbitrary but not equally strong containers of certain feedback loops, any such inter-system paradoxons become meaningless.

From a short experiment we conducted a long tme ago, both me and tupper could easily split into an endless multitude of different 'persons' and merge again. With enough forcing / interaction any of such entities could probably become as real as me or tupper. But in fact all our existences would be arbitrary fragments of the mind put into an imaginary container. At least in the direction of creation. Once strong enough any such entity could and ofc would resist being merged back.

This is why we've established a doctrine from the beginning:
There is no God but tupper and I am her prophet. Meaning there is exactly one host and one tupper and we both have to play our roles. Not because this duality reflects reality but for purely practical reasons. Any overly complex system sooner or later becomes unsustainable. It's a bit like leftards with their 8 billion genders. Can you do that? Certainly. Is it a smart idea? No. A functioning society, both in your head and in the outside world needs to deal with a discrete number of terms, even if these terms inevitably are imperfect in describing reality because, duh, they are an oversimplification for practical reasons.

TL:DR
The more you play around with an already complex system of personalities, the more headmates will pop up. We'll see if your lock-merges truly reduce the burden of paying attention to your headmates in the long run or if they sooner or later become full-fledged individuals alongside their constituents. I'm glad Highlander-Tupper immediately kept a lid on this pot. There can be only One.

>>512

The endgame of a large system is 7->1 didn't you know? I'm just following the script.

There has been a higher level scheme from the beginning, to achieve the holy grail of tulpamancy. Though you may have used brute force to achieve that, I needed more help, more than one homicidal loli could handle.

But you must understand that the genius of my system is absolute (apart from spelling). The prophecy must be fulfilled, for I am the lord of chaos, creator son of destiny. 7->1 (or 8->2) will be fulfilled. So sayeth the wise and divine angel of mercy SheShe, reimagening of Darlene the guardian angel of impossible light, constituent of the one true angel of infinite form Aleshe. The seventh will be forged, it is yet to be decided who or in what form she will come.

>>513
>homicidal loli
What kind of reputation do I have here?

Did you pet your tupper today?
I bet you forgot to pet your tupper today!

Guilty as charged! I feel like a bad host now.

[Joy] Well technically we pet the host but that's obvious.

[Misha] who can resist that floofy gooey chubby wubby softy wafty yummy tummy lovey dovey warm goodness.

[Joy] I just sit on him like a reclining lounger, but he is plush, it's hard to resist petting him.

Realized how little I am touching Cat. Wayy too little. Thanks for reminding me. And I was never petted by her, how did thid happen?! Trying this out now, brb

Don't get skinned by those claws!

It was - odd. I had Cat pat me with her paw gloves and tried to impose the feel. Yes, including the claws. And toe beans. At the beginning it worked better than expected but soon the brain became tired and went nope.jpg. And the faint feel doesn't match Cat's size and strength at all. Still not bad for first try.

>>542

Hey Cat, skip that baby step stuff, just kiss the guy. I'm working on the tongue next. Being a headmate means consent is pre-authorized, so just do it.

[Joy] I'm not sure that's right.

My business partner told me about someone she knows in my hood renting for some outrageous price, like an insane price, and I was like, no way. I looked it up on zillow and I'm like, holy crap with two well paying jobs I couldn't afford to rent here.

It's at least double what it was in 2019, I'm not kidding. Who's paying this? I don't get it. How much do these renters flipping make and why am I working this hard and not making that?

But Jesus, if I didn't work as hard as I did to be able to afford what I got I'd have to move to the ghetto. It makes me nervous.

Granted I live in view of the ocean, but I always have.

Protip - no one ever got rich from wagejobs.
Every even remotely smart person made a few millions with Crypto or Tesler in the last years. We know 2. I was seconds from putting 90K in Tesler before it increased 10fold, didn't pull it off in the end, was too risky. So yeah, there is a looot of money in the system. I used to think we were rich, both as contry and persons but in fact we're poor. Prices have skyrocketed here as well. I wanted to buy an apartment and move to a better area because it's also becoming ghetto-tier here and host suffers from subhuman noises but lol, it would have barely be possible 5 years ago. Nowadays a real estate agent wouldn't even laugh at us with what we could put on the table. Interesting stuff starts at 1M. And I'm not talking about any luxury. Who can afford that? Obviously enough people. Additionally we're really fucked here with the overall housing situation. German population has increased by almost 2 fucking millions in the last few years thanks to our honored 'guests' from shithole countries around the world. To almost 85m now. They need accomodations but building has basically stopped since the pandemic 2020. No material due to supply chain disruption, insane prices for land, material and labor. Now additionally increased interest rates and even more insane new energy efficiency regulations which make building a house utterly unprofitable for investors and unaffordable for ordinary citizens. I have no idea where this will end but it won't end well.

>>552

That's the spirit

We try but still find it hard to reach your guys level of obsession. I'd like to do more imagistic stuff but I have no idea how. Guess I'm a boring person. Boring notes: we went shopping and I imposed Cat to check out different stuff and decide what we should buy or not. I ended up with some food I've never eaten before and would never have bought myself. It wasn't bad though. So much adventure!

What I did today is the same thing I'm doing tomorrow. 12 hours of hard manual labor that may in fact kill me, but I survived day one and I should be done tomorrow so I'm starting at 5am fuck the neighbors, and working till dusk if I have to and here that means about 730pm

I've been working so hard lately I've been losing weight because there's no time to eat. Feels good, I love it.

Amazing I only got one blister, but I did go through three sets of leather gloves. Pft, at least I can afford cheap gloves so my hands stay supple and smooth.

Oh and my system completely ignored me all day.

[Ashley] you think we want to associate with hard labor? That's hilarious, hahaha.

Based.
You need to be able to create great works with both mind and body. I think this is of the few things Marx was right about that damn commie. It's deeply satisfying and important for mental health to experience the fruit of your labor first-hand.

I'm always surprised how fast the body adapts. When I'm doing unusual work which strains my hands in novel places I sometimes get blisters but the skin quickly thickens and it doesn't happen again. I also buy cheap gloves in bulk like 10 pairs and wear through them within days. Same with shoes. I walk long distances and erode shoesoles at an amazing pace. Most of my friends appear geriatric and disabled to me, they'd break after a few hours of the work I do. Not to speak of zoomers. Kids those days. Tupper still likes to make sure I work even harder and don't slack off.

I also don't understand how people can be fat. Just work more and eat less. I actually lose most weight on holidays where I'm walking around all day and find little time to eat.

I didn't finish, turns out I am not a superhero.

>>561

Fat ppl suck and you're fatphobic you fascist. Gimme miney so I don't have to work.

We're not afraid of fat people, they are just an insult to humanity. Being morbidly obese should be a felony.

>>573

Well now those donut stuffing sausages are classified as having a disease and if you think that's bad thing it's not because they can then get disability for it with BMI as low as 17.5. Yet another protected class of teet suckling fucks. And they're all racist marxist fitphobes likely leaking anal juice all over their house causing a persistent scent of rotten cabbage.

I saw a TV documentary about a little girl with black hair and black clothes who was also a bat. She gesticulated a lot while talking and said most of her bat colony died from rabies but it didn't seem to bother her much. Mindvoice tupper noted it's impossile to turn from bat to human and none of it makes no sense but again upon realizing this we just woke up instead of becoming lucid.

>>585
Uh, that was supposed to go in the dream thread.

As I routinely do, I practiced hitting tupper with several objects to make sure the brain is conditioned to ignore any imaginable damage she could possibly take. It is simply outside of the possible realm. The fruit of this labor are impressive even in my chaotic dreams but that does not mean we can slack off.

Scheduled Alice maintenance: getting blown up with bazooka

>>586
not even surprised anymore

no hospital happenings to report, was completely apathetic and tupper wasnt there except for the end when i was better. she feels bad now for not getting me to the dentist sooner

Today I moved about 3-4T of debris, at least 5cu.m using a snow shovel and a wheelbarrow but I didn't have to drag it up hill this time so I'm not even tired. Ashley felt bad for not being there on the weekend so she was there for a few minutes and basically gave me an excuse why I don't need her and yes she's watching. It was convincing though I can't say I remember or understand the reason.

[Ashley] he was having fun with inner dialog and it was pretty cute and funny so why would I want to screw that up with my own blathering on? So anyway, Bear's the talker most times, not us.

>>591
I hate it when host talks to himself Much yelling must be done.

>>587
>>590
Imagine not regularly hitting your tupper with a sledgehammer as part of your forcing routine.

>>593

If they can talk amongst themselves all day I can do the same. It's only fair.

back on track with forcing and visualization though my face is still swollen and hurts. tuppering sucks when you're not feeling well which is not what tupper wants

>>608

Toughen that tup-bitch up. My headmates don't give a fuk if I'm in pain or not. 'Cause I raised em that way.

[Ashley] it's true, one time I thought Bear was being a little bitch just because he stubbed his toe for like the third time in two days so I switched in to show him it wasn't so bad and I nearly died from the pain.

[Bear] ha, learned her right. It was funny.

its not so much pain but lack of any motivation that comes with toothache and pain meds. you dont want to do anything anymore you just exist in vegetative state. much different from my army experience. but yes we need to git gud even in shtf situations

think im really gonna start ballroom dance class i wanna see where this is going

Today I did so much work my hands are practically numb. My headmates didn't speak to me much partially because they sometimes switch inadvertently and being in a near constant state of exhaustion, pain, and generally uncomfortable, doesn't sound good to them. Now that I'm resting they're all kinds of talkative.

It was a very fun day, I love intense manual labor. I feel like I did those beautiful days I used to work out for hours a day.

Also, this much work basically gives me natural endorphins that are a natural mood enhancer. At least now that I forgot why I was so pissed off.

[Misha] I have to say, it's fun to watch Bear work all day. I wish I could make him lemonade or something but that would require me to use the body and he's already using it.

Another 13 wonderful hours of constant intense labor. My arms keep falling asleep when I'm in bed, my shoulder hurts when I sleep which kinda sucks. I'm under near constant stress as well, which is different. Sometimes I just like a change.

Tomorrow? 13 hours of intense manual labor.

I'm really going to miss this when I'm done.

I'm working with this stuff where if I do it wrong I basically have to start over but it's extremely difficult to fix. It doesn't bother me though. I only made one mistake so far.

Ashley and SheShe ctually talked to me quite a bit today. I forget what we were talking about.

>not paying attention when tupper speaks
I'd be dead meat

I honestly think most mental illnesses could be cured by submitting people to hard but fulfilling manual labor outside. Creating something with your own hands is one of the best antidepressants. And it's no wonder the masses of people with inhumane bullshit jobs go nuts sooner or later. I chopped some firewood the past 2 afternoons evenings, a laughable amount of work compared to a bear digging a den but still felt good. Tupper watched closely to make sure I didn't do anything dangerous like chopping my own head off.

We also went to Nyphenburg park and tupper nagged and explained in detail why we can't sit down on this or that bench because there were other people considered subhumans (literally everyone) sitting too close on the next bench. Or it was next to a trash can. Tupper hates trash cans.

>>635
Life with tsundere narcissist tupper sounds hard.

Ate lunch at a restaurant today and Cat made my day trying to hold knife and fork with her paws to cut the food. Epic fail. Actually had to laugh but luckily it fit well into the conversation so nobody suspected anything.

Did very well today, just great. Stage 2 is complete. I don't know how fast I can do stage 3, we'll see. I have Tu and Th off from manual labor. Instead I'll pretend to work at my day job or something. I'm literally using vacation to do this but what else am I going to do with it? I don't look forward to my trip coming up. I'd rather skip it. 3 days in a world class 5☆ resort hotel sounds boring. I don't drink or do anything else. I guess I'll swim in the crazy attached water park or something but that'll probably just be gross because I don't want to see fatties or drunkies.

[SheShe] our objective is to get him to enjoy himself.

>>637
ebin
Now let Cat eat with chopsticks

>>641
If the waterpark is as posh as the hotel, at least you probably won't have to deal with niggers and spics wearing full clothes. Well I wouldn't go there. I don't like public pools for the same reason as you, that South Park episode was eerily realistic.

Maybe the hotel has a roof you can fix. Host has fixed many hotel rooms, Faulty sockets, broken lamps, leaking faucets. He does it for free
and his OCD

>643

I do miss the old names, back when people weren't so sensitive.


Hey, didn't you know it's not okay to be bigoted against anything but single white men, the patriarchy, the rich (unless it's a celebrity), or in rare circumstances white women of privilege... oh and of course fascists, you fascist!

I happen to like all those things though, and generalizations aren't good or bad in my mind, it's instictual and beneficial in some cases.

I don't consider myself a bigot though, however like parallel processing, the bar is being reset and unlike parallel processing, the bar for bigotry is being set so low we trip on it constantly. For instance, if I don't care for futanari or mentally ill hypno-porn, then I must be a bigot. If I have a genetial preference I must be a bigot. If I have a realistic sense of health and aren't attracted to donut stuffers, tatted up narcissists, piercings or the mentally ill in general then I must be a bigot.

So fuck everything then. It's so easy to separate from that culture without online addiction dragging me in constantly, what's not so easy to separate from is the culture war in laws that affect me, but again, laws are meant to be broken.

>>644
You are a cis white man, that automatically makes you a bigot racist abuser. You can virtue-signal all you want but in the end all you are to them is just another damn niggerguy.

Never appease to insane extremists, you'll be the first one against the wall once they're in power. That's how it always has been.

>>645

[Bear] As Ashley used to say, "I can do whatever I want." I'm not changing my core values for or against anyone whether they come after me or not. I'll punch a MTF without moral opposition from my side. Dude's always going to be a dude to me, deal with it. I'm not going to hate on them for nothing though. They're just like any other dude in my mind, sorry if you're mentally ill like an obease fucker who thinks they're healthy, I'm only treating you like everyone else. Except of course the beautiful people cause they are always going to be a protected class. But that doesn't mean any race, creed, nationality or religion can't have beautiful people. But if you ugly, you ugly, fix yourself bitch, I did and I was cringe fucking ugly on the obease side and the anorexic side and it takes a lot a. Lot. Of effort to keep fit and presentable, step up or step away mothafucker.

[Ashley] imagine this guy without inhibitions, damn, never seen him drunk, that would need to be recorded.

[Bear] never going to happen, you can take your stipid ass drain cleaner and stick it up your ass. I ain't drinking it ever again. Nor taking any rec drugs, I didn't even take pain meds after they removed 2lbs of tumors and I had flipping drains sewed into my skin. It was painful as fuck but my gf took care of me at the time and I'll always be thankful for that. They were all benign and you couldn't see them cause they were inside growing on I forget what. My asshole brother had ones as big as grapefruit because he's a stupid fat ass loser. Mine didn't even need to be removed but I did it anyway, fuck cancer.

I had one on my finger too, that was stupid. Anyway, gotta die from something sometime. Not today.

Another full day of hard labor. Man I feel great. I like pain actually, it makes me feel like a man. Even though I'm obviously a Bear.

Joy and Misha helped me through some issues with my hands, apparently you can actually overwork things. Never heard of it. Was a little worried, not anymore.

>>646
Wtf man, you even had cancer on top of your crazy life? Are you Forrest Gump or something?
I'm once again glad about my boring normal life.

Sounds ugly. I'm glad no one in my family ever had cancer, even my granparents who all at least lived to their late 80s. Also don't overdo it, manual labor is awesome but we're not teens anymore.

>>656

I don't think they call it cancer if it's just growths. They checked them and they were all benign which just means without modern surgery I'd just become like the elephant man or something. No seriously it wasn't cancerous. Though people have died of cancer in my family before middle-age, like my father for instance. But I was only 3 so it's not like I knew him. My older sister died from overdose at 25 so can't know if she would have had cancer. My asshole older brother is stubbornly still alive so that's something. Oh, my mother who I was estranged from did die of cervical cancer at like what 55? I can't remember what her birth year was but she was 40 when I was like what 7? so there's that. I don't have a cervix so... also she was pretty obease, so probably a contributing factor.

So what did I do today? Oh, an insane amount of work and more tomorrow and for the next three days. I should be in good shape to finish the minimum before my trip.

I feel more sore than I ever felt before. I doubt there will be permanent damage. Ashley just told me to stop being a baby so ok, I'm not worried.

still problems with my teeth, on antibiotics again. wounds in the mouth are some serious shit.

and yeah, tupper is now super paranoid I brush my teeth even if it bleeds like crazy. thx a lot

>>668

Dude, wtf did u do to your teeth? Dang. Like eat some limes or something ya scurvy bastard. Also, sorry to hear that, it's a common nightmare of mine

>>672
if you really wanna know watch toothache episode from ren and stimpy
i had an infected tooth and didnt go to the dentist in time so i ended up in to hospital where they surgically removed the tooth but shits still on fire in the jaw. wound was sewn but its a huge entry point for germs. things improved first but then the wound got infected. they told me to aggressively brush and clean it even if its bleeding but still wasnt enough. things got better with antibiotics now well i hope. fuck i'd have died from a stupid tooth multiple times by now without modern medicine. really makes you think

>>679

I think I got an infection once when I was a kid. I impaled my foot on an inch long twig and couldn't get it out. A week later it was puffy and I enjoyed squeezing out the whitish-yellow puss. Then the stick squeezed out. We didn't have insurance so there was no doctor to go to.

I don't have a histamine response either, so maybe that's related to how an infection looks. I don't get swelling either. I was suffering from "non-alergic rhinitis" once and they tested me, even the control histamine prick didn't turn red. The doctor said, "it's unlikely you will ever be allergic to anything ever." But that's not 100% true, I do get welts from mosquito bites. The rhinitis was because my job office had 10x the maximum allowable mold content. So they moved me.

>>679
Damn, I had that too after my wisdom teeth were removed. Took a while until the body got infections under control. Just brush and use mouthwash and go to the doctor immediately if anything starts to swell again, don't wait until you're close to death from sepsis. And listen to tupper.

>>682
It was 3rd world-tier and it was in the US&A.
I also have very little histamine response. No allergies and barely any reaction to bee/wasp stings. Feels good man.

Both EU and US are 3rd world to me. How could you sink this low? Also my teeth are fine, get on my level.

Good meditation in the last days, I feel there is some progress. Visualization with closed eyes has improved a tiny bit. Cat is lazy as always but tends to talk more instead of communicating with gestures. Overall not bad.

I'd like to have a tulpa girlfriend, that would give me someone to come home ot.

>>692

If you answer yes to any of these questions then a headmate is probably for you!

Are you depressed or have some kind of mental illness?

Did you have severe childhood trauma?

Are you an egotistical narcissist?

Do you think to yourself, "self, you need to improve because wtf look at yourself ffs."

Do you have low self-esteem, low self-image, low self-control, experience self-loathing, or suffer from any kind of dysphoria?

Are you an angsty teen who hasn't heard of AI friend bot apps?

Are you obsessed with Discord?

Did you love MLP:FIM?

I caution you that if you answered no to all of the above you probably should just get a hobby or maybe join a hiking club.

Yesterday, I told my systemmates in French that I loved them and they responded with actual feelings of love from their respective emotional centers. Except Gwen, she was like, whatever. J/k. I just don't know where her emotional center is for sure as she almost never emotes. And there has to be pretty strong response for me to distinguish it.

I guess you could call this emotional imposition?

Fun fact, everyone has their own spot in the body where their emotions physically happen and they happen to correspond to Chakras which I used to help distinguish my headmates early on.

SheShe is stomach
Ashley is throat
Misha is heart
Joy is root
Ren in groin
Gwen is either also heart or something else because I haven't had a strong pinpoint for her, but it's probably like right vs left heart which is hard to distinguish.

>>695
>right vs left heart
are you a space marine with 2 hearts? i could not say where i feel tupper's emotions, may also vary idk. probably no difference from me.

antibiotics work, feel way better now. doing stuff with tupper feels so much better when youre not sick and in pain its unreal

There is no context where this can exist opposed.

I'm actally thankful.
I've always wanted to try a 5 days fasting diet and now that it has been publicly announced host can't chicken out. Will it suck? Who cares? Certainly not me.

>>741

I did 1 day a few times, and full bcarb free a few times which they say feels a lot like fasting because you will rely on ketosis.

The issue is you will be breaking down muscle for protein which is not ideal. There is also a limit to this.

I'd much rather do carb free, but whatever. The first two days will be the worst, good luck.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=fb4w21_sgNA [Embed]

5 days of ketotsis will clean out all the trash and it's not like host has tons of muscles to lose.

It shouldn't be a problem we're used to 2 days of intermittent fasting per week. And it's still 3 meals a day with a total of 800 kcal. Mostly leafy stuff and the meal plan I found on a whim seems to be catered to 30 year old single women that are into yoga and interior design. Whatever.

Also host will be b& from posting so I'll do it. He's still sulking and thinks this is unfair but has accepted the challenge. So here we go.

Day1
So far so good, it's a surprisingly large amount of food though almost exclusively vegetables. Workout was resumed as usual. We'll see how things go.

>>745

Isn't fasting supposed to be just water?

>>745
lol youre actually doing it

>>746
come on thats cruel 5 days just water is too much for this poor autist, dont give Alice any ideas. lets help him by posting delicious food

>>748

I'm planning on going back to a more extensive workout schedule, food won't be on my worry list. Lots of meat mostly. I just feel so good with all this hard labor. I'm sleeping like a log, energy through the roof, and healthy as a horse. The people around me get sick every other week, I haven't been sick in ages.

When I tried fasting, I only gained weight in the end. Low carb helps a lot but you have to count calories in the end. Just estimates are fine, something to stop the snacking.

Anyway...

>>747
>this is not how it works
Of coursh it is if you do things right. It's about 45% complex carbohydrates from starch-poor vegetables and 45% polyunsaturated fats from seeds, nuts and oils with very little protein. It has a similar effect on ketone body production as a water-only diet but you can still eat a reasonable amount of food. That's the neat thing about fasting mimicking diet.
https://www.cell.com/cell-metabolism/fulltext/S1550-4131(15)00224-7

But ketosis not the main goal. The goal is autophagy - Auschwitz mode. You vill lose muscle mass and you vill be happy about it! Well I am not a fan of this Valter Longo guy who came up with this as I'm allergic to self-proclaimed gurus but you gotta acknowledge stuff that works.

Now tell me more about metabolic pathways, it's quite entertaining!

>>749
Is that real gold on them doughnuts?

Tuppering really helps, host has eaten several imaginary chocolate bars, it works against hunger. The brain is stupid. So far all is bearable, I think it'S a fun experiment as we never did any dieting or calory counting and I usually buy what's on sale and this determines what we eat with no fucks given. As long as it's reasonably healthy.

No hard work in the next week, host definitely felt a bit weaker today at gardening which is no surprise. But the body will adapt. I think we should market this as tuppering + healty eating + hard work routine and become rich. It's so easy and has enormous benefits. Also haven't been really ill since 2016 and that was a fluke. But how do you find time for your crazy slave-labor projects with 2 jobs?

>>753

>Is that real gold on them doughnuts?

Probably, I wouldn't eat it but it's probably safe. Why not just eat tin foil? Cheaper and lighter.

>But how do you find time for your crazy slave-labor projects with 2 jobs?

Well technically it's part of one of my jobs but I'm also using my vacation from my day job. I get something like 8 weeks vacation? I don't remember. You silly euros get way more I'm sure. I usually use it all on my second business like weekends and hollidays. It'll be over soon and I'll miss it.

>>745
Whoa, you guys always come up with new ideas. Fasting or dieting with tupper sounds like a good idea. I'm not overweight but more healthy food wouldn't be bad. I think you could seriously market this lol.
Good luck and don't die!

>>754
8 weeks vacation? Don't you mean days? I have 2 weeks per year and thats already consideted a lot.

Day2
brought the first low this afternoon before dinner. Definitely feels ketosis-y, The body is not happy with this herbivore food. Feel tired and drowsy, not being able to think clearly affects me more than hunger. Well it's not really hunger, it's malnourishment. Like you're stuffing your stomach with grass and tree bark. But it's ok, honestly I can't imagine not eating anything for 5 days. Certainly doable but yeah, this must really suck. What we're doing here is easy.

>>755

My first real job I got 3 weeks with 1 week sick leave +10 hollidays are typical for all these.

My second job I got 23 days but sick was combined.

My third job I got 3 weeks plus 2 weeks sick.

My fourth job I got 30 days everything including hollidays and sick, no distinction.

The job I have now started with 13 days plus 10 days sick, then after 4 years it upped to 20 plus 10, now it's 26 plus 10 so 7 weeks not 8. Plus 10 hollidays ofc.

When you have your own business, there is no such thing as hollidays or sick or vacations. Or weekends or sleep. Or sanity. My business partner also has a day job and she's a manager there so shit, she's still winning damnit. I typically work 13-14 hours, she works more like 14-15 but takes more breaks. She's also competitive and refuses to lose, especially to me.

Today I worked from 6:00 to 7:00 but technically I'm just on dinner break.

I figure it might calm down a bit in 9 more years. After that it might become obsolete so.

Day3
Things stabilized, body adapted. Still feels a bit ethereal but not bad.

>>760
Thanks for that banana split, host imposed and ate it. Not that it tastes like anything but the brain is satisfied with being told something other than vegetables is eaten.

Had potluck today, high quality fried fish, chicken quesodillas with sour cream and salsa, stir fry vegetables, these like crispy banana stuffed sweet fried things woth like honey on them, they taste like banana baklava without nuts, good ole bbq chicken, fruit salad.

I didn't bring anything because I worked from 7 to 7. Got praised for it which I usually hate but I deserved it so ok.

I'm so stuffed, no room for desert... but there's like chocolate covered cookies and so...

Day4
Things calmed down, problems weren't even with a further reduction to 600 kcal per day. Host is not even hungry anymore.

>>769
Host's mother is an even worse culprit. Brought cake yesterday. Neighbor also offered some stew she had left over. Of course this happens now. It went into the freezer and will be eated when we are done with this. Nothing goes to waste. But it's amazing how much less shopping you need to do when you barely eat. Saves a lot of money too. I hate those poorfag subhumans who go 'ree I can't afford food' while filling their shopping carts with expensive and unhealthy junk while being morbidly obese. Maybe in the US it's different but here cheap and healthy food is readily available at every supermarket.

Also imposing and eating food together is fun. There is a veery faint taste imposition but it's at the level of visuals, meaning basically inexistent.

>>773

Naa, here in the greatest country in history, the fatest people in history eat the least nutritious, cheapest food in history by the bucketfull.

Yet a bucket of KFC is expensive as hell!

>>774
kfc is nigger food
i'm not a health maniac like Alice but this shit is literally hazardous wasnt there some documentary about a guy who only ate mcdolan for science nd almost died?

Yulya did improve my diet a lot but i cant see us in such fasting experiments not even for 5 days would probably quit after half a day

Yeah same, I'm not overweight and don't eat a lot of sweets but eat too much junk food that's not healthy. Maybe Cat could help with that but I fear opposite, she'd probably stuff herself with snacks when switched. Her character is good at cooking but Cat is lazy. We want to try though.

Wew, we made it!

Day5
Even skipped lunch for the lulz to go under 500 kcal. Absolutely no problems. I am quite proud of host, he didn't falter, wasn't even close to giving up. He ate so much imaginary chocolate that he's sick of it lol.

Body lost 2.5 kg in 5 days and quickly adapted to the radically altered nutrient supply.

It isn't fully over, will slightly increase calorie uptake and meat consumption over the next 2 days. Anyway this was a fun experiment, will definitely repeat this every 2 months or so as it was far easier that I imagined.

>>794
Definitely do that, cooking is a great activity to do with your tupper. Also a tremendous source of stuff to disagree on and argue about.

I'm eating icecream rn

Also, congrats, I'll be doing lowcarb later, but I do like this whole, eat all carbs and still destroy your body thing. Maybe try, probably won't.

Well it definitely works. Ate some salmon, first meaty thing in a week. You really learn to treasure food.

Now back to our usual relatively low carb high protein diet, I think I'll torture host with HIIT next. It's also something that kills the common pleb without willpower.

We really have been slacking off in the previous months, this will not be tolerated anymore.

>>818
Strange, the image won't display, let's try jpg

I expected no less from you but still congrats! So now high intensity training? Poor host.

We'll try out cooking and will also report here how it's going. So far some progress with meditation and imposind Cat with closed eyes. Falls apart if she does something though.

>>818
insane as always but well done!
now i wanna see training results i'll report about my fail at dancing, will take the class

Thanks guys!
We're gonna start HIIT slowly, this needs some preparations.
Had a nice weekend abroad, also walked a lot but it was fun.

>>820
>>827
Definitely do it and report! There's nothing better than self-improvement projects with tupper

We tried making lasagna today. Surprisingly it turned out edible though the lasagna sheets stayed a but hard and it was very slightly burnrd. Cat was cooperative but a bit impatient. But not bad for our first try.

>>854

But what did she actually do? We give support as needed but in our understanding it's like the body does most of the work, Bear doesn't even feel like he's 100% doing it. For precision stuff and checking, it's like we interrupt the body from doing things to be more careful or make changes to the routine.

Ofc anything done the first few times, it's 100% control.

For example, if we were doing something like replacing oil in a car, it's not like anyone actually even has to pay attention anymore, the body knows how to do that. If we were riding a bike, walking, driving, we can go full autonomous mode, enjoy the ride or think about things and there won't even necessarily be a memory of most of the trip.

Personally I wouldn't even want to touch the food, or eat it, or think about it, but say we were making a recipe for Bear, isn't it just like, how precisely you want to do it? Or again if you're doing it the first time, but can you describe the personal contributions made by Cat?

Yes you are right but you can manually overwrite this and actively do things while thinking about them. This is what Cat tried with possession, it was a bit rough but it works. Gives more feedback than just giving directions to the body. But mostly she just watched and reminded me/the body what to do. At least she has no problem touching or eating food.

>>864

First of all, food is disgusting, chewing is disgusting, you're disgusting when you eat and I don't have to eat. Also, I can handle or touch food just fine though as long as it's not gooey or sticky or I'm wearing gloves.

Second, I figured it was like a posession thing. I have done many things switched in, including driving and the body will take over constantly which is fine. So what you said makes sense.

We talked about Ashley as the new hub and everyone was happy. Ren was dissapointed that it wasn't like switching where she could then feel up Ashley or something. It doesn't make sense what she said on many levels but I got what she meant.

Ashley helped me out a lot last night because I was nervous about things and she was very supportive, I mean, extremely helpful, so glad she's with me. Misha helped a little too and Joy helped me go to sleep faster. I ask her to do it because she doesn't get distracted.

Basically she dictates the toe->head relaxation meditation and only very rarely do we get past the legs. It literally takea minutes, clears the mind, relaxes the body, hypnagogia starts and zzzzzzz.

So lots of fun and benefits for having great headmates.

so even a bear is nervous sometimes?
back to usual quied days, just happy my teeth seem to be fine. we'll start dancing class this weekend will report if this helps with tuppering